In this transformative episode, we delve into how death teaches us to live and explore essential tools, techniques, and perspectives to manage worry, stress, and anxiety. Discover your best life and learn how to stay and live in that contentment no matter what experiences we may encounter.
This episode is dedicated to our late supporter, Lindsey Prieur.
[00:00:21] Aaron: So, Alexander, something that's been on the forefront of my mind and in my awareness a lot is death. And naturally, that brings in kind of the opposite, which would be health and wellness. And of course, on this podcast, we discuss the J.U.S.T. Philosophy, which helps us to focus more on a life of wellness.
[00:00:44] And one of the major reasons why this has come into my mind is that I lost a friend recently who was an initial supporter of the podcast. Earlier on, she was in and active in our community and more or less, that she passed from what the doctor said would be stress. It kind of ate away at her heart. I feel like this is kind of an epidemic now in our society where we're stress, anxiety, worry, and we can get into more of the so called negative emotions, they affect us on what we would, bring in on all Five Levels. And sometimes we can feel like we're living a healthy life because we're working out, our body looks good, but if our mind and the other levels are not in a state of wellness, then we're deteriorating.
[00:01:35] So, thank you for being here Alexander. You know, I've moved to Tennessee but, I've made the trip to North Carolina where we record the podcast, and I'm so grateful to be here with Alexander and continue exploring these certain topics within the podcast and exploring on my journey. I feel like this whole next level and shift in my life has taken me into the next level of this philosophy, and I haven't even discussed a lot of this with Alexander yet, but I'm sure it's going to yield more and more future podcast topics for us to discuss.
[00:02:05] Alexander: I'm looking very forward to that. It's so good to be back in your energy and for us to see each other and catch up. And as you were just saying, we hadn't had a lot of time to catch up. We're kind of jumping right in and getting into this subject. You have been talking about the subject of death and many times health and death can come simultaneously as interests of people because they are the polarities.
[00:02:27] And as you mentioned, we focus here on the podcast and in the J.U.S.T. Philosophy on Five Levels of Wellness. And that includes the Spiritual, the Mental, the Emotional, the Energetic, and the Physical. The importance of all five of these is still relatively unrecognized by most people in our culture, and fortunately or unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of focus going on mental health now. People being diagnosed with stress more and the physical implications of stress, even to the point of death. And, you know, we can say that this is very disheartening, but it's eye opening as well. And, fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes we have to really have something shoved in our faces before we look at it at the level that we should.
[00:03:22] This is an individual interpretation for most people. I like to say that, whatever's coming to you individually as subjects around you, in conversations and interest, is kind of like that nudge of intuition sometimes. It's like the universe helping us to maybe take a look at something that we're not aware of or that we're not concerned with focusing on. Many times it does take a physical ailment to catch people's true attention and hopefully in today's podcast we're going to express some things that might wake up, so to say, some of our listeners before that physical ailment has to come.
[00:04:00] Aaron: Yeah, so I've had the death of a friend, I have a friend slash neighbor who's in the process of passing, a little bit older. I just turned 39, which is kind of midlife, or maybe even, maybe even like over the hump nowadays with the life expectancy of a male being somewhere around 74, 75, I think. And it just came in around my birthday where, you know, my body has started not feeling as young as it used to, and I'm just starting now to feel like I'm understanding myself on a whole nother level and I'm being comfortable in who I am and not needing to convince people of who I am. Which is a great feeling to finally get there because I do have issues around affirmation, needing affirmation, and even though it doesn't seem like I do, I do.
[00:04:48] Alexander: Sure.
[00:04:49] Aaron: So, anyway, I feel like I'm stepping into my power and now I'm like, "Okay, well, half my life is over." I'm using it to motivate, like, why is death coming in? Because I just feel like it's coming in from every area, just people all around me, I'm seeing death, or maybe I'm just noticing it more because it's right in my awareness.
[00:05:04] And so, obviously, there's a message in there and I'm trying to look at it as what do I need to see to improve my life? The message that I've gotten is just continue to step in to my power and to be able to live life in a more fruitful way where I'm not just wasting time. I'm just being more intentional with my time, because now I can see how limited it is and just the process of seeing somebody go from having like plans in the future and then suddenly you're dying and now you have to plan out your last month. It's just a mind F, you know, and it's just so hard. I've always been curious about this and I don't know, maybe to a morbid sense, but it's hard to think about a lot. But I'm trying to use it to motivate myself to really live my last days, however many that is. I'm not dying, I'm just saying, you know, we're all limited here and I don't want to ever be caught off guard where I get the news and I'm like, "Well, I've wasted the last 10 years of my life when I should have been really enjoying it." So I'm just trying to, to put it all into perspective and motivate myself to take action into not having regrets, I guess.
[00:06:15] Alexander: Yeah, and there's multiple things that I want to highlight here. And one thing is the basic view of our culture and death and how it's really not, for most people, something that is discussed, is comfortable, is seen as a beautiful transition, although most religious belief systems and even spiritual systems, say that there's something better on the other side. But, it's still such a taboo subject in our culture.
[00:06:43] And I mention to people quite often that I know three things very confidently; and that's death and love and loss. And I give death and loss the credit to teaching me how to love. So, when the subject of death comes up around me, it's very rarely anything negative. It's an opportunity. And again, when we're talking about these Five Levels, that death is just the death of the physical part. And our energy, from many people's way they look at it, continues on and whether that's energy, or soul, or spirit, or whatever somebody wants to give that label. I think that, what helped me with that is, of course, I've gone through an awful lot of death. Everybody from grandparents, to parents, to wives, to friends, relatives. But I enjoy life more now than I ever have throughout my life and part of that was seeing how special so-called "time" was. And especially after going through five years of excruciating chest pain after my wife dying. Huge wake up call, because it did feel very physical. It wound up being the emotion, frustration, and working through that to release it, but here I like to suggest to people that If you can take this with a grain of salt; When you start considering that we're all dying, like everyone is, but none of us know the life expectancy, so to say, whether you've got a month to live, or ten years, or thirty years. If you live life in a way to where you remember daily that you don't know when that time is, that you want to live life in a way that keeps you away from the "would haves", the "should haves", and the "could haves". The way that I see embracing that is through embracing failure. That you can connect failure and death. And when you're able to see failure as just an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to learn, and that if I'm going to expand, I have to be willing to fail. That's a death to the ego. It's a death to insecurity.
[00:08:52] So, I think we can work a lot with changing our general perception of this death and be able to talk about it in a beautiful way of maybe leaving a habit behind and seeing that as a death and then you can connect death and rebirth. Again, we're getting closer to the health model. Health being like wealth. I think that's becoming more and more popular in the times ahead and where we're at right now, people are seeing that how they feel on many different levels plays a big role to their level of experience and enjoyment.
[00:09:26] Aaron: And that's exactly where all these experiences have led me to, because I can focus on death and then transition that into focusing on enjoying life, but it ultimately, again, leads me to my health. I've been blessed to have such great health in my 30s. I was a sickly child. I kind of grew out of that and then when I took my own health into my own hands and took responsibility for it that's kind of when I feel like it started to excel. But again, like now I'm at the peak where now it's going to start being challenged more and I need to start putting more attention to that.
[00:10:01] Thankfully, I started putting in this work consistently for the last seven years and so I'm at a totally different point and I don't want to shy away from the people who are just starting, but it really is, you start and you don't stop, and then you look back and you're so grateful that you started when you started. Time just keeps going and you don't want to be like, "Oh, I should have started, I should have started," because every day just compiles, and compiles, and compiles, and I'm just at such a different level now after seven years. And again, I can't wait to share this with you, because I just feel like a different person all of a sudden and I'm just so grateful for that.
[00:10:37] Alexander: And this is where, you know, I want to bring in, again, gradual changes over long periods of time equals lasting results. And I think that's what you're experiencing and doing your best to express is, it's been a seven year journey. And a lot of the way along the way, you may have thought that you knew what you know now. But then you have breakthroughs and you go, "Oh, no, I wasn't seeing this as deeply as I see it now".
[00:11:06] And, I wanted to mention that because a lot of people that start this work, they want it to be fast. Some people feel like if you work and focus on it even harder, that you move through it faster. It's more like developing a lifestyle and it's stopping to be the work. It's just what you do. And that takes, you know, a minimum of a seven year cycle, typically, to truly move through any type of huge transition or healing a trauma or working with something like that. So, this is a great time. I am looking forward to our conversations after the podcast, seeing what all you have been going through, through this big transition in your life.
[00:11:46] Aaron: Yeah, and the stuff I'm talking about is just the daily stuff that would cause me anxiety or stress or worry. You know, I was a constant worrier throughout my twenties and thirties, worrying about money, because I'm a double diamond card in the destiny cards. And just utilizing the tools and techniques in the J.U.S.T. Philosophy to root out and find where I have resistance in my life. Whenever I feel that pull, I can pause and stop and go through the process of finding where that is, and then find a solution or some way to shift that perspective that I'm in agreement with, you know, within myself if it is a perspective shift somewhere, just to allow that energy to flow and it sounds so like foo foo, but it really isn't. It's really a certain process that after practicing it over, and over, and over again, it starts to become part of you to a point where you're not always kind of bogged down. Like, if we're talking about a metaphorical computer, we're not always having these processes running at a hundred percent and bogging us down in our mind, especially. I guess the point is to keep practicing but I'm at a point where a lot of these things don't cause a lot of high level processing and just like that back level subconscious that they used to.
[00:12:59] Alexander: Yes, and, a big part of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy and what we've discussed in so many episodes of this podcast is the matter of managing emotions. To know that the emotions come from a certain thought process or a judgment and that process or judgment come from a belief system that has either been taught to us or created at some point. And normally that's around doubt of some type.
[00:13:26] So see, once those emotions get activated, they have an energetic impact. They drain our energetic aura that has been proven by Western medicine now. In Eastern medicine, they look at it through the Chakras, the energy centers, that power this energy bubble around us, and then when that energy field gets weakened, we're more susceptible to injuries or disease in that area of the physical body. The overall wellness is Five Levels of Wellness. On all five of those levels, everything's communicating, there's no resistance, which basically means there's no judgment going on. So, many times people may be running good on maybe one or two of the levels, but most people aren't even aware that they have these five levels. So they certainly can't be working on them and making sure that they're nice and tidy and everything's working optimally.
[00:14:19] The place to start is understanding that when you work to manage your emotions, not suppress them. I'm not talking about running from them. I'm talking about inviting them in. We have a saying through the podcast and the philosophy of leaning into the friction. Learn to make love with the friction in your life so if something that angers you or somebody angers you to see that you're giving your power away by allowing that anger and that there needs to be an adjustment. We call it the Three R's to Recognize the person, place, or situation. To learn to Respect it and then to Redirect it.
[00:14:56] And so we have the whole processes for any new listeners that's listening, please visit our catalog. We have step-by-step approaches through this. We've even had some people question if there's enough spiritual information on this podcast, and I like to bring to the point that, again, our focus on the spiritual aspect or the spiritual level is four main components, which is Trust, Faith, Non-judgment and Gratitude. A lot of the people that are looking for more of a so-called spiritual overtone, they're really looking for ceremony or they're looking for ritual. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's useful too, but here we don't get as much into that because we celebrate everybody's types of ceremonies and rituals that, you know, are in alignment with their wellness.
[00:15:44] So, we want certain aspects of this philosophy to be open to individual interpretation while giving a guide of how to actually work with these five levels, especially this emotional level. And as you said earlier, you were kind of a chronic worrier in your 20s and you've learned to process some of this stuff in a different way over the last seven years, but it's been i'm sure a gradual process. It's a type of maturing, because again, when people are used to being emotionally reactive, sometimes they feel like if they're not then they won't get recognized. They won't get taken seriously. And again, this means that you're attempting to communicate maybe not with the optimal people if that's the only way they want to communicate. I love that we're bringing this up, especially in the first part. We're going to expand so much more in the full conversation. So please join us there. I'm very much enjoying everything that you're sharing so far, and I hope our listeners are connecting to it.
[00:16:41] Aaron: Yeah, and I wanted to bring in one more thing before we go to the Complete Conversation. A lot of different ways that people process has been brought to my attention as far as like people on the autism spectrum and different syndromes and functions, and stuff like that. And I see people struggle with these things and they just want a label so they can understand what it is that's happening to them. And some people are, it's just because they want a pill or a way to quickly fix. But a lot of these I see as either being part of somebody's design and how they interact with energy, or emotions, or just how they're created. And knowing the J.U.S.T. Philosophy, I see that there's a lot of the tools and techniques that we have to offer that would help a lot of these people, whether they're just not able to emotionally communicate when they're feeling something and it just builds up too much and until it explodes and that can be labeled as some sort of part of the spectrum.
[00:17:40] You know, I've taken a test and according to the test, I would be closer to the autism spectrum with some of the ways that I interact. Like, even when we do this podcast, it's kind of funny, I can't have both earplugs in because I get too internal. The whole outside world gets shut off if I have things covering my ears, which is, you could say, part of the autism spectrum. But outside of the labels, I see it as just how we interact with energy. How we interact with our emotions. How we express ourselves. Everything does come down to energy, and a lot of the things that we offer here within the J.U.S.T. Philosophy, I can see as helping different aspects of this. And of course, If you feel like you need to seek out professional help, we're not against that. I just feel like these are things that you can try, but they have to be done consistently. That's the thing. A lot of people are looking for the quick fixes. You may not see progress until you seriously put them into practice over, you know, a couple weeks. Then you might notice, but again, like we've talked about on past episodes, it might uncover some trauma that you have and then you may feel worse.
[00:18:47] So, it is just an active participation that you have to have and interest and accountability in your own health on five of these levels and a consistency of effort that you have to put in if this is an interest of yours. So, I just wanted to mention that because I have kind of retroactively gone back to even parts of myself that I've struggled with, that could then be put on this spectrum that I feel like I've overcome. And so, never feel powerless out there and like you're a victim to these things, because they are a part of you and the sooner that you accept them as being just a part of who you are, and how you interact, and how you were created to interact on this plane, you then have the conscious choice to adjust the way that they affect your life.
[00:19:32] Alexander: Yes. That was all very well said, and I wanted to remind everybody in closing this first part that, you know, it basically takes three weeks to make or break a pattern. Practice every day. The consistency is very important. And then, three months to create a lifestyle change. So see, this is why structure and discipline is so important for the first three months. But once you get to a certain point with any issue, it becomes part of your being. I know that so many people just think that "Oh, I'm going to have to struggle with this the rest of my life," and that's not necessarily the case. It takes three weeks to make or break a pattern and then three months to create a new lifestyle change.
[00:20:16] Aaron: We appreciate you joining us on this free episode. Looking forward to you joining us for the Complete Conversation. And are going to cover some of these tools and techniques that we've discussed on how to help you if you are struggling with anxiety, stress, worry, or even anger, frustration, guilt or shame. Those are just some of those negative emotions that we all struggle with but we're going to get more into that on the other side.
[00:21:06] Aaron: Thank you for joining us on the Complete Conversation side of this conversation. I'm so grateful to be here with Alexander and all you fine people out there.
[00:21:18] Alexander: Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the conversation.
[00:21:21] Aaron: So, Alexander, the more I do this work, the harder it is to see people who struggle. And it's not even like wanting to help them because I know the answers, it's knowing that there is a process there that would help them and that if they could just stick to a practice and have the discipline to do it. Like, that's the level that I am at now where it's not just I want to help everybody, it's just seeing the benefit of the practice of the doing will yield you those results. You just got to stick to it long enough to then see the benefits of it all.
[00:21:56] Alexander: Yeah, and I hear this very, very often. This that you just expressed. See, in the beginning, when you start learning this type of work or other types of maybe self enhancement work, everybody wants to share the knowledge, like right away. And many times it does come from the ego of wanting to be recognized or wanting approval, wanting validation, that kind of thing. But then it does kind of shift into it getting harder and harder to just seeing people suffer and feeling like you might have some information that could be useful to them if they could only do this or see that.
[00:22:32] But what I like to suggest when we're at this particular point is; those of you that are at the beginning, It's very important to practice silence and getting to a point to where you don't have that urge to correct people, or save them, or fix them. People really start listening to you more when you're able to be at a place of neutrality, and that is a practice within itself. And then once you get to that neutrality, many times you back off the intensity of necessarily wanting to help, but then it comes that next level of seeing people that you care about suffer and feeling like if they would just do this, do that. And what I like to say at this stage is it's very useful to reflect, and as soon as you see something that someone else should or could do, to right away take that internally and say, "Okay, where am I not operating optimally?" Because this is why this person's coming into my view and I'm having this judgment. I can annihilate this judgment and get rid of it by finding an area in myself to use this recognition as inspiration. Then that will create, typically, people to start asking more questions. Because, again, it's about the energy that you're generating and when people come and want to help, and want to teach, and want to preach, there's a pushing energy that comes with that, and most people don't like being pushed.
[00:23:59] So, I love the stage that you're at and, you know, you have come so far in these seven years or throughout your whole life, but this stage of being at this point to really struggling, maybe whether to say something or not to say something, I like to share it helps sometimes to just share your own story or maybe share your own struggle, you know, and I think I can see that with addicts sometimes. If a present addict can talk to a past addict, they feel like they can connect, they can relate and they see that there's actually hope and success here. And that can be whether it's with food or whether it's with emotional integrity or whatever it is, again, looking to be the example rather than the teacher or the preacher
[00:24:45] Aaron: So, the anxiety, the stress, and the worry that plagues us on a daily basis for most of us, I wanted to first get into, like, the flip side of that. What does life look like without this? Because many people probably don't know. Maybe from your own experience, Alexander, what does a life with very minimal anxiety, stress, and worry look like and then we can get into also the other emotions that end up ruling our lives because we don't have the conscious choice if we don't practice the management of them where anytime somebody triggers our anger, we just become angry and we don't have that pause in place to have the choice to not become angry. So, what's the opposite side of that? What does that look like on a daily basis? Just so the people out there can see just a view of what life can be like once they start putting this into practice and consistently doing it.
[00:25:39] Alexander: Well, one thing right off the bat is peacefulness and contentment. And most people in our culture don't really have a concept of what that is because we've basically been taught to chase happiness or chase success, to chase something, when there's nothing really that needs to be chased. Anyone can choose to be fully present where they're at and they will see over time that life comes to you. And we help people to find that individual way that it works through the Human Design and the Destiny Card system to get very specific about the processes. Here we talk a little bit more in general.
[00:26:18] And like recently I had someone question in a kind way, an interesting way, why I didn't procure more monetary gain, why I didn't seek out more notoriety. I really didn't take it offensively at all. It was such a great moment of sharing and reflecting, because I have had that experience of chasing the goals, chasing the dream, chasing what other people called success. And then I started realizing that most people don't even realize that emotions are a choice. Most people think they're victims to their emotion or more so even victim to other people or other situations and they don't have a choice. They don't realize that they choose to get angry. Somebody can't make them angry. There is a choice there. So that's the very beginning, is just seeing that no one is likely to have any peace or contentment not knowing that they have a choice of whether to get angry or sad or mad or any of those so-called negative emotions. So once you realize that you do have a choice, and you start implementing the techniques and the tools of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy, and there's other views and philosophies out there that people have found help from. But again, the key point is that consistency.
[00:27:38] So see, the measuring success, or measuring love, or measuring even hatred, or something that is negative, see, it's an individual thing and it's very challenging to measure. So what is successful for me, may not be necessarily in someone else's view as success. So see, accepting that on a very ground level is very important as well. To see that most people are trying to measure up to somebody else's measure of something, and you're never going to find peace and contentment in that. And many times this gets established in childhood to where the kid can't get the father or the mother's or either one of them's approval. So they go out in the world constantly trying to get approval. And there's not going to be peace or contentment in that. One needs to find a way to find out what their level of success really is. For some people it's money, for some people it's family, some people it's time, some people it's friendships. It can be very many different things, but I don't think that many people pause to really think of, "What will I experience and feel successful?" and that's success oriented thinking.
[00:28:50] And so then things that you accomplish during the day through structure and discipline become motivators and they build your self-esteem. So see, as you go through these things that I'm talking about on a consistent basis, after three weeks, three months, three years, nine years, on into over a decade, these things that begin as a struggle become just part of who you are. And it's not an effort that necessarily has to be put in like it did in the beginning. So see, you're still exercising the same practices, but you're not having to put in the same level of work, and that allows you to just be content with where you're at while looking forward to whatever's to come. But there's no stress or there's no push on that.
[00:29:43] So again, this doesn't have to rely on how much money you have in the bank, or how many kids you have, or how successful you see your relationships, all of this is about truly dissecting that view of success. And I really think this would be a good practice because for me, success was when I could live life basically debt free, and I can only do the things that I want to do, which is being of service to people. Which I do approximately five different things. I teach classes, I do performances, I do energy and sound work, and I do consulting work. And I do this podcast. But see, all of those fit under the same umbrella. So every day, I'm doing things that I elect to do rather than things that I feel like is being forced on me. And then I helped to raise two wonderful children and now they're 30 years old and they have been able to buy property, have successful jobs, and be very well suited in their environment.
[00:30:46] And so, for me, when I could have my complete livelihood doing only the things that I enjoy doing on my own schedule, and I could raise two other human beings to be successful at that point by 30 years old, then to me, that was always my dream. If I could help young people, my children, and then I could satisfy myself with what I do to make my living, then I call that success. But when people see where I live, in a very frugal but temple like place for myself, and what I drive, they may not necessarily view me as successful in that way. But see, I stopped chasing material things many, many years ago. I don't judge people that do, because again, some people are here to have more of the material world experience. I just went through enough life to where chasing that material gain was not bringing me happiness. What it was, in me, was the intimacy in my relationships. So being successful with raising my sons and an intimate relationship and being able to provide services to people to make a difference in this world. So starting there, with "What can I check off once I complete as a success?" And I think that's a great place to start is just what one sees as successful.
[00:32:08] Aaron: I think death plays a role in helping people see this, if they're not doing this work. When there's a death they stop and they're able to get grounded and appreciate every moment that they have for those like three days, or however many that they're mourning, and then eventually life just picks back up and they get sucked back into the machine. But there is that kind of period of time where people are able to see things differently, where they are content in what they have, because they're reminded that everything is temporary. And that's kind of the perspective that we're talking about, in a way. Where, as you do this work, you choose contentment because you bring in gratitude. You shift your focus from what you're chasing to what you have, and like you talked about, from there, then you're not always chasing the next high or chasing the next dollar or whatever it is. And, even getting into what we're chasing, some people may deflect that and say, "Oh, I'm not chasing anything," but even looking at our Human Design and our Destiny Cards can reveal what you're set up to chase, even on an energetic level. Like, for me, I'm set up to chase whatever I deem that has value, and normally that would be money in this society and that is what I did early in my teens and my twenties and my thirties. And I still have that, but it's also... I have a high level of creativity, so I kind of merged the two.
[00:33:40] But now as you can see, the way I deem success in my eyes is very similar to yours, Alexander. Where I've kind of been shifting my life to live more frugally because I want to be able to be creative more, and whatever creative projects I want to do. Because that's how I'm made, but also that is success to me, is being able to just be more free in my schedule with creativity and not have somebody telling me how I need to be creative, in that aspect.
[00:34:12] Alexander: Yes, and, you know, an important part I wanted to bring in here is that, see, emotions can stimulate creativity. And a lot of our art in the world, whether it be music or painting or whatever, was stimulated most of the time from so-called negative emotions. But stress is the annihilator of creativity.
[00:34:34] So see, there is a difference between just experiencing an emotion and then experiencing stress, which is an accumulation or a consistent experience of a same or similar emotions, is basically what I'm going to give as my definition at this point, of stress. And so, see, it comes back to the consistency and how long the duration that we go through that. Because, see, again, we are emotional beings and this philosophy supports us being that emotional being. Even to the point to where it's one-fifth of our whole makeup and it's just as important as any of the other four parts. So see, we want to be clear that it's very important to process and to move through emotions. But see, that is resolving stress and that's what we're talking about here is the actual processing of emotions rather than letting them pile up and turn into stress.
[00:35:28] Aaron: Yeah, you were talking about how stress diffuses creativity. Let's just quickly talk about the second chakra and how it's also tied into our sexual health and worry. Because in a lot of relationships, especially marriages, you know, when two partners are stressed, when things aren't flowing, when there's resistance going on, externally or internally within the relationship, the sexual connection can stop. And then that kind of begins like a slow degradation because there's no longer vulnerability on the physical level. So talk about how like stress and worry plays a role in that.
[00:36:03] Alexander: Yeah, well see in that second chakra, or the sacral center just below the navel, that's where we carry our creative energy, our sexual energy, and the emotion worry. And if a person isn't being creative in their life, and they don't have a healthy sex life, then the default is that person is going to worry. So see, those three energies being very similar, they have to be burned off some way. And that's why, many times, couples can get in arguments, and then somehow wind up having sex, and then they forget what they were even arguing about. And many times, a creative person can get into a job or relationship that restricts that creativity, and then they start getting irritable, and they start worrying about money, and worrying about who they are as a person, and that kind of thing. So, it's a very delicate dance and to see it all as energy is very, very important. That it's not necessarily all these different types of experiences, it's that they carry a similar type of energy.
[00:37:09] So the key here is; if you catch yourself worrying, go do something creative. Like right away. And again, our definition here of creativity is anything that's non repetitious. Anything that you're not used to doing. It doesn't have to be writing a song or doing a painting. It could be eating at a new restaurant or sitting in a different area of your home or on your patio or something like that. Change your position, change your perception kind of thing, and that's being creative. Just getting up instead of sitting on the couch worrying, you get up and you go for a walk out in your yard or to a park or something like that. So see, it's about stimulating that energy in an intentional way to burn it off so that you don't worry. And if you're in a healthy sexual relationship, then by all means, you know, reach out to your partner to connect in that way and see if that helps to burn that energy off.
[00:38:00] It's all about not allowing the energy to turn into any type of perversion, and that typically happens when there's some kind of restriction connected to it. I'm glad that you brought that up because that is very common in our culture. I hear people say all the time that they're not creative. They will just say that to me. I'll say, "What was the last thing you did creative?" "Oh, I'm not a creative person," and then the more we talk, they'll find out that they're not close to their partner anymore, and so they don't have a healthy sex life. And so then right away, that gives me a very clear picture that this person worries a lot and so that's, of course, the direction we go in. But all of the negative emotions can be very draining on our energy field. But worry is one that normally people don't just worry a little bit here and there. Most people that, that do dabble in worry are chronic and very consistent about the worry which turns into stress.
[00:38:57] Aaron: I know many people have heard us talk about this, especially creativity a lot, but I implore people to go out there and do it. A lot of people listen to podcasts. They get the mental level, they absorb the information, but they don't take the step to actually take action and do it. And like-
[00:39:17] Alexander: it's in the doing.
[00:39:18] Aaron: I know. People, please. Go out and and try it and I'm telling you if you just skip to your car it just brings in a whole different energy. Even taking a different way to work or a store. I know you've mentioned that before and I've tried it and it does! You're like activating a part of your brain that is outside the subconscious because you don't know where you are, so everything's new. And maybe you see a little shop that piques your interest, or a new restaurant that you didn't know was there. it kind of creates a new path in your life in a weird way, where you just stay in the subconscious, you know what you're expecting, and this just adds a fork in the road a little bit.
[00:39:56] Alexander: Yeah, and to realize that, we're habitual creatures, and so it's very easy to get into a habit, and then we can be lazy in that habit to just run on automaton, so to say. So that's the beauty of creativity, is it actually brings a person to the present moment. Because like you said, you've got to pay a little bit more attention if you go to work a different way than you normally do. You might still know that way pretty well, but It's not going to be just like your pattern that you've been doing for the last 10 years.
[00:40:25] And another one that I like to suggest is somebody to just eat with your offhand to whatever your dominant hand is. Just eat your next meal or your next few meals with your offhand and see how much more present you are. How you have to watch the food more. You smell it more. You taste it more just by changing the hand that you eat with. So a lot of these techniques and tools that we're talking about can be broken down into very, very simplistic practices to practice each day, so that when you have a major challenge, like maybe somebody, a sibling in your family or a father or mother that you really struggle with that makes you angry, then the next time that they say something derogatory to you, you can maybe choose a different path and how to deal with that. That's what driving to work a different way, eating with an offhand, practicing that every day in these little ways helps for that big situation when it comes up. And that's all we need to do in these negative emotions is choose a different response rather than just reacting. You see, when people react, they forget that they have an option. They forget they have a choice. In response, response typically comes after what we call the pause. Learn to pause before you do anything, before you say anything, before you act, and in that pause, many times, that can keep you from a reaction and able to respond in a different way and break that pattern.
[00:41:53] Aaron: I love where we're going with this because that transitions us into the next thing I want to talk about. We have this anxiety, this stress, this anger inside of us. What are the steps to getting ahead of it consciously? And I liked what you just brought in there, which is if we were if we're practicing creativity throughout the day, just little things, we're already practicing being out of the subconscious. So in a way, we're practicing being conscious. We're slowing everything down so that we are more ready for when an emotion pops up, or to recognize when we do have anxiety running in the background, or to recognize when we are feeling stressful. So, what is the process of, I guess, first recognizing it? Because we first need to recognize that we are in these emotions or that we are experiencing anxiety, and then we can then make a choice on what to do with that, with the next step. So let's go through that process to help people out there who are wanting to become more conscious in this process.
[00:42:54] Alexander: Well, where I want to start is in assessment of one's self. Most people do have an idea of something they enjoy in their life. For some people it's NASCAR. For some people it's [Woo!] Sports of other types. For some people it's working out, or it could be shopping. It could be many different things. But what I want to suggest is for a person to go have that experience and then consider all five of these levels, like how you feel spiritually. Maybe taking a nice salt bath with some nice essential oils and maybe some coconut oil in there, and you're really just letting the days drift away, float away. You're just there in that warm water feeling supported, feeling nurtured, and if you just go through, "What is this inspiring in me spiritually?" Then you go, "What is this making me think of mentally?" And then, "What emotion am I feeling here?" Is it elation? Is it happiness? Is it just contentment? Is it anything so called positive? Then I want to recognize that. And then just going past the physical body just a little bit, like maybe when you get out of the tub and you're drying off and you just stand there just soaking in that experience, how can you describe the feeling just outside of your skin? Then how relaxed does your body feel while you're doing that? If you can go through all five of those levels in something you really enjoy doing, then as soon as you get done with that, say the person goes to bed right after having that bath. Then the next morning, as soon as they get up, I would like to suggest to go back to that moment of getting out of that tub and feeling that, and this is the way that I'm going to start my day.
[00:44:44] And when we go from that position into our day, we're more aware of as soon as we start to feel aggravated, as soon as we feel offended, as soon as we feel anything different than that, we recognize it. But see, what most people do is they go to bed, they get up, they go to work, they come home, they eat dinner, they watch some TV, they go back to bed, and they just create this routine. And there's never a recognization of, "No, this is where I really want to be. This vibration is what I call success." So now, the practice is, "How am I going to carry this vibration through my day? Well, every time Tim comes up at work, I notice that my vibration changes. So, I either need to work to be not around Tim as much as I am, or I need to work in how to communicate with this person better so they don't have as much of an effect on me." So I think that's a great place to start, but that incentive is needed and that's why it's an individual thing and that people need to be honest with themselves of what really brings them as close to contentment as they can experience.
[00:45:49] Aaron: That's a very good point because if people are living in a state of constant anxiety, then their constant anxiety is their known state and there's nothing to compare it to. There's no baseline that they've taken mentally into their mind of what they're trying to achieve with their five levels. Again, they may not know they have five levels, but just in general, even in their, like, mental state, they may not have a time when they felt peace. Or maybe they think peace is something that's just like a random thing that just happens and you need to try to figure out how to get there. I mean, we have some tools and techniques on how to get there.
[00:46:28] And so let's say, we're setting a base level that we're going to start every day, and then that allows us to know when we're taken off that base level. And then let's say we realize that we have some sort of anxiety that's coming in and we can feel in our chest. But there's nothing that has just happened to connect that to. I mean, this happens to me every now and then. Not a lot, but every now and then, I'll just like notice that I have this like flutter in my chest and I'm just like, "What is this?" because nothing has just happened to me. Then I have to try to identify that. So, how would you suggest somebody to try to trace back where that's coming from?
[00:47:09] Alexander: Well, the very first thing to do is to realize that acceptance is so important at this stage. And see, most people that are stressed or they're in some kind of negative emotion, the last thing they want to do is accept it. The negative emotion wouldn't be there if you're accepting it. You're resisting it. And so, the first step of acceptance is, again, that doesn't mean that you're approving of or condoning the action or whatever is happening. It simply means you're going to stop your resistance to it.
[00:47:37] So, in that moment, for certain people, it's removing themselves from the situation. For some people they need to talk it out. It's different specific techniques for different people, but the main thing that you want to get back to is to see and remember that you do have a choice here. And in this situation, you might not have a choice of like your heart sputtering or your heart racing or even tightness in your chest. I went through five years of that where I didn't think that I had an option in it, but the option is to accept that that's what's there right now. And you know, if you need to get medical attention, of course, we want to support that. But the majority of time when people have things, whether it's heart racing, or palpitations, or some chest pain, the majority of the time it is stress related and not a health issue.
[00:48:24] So, again, I had to learn for that specific thing in the chest, to accept that it's there, it's going to be there for however long it is, and it's going to move through. And with me, I look at that from an emotional standpoint in general. Some days I get up and I can just feel a heaviness or a sadness, but I've worked with it long enough to know that within 24 hours, if I accept that, it's going to move through and the next 24 hours is going to bring a different experience. If that lasts into the second day, that's proof that I didn't accept what was truly going on.
[00:48:59] There's an art to this acceptance. Like, if you're going to throw a party and then two hours before the party, it starts clouding up and looks like it's going to rain, most people will go into resistance and they'll get angry. But you can't control the weather. So you can either adapt the party, you can cancel the party. You can do many different things. You can even still have a good time. There's so many options, but see, people get stuck in, "If I can't get exactly what I want, then I'm going to be in resistance." Acceptance is about adapting, and it's not the strongest that will survive. It's not the smartest that will survive. It's the one that can adapt. And that's not my saying, but it's an ancient proverb that I really resonate with, because seeing that the power's in that adaptability. And when I can find some acceptance, even when I'm in resistance, it annihilates and smooths over that resistance, then I'm able to see more clearly the action to take to make sure that this doesn't happen again.
[00:49:59] When I'm in that state, this state of getting out of the panic part, then we can go back and look at what did this remind me of? See, that's if you have a mental connection of something that just happened. Then you might be able to connect it to somebody or something from your past. But if something just comes out of the blue like that, you might not necessarily have a mental connection to connect it with in the past. It's just something that's a process that needs to move through.
[00:50:28] Aaron: So something recently that I can connect this experience to is I had to go to the DMV, get my new license, and register my car in a new state. Nobody wants to do that. Like, that's something you just don't want to do. So obviously, I had resistance to it because I didn't want to do it. But I had a certain day that I was planning on doing it, and as it got closer, it's just always on my mind, I have to do this, you know. If you were in my position, how would you work through that? Like, it comes into my chest as a reminder that I'm trying to remember I have to do it and it's upcoming and you're going to have to go out in public and be social and be around people. And have to, like, prove yourself to the state, you know what I mean? Like, that's the part that I, that I have resistance to, but I know I have to do it.
[00:51:09] Alexander: Sure, and this is where being creative becomes so important. This is also where we can learn from children. That children can be taken to something that they don't want to be part of, but they find a way to find something enjoyable to do. And that's what I want to bring more into adults, is that okay, I gotta go do this, so you know what? I'm going to put off a so-called positive energy, because in most DMVs and places, all the stuff that you're talking about, the energy is normally pretty low in those areas. So, if you go in with that intention, and that I'm going to attempt to put a smile on whoever's face that I come in contact with by complimenting something about them or something like that or making a joke about the weather or something. And I'm going to make this fun rather than a labor. And this is an area, for most people that are doing self development work, there's an interest in being of service of some type. And one of my great teachers taught me that you're not truly in service unless nobody knows what you're truly doing. And that changed the way that I approached how I could have an effect on somebody sitting behind the DMV by something that I might say or do. But here's the key. If they don't respond back the way that you want, you are prepared and you don't allow that to diminish your light. Because again, everybody's not going to receive what you have to give. But we need to go in with the intention of, I'm going to attempt to have a different vibrational experience here, and this can be directed by what I say or what I do, and it's not dependent on how the other person responds. But if it is received, and the response is well, then see, that can be food for you.
[00:52:54] So the main thing is to know when to take the energy in, and then when to let it bypass you. People that want to stay stuck in their vibration, blah, blah, blah, see, these people, they're working behind the desk, they might have been there for 20 years. They're not looking to have a good day at work. So, it doesn't matter how kind you are, how funny you are, anything. It's not for them. Once again, it's for yourself and we're most of service when we're doing something for ourselves and somebody else or those around you reap the rewards through the ripple, the energetic ripple that's going out, and you're able to hold your space and stand in your power because it's not determined on how it's received. That's the beauty. Again, love is just giving. You give love. If you give love and look for something in return, you may want to call that something else. That's not love.
[00:53:43] Aaron: That's a great point. And something like that did happen, even though it wasn't conscious. I had an alarm go off on my phone while I was there, and right when she was asking me, like, for my specs. How tall are you? How much you weigh? And I said, I said, I said I was 6'7 and, and she's like, " 6'7?" and I'm like, "Oh no, 5'7". So we laughed about that for a while. And then, in Tennessee, where you get your license is different from where you register your car. You go to two different places. So, I was a little creative with the license plate that I got. I've never been a personalized license plate person. I didn't get the number personalized, but I did get a save the honeybees license plate, which some of the money goes to teaching little kids why bees are important. So, I was a little creative in that aspect, and it didn't end up being as drab because there was that little break in the energy. So, just having that experience, I can back up what you're saying. But if I could set my perspective in that way where I'm going to go, I'm going to have a good time, and I'm going to enlighten this person's day. Not forcing it, but like you're saying if they don't respond then they're not open to it, and that's cool too. But just to break the energy up, because do have somewhat of a monotonous job, and yeah, if they've been there 20 years, it's just, they're just there, you know.
[00:54:56] Alexander: Biding their time.
[00:54:57] Aaron: Yeah, exactly.
[00:54:58] Alexander: So even if nothing else, when you leave the DMV, skip to your car. And see if you don't get a different energy. That skip to the car can be just that you're grateful that that's not your job. It's not a judgment on their job, it's just that that area or whatever, there's always something that can be celebrated and appreciated. And that's the thing that keeps us in that higher vibration. That's the gratitude that we're talking about on that spiritual level. You have the opportunity to move to Tennessee, and yes, these are inconvenient things, but again, you have your health to do it. There's so many things that you can be grateful for. The freedom to go wherever you want to go. And too often, our culture gets caught into into however they're not getting their way. And of course, that isn't showing appreciation or gratitude.
[00:55:42] Aaron: Yeah, we're kind of at the end of this episode. I know we didn't go maybe as in depth, and of course, we've covered some of this in past episodes. What I feel like the most important thing for people to take away from this episode is... Resistance is the thing that causes a lot of these negative emotions and if we can root out or find where the resistance is that is causing us the anxiety, the worry, the anger, then we can adjust how our relationship is to that resistance. We can allow the energy to flow, and then that's gone. It doesn't exist anymore. It's just our limited view, and like you mentioned, us holding on to wanting something exactly how it is, if we allow more trust, that helps to alleviate some of that want. It doesn't mean that we're not going to get what we want, but it just may not be in the way that we feel like we're empowered to have.
[00:56:38] Alexander: A place to really start... anger is just one that's very popular right now in our culture and everything we've gone through since COVID and governmental stuff and things like that. And to realize that anger is normally stimulated by a difference of opinions. If you're seeking peace and contentment, somebody else's different opinion should not challenge your opinion if your opinion is truly your knowing. See, if it's just a belief, if it's just a concept, people will go to war over their concepts. But somebody that truly knows something, they're not going to go to a point to fight somebody that has a different view. Because, again, this is the plane of polarity. It's our second pillar that opposites have to exist on this planet. So as soon as I run into somebody that has a different view than me, see, I'm able to accept that because I know it has to exist. And I've have proven that the less force that I use to try to change that person's perception, the more likely they are to be interested in changing that perception in due time.
[00:57:44] So again, anger is a really good one to start with to see that you're probably not as clear in the subject that you feel so passionate about as you pretend that you are. And so anger is a good sign that you need to go back and reevaluate what you're attempting to defend.
[00:58:01] Aaron: So in wrapping up, if somebody wants to start putting what we've discussed in motion, what's something easy that they can take with them after listening.
[00:58:11] Alexander: Well, I think, first of all, is come up with one to three things that you really enjoy doing and then schedule that into your week, at least once a week. At least once a week, please more. But to have that zero point to go back to of, "Yes, this is where I really want to reside," and every time I go back into the world, I'm going to check myself every time I catch myself experiencing negative emotions, and I'm going to work to use the Three R's to recognize it, to learn to respect it, which is to stop the judgment, to accept it, and then to redirect the energy in a way that takes me more towards that vibration that I like.
[00:58:53] So this may sometimes mean that certain people that have approval issues really have to work on what's successful for yourself. And then others are going to see other things as successful. So take their opinions, their judgments as just that they care enough to give that opinion, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to it, and it doesn't mean that their opinion is more important than the way that you're looking at it.
[00:59:18] So, a lot of this is just around approval issues in general, most negative emotions, and to see that if you are going to work towards some peace or some contentment, to realize through the laws of polarity, that opposites have to exist, different views have to exist, and the more that we can lean into that and appreciate those different views without needing to defend it, more than likely means that you're more centered and clear in that subject.
[00:59:46] Aaron: Thank you all for joining us on episode 140 of the Wise Whys podcast.
[00:59:51] Alexander: Much love, everybody.