We travel back in time again to the week before the initial family gathering (in episode 1) where Stevie meets her neighbor Rio for the first time and they exchange gifts and conversation about the metaphysical and life philosophy wisdom. Topics such as manners, giving, receiving, karma, saying ‘I’m sorry’, and respect were among the main themes discussed in depth.
Story written by: Alexander
Story read by: Elena Maggio
Music by: Alexander
[00:00:20] Aaron: Welcome, welcome back, Soul Fam. We appreciate you making the choice to fill up some of your time with the audible waves of wisdom of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy. There are so many areas you could have placed your energy, but here you are, choosing to enrich your life and continue down your journey toward consciousness.
[00:00:40] This is, of course, one of the first steps, making those tough choices and your growth a priority in your life. And you've done it. Congratulations.
[00:00:50] Now in this fourth edition of the Inward Journey series, we are going to rewind the timeline again and go back before the initial family gathering. Back to when Stevie initially met her new neighbor Rio. Now we've heard Rio's name before, as Stevie reflected on their meeting toward the end of the last episode, as she attributed some of her subconscious redirecting to possibly something she picked up from our first meeting with Rio.
[00:01:17] Now as you engage in the story in our initial discussion, consider the life changing perspectives, tools, and techniques that this podcast and the J.U.S.T. Philosophy has provided you over the last four and a half years and ask yourself, is this information worth my monetary support? Consider being the change you wanna see in the world and support our time and energy that we give to this podcast and reward yourself with the complete conversation of every past, present, and future episode. It's our new premium subscription that provides you with hundreds of hours of our discussions to assist you on your journey of growth. And what could be better than your journey. Now, if you were all in with us, head over to wisewhyspodcast.com and click on the get complete link in the main menu.
[00:02:07] As much as this journey is an internal one, it's not as much fun going at it alone. Having a community of like-minded individuals on the same path toward a more conscious life is such a blessing. And lot of growth in our community definitely comes from you all sharing it with your tribe. So now let's gather everyone up and let's all inward journey together.
[00:02:31] Storyteller: Wise Whys - Inward Journey
[00:02:41] Episode Four: Meet The Neighbors
[00:02:47] Days before the family gathering discussed in the first three previous episodes, Stevie had noticed a moving van in her neighbor’s driveway as she was finishing up washing dishes on a warm Wednesday evening. She looked at the clock above the sink, "Huh. 6:20. It’s still early enough for a friendly visit," she says out loud.
[00:03:03] She looked around, grabbed a candle, some herbal tea, and a few gemstones from the windowsill. She took it all to the kitchen table, found a nice little decorative bag with some pink tissue, put it all together nicely, tied a bow with some gold ribbon and just like that, a welcome to the neighborhood gift bag.
[00:03:22] As Stevie made her way towards the back door, she paused to leave Stan a note on the fridge. “Hey babe, I’m going to say hi to the new neighbors. Be back soon. Love and kisses”.
[00:03:32] As Stevie walked down the steps leading to her back yard, she noticed someone hanging plants in the back of the neighbor’s house. The two properties were connected by a gate in the corner. Stevie walked up to the fence and said “Hi neighbor, welcome to our community. Do you mind if I bring this gift bag over? I don’t mean to bother you, I just thought I would introduce myself.”
[00:03:54] With a mild accent that Stevie couldn’t quite place, the neighbor replies “Yes, yes, please join me. Welcome Kind One. Please be my guest, my very first guest. I’ve been waiting for you to arrive.”
[00:04:06] As Stevie opened the gate joining the two yards and stepped through, she was met with a big and powerful hug and a kiss on each cheek.
[00:04:13] “Hello, my name is Rio." With a strength yet a softness immediately noticed by Stevie.
[00:04:20] “Hello, I’m Stevie, here’s a little something for you. Are you moving here by yourself?”
[00:04:26] Rio replied, “Oh no dear, my partner Haven had a meeting to go to this evening. You will meet them soon. We are a package deal”.
[00:04:33] Rio continues “Please join me on my porch so I can open your gift. Would you like something to drink, stevie?”
[00:04:40] Stevie blurting out without a pause “No thanks, please don’t bother. Sooooo, what brings you to this area, where are you from, what do you do for a living, do you have kids or animals???”
[00:04:51] Rio chuckled lightly, “You are quite the inquisitive one, aren’t you?”
[00:04:55] “Oh, I’m sorry” Stevie replies.
[00:04:58] Without hesitation Rio said “No worries, I tell you what, let’s play question for question. But first I would like to call to your attention that phrase you just used, 'I’m sorry'. You may not realize what that is saying to your subconscious. There’s nothing sorry about you, however I do accept your apology and I appreciate your consideration."
[00:05:21] Without hesitation, "Blessings," Rio exclaims. “Look at this gift, a candle for my tub, mint tea to help stimulate my digestion, malachite for my heart, black tourmaline for my root, and selenite for cleansing.”
[00:05:37] "Wooooow," Stevie replies, "you know more about that stuff than I do. I’ve just recently started learning about organics and metaphysical stuff. My husband, Stan thinks I’m a little coo coo”, as she releases an insecure laugh.
[00:05:51] Rio follows with, “I knew we were Soul Family. My life revolves around this lifestyle. We have lots to talk about. But Later… Later… You go first, what is your first question, stevie?”
[00:06:05] “What brought you here?”
[00:06:07] Rio replied, "Well, we Recognized it was time for a change. We Respected each other through conscious communication, and we Redirected our daily routine towards the change we both wanted. And here we are.”
[00:06:21] Rio asked, "Who are you?"
[00:06:24] Stevie answered “Stevie Marie Winthrop.”
[00:06:28] Rio replied, “Interesting, that’s a lot of different roles to play. And do you happen to know your cosmic or astrological makeup?”
[00:06:36] Stevie looked at Rio with a slight confusion and a hollow stare. “Well, i’ve just learned I’m a Cancer. The crab I think, but I’m not really that crabby." As she laughs, "Although Stan may disagree with that statement."
[00:06:50] Rio says, “Never mind, more on all that later. What’s your next question?”
[00:06:54] “Where are you from?”
[00:06:55] Rio exclaimed, "Ahhhh, Mother Earth and Father Sky. Remember Stevie, we are all family."
[00:07:04] Rio asked her next question, “What are you passionate about? What lights your Soul on fire? What do you ponder or do when you are alone?"
[00:07:13] Stevie pauses starring into space, slowly she replied, “Our questions and answers are so different… I could stay here and listen to you talk all night. And to answer your question… I don’t know. Sadly, I don’t know anymore. Maybe, working with kids in some manner. I really don’t know”. Stevie was showing signs of embarrassment.
[00:07:35] Rio gently replied, “That’s ok. Many people have lost their passion."
[00:07:40] As Rio reached to turn the outside lights on, both Stevie and Rio were quiet. An airplane flew over, extending the pause just a few more seconds. In that moment of stillness, they both looked at each other and just smiled.
[00:07:58] Stevie, breaking the silence, “I do want to ask you your point of view on something. I know we just mm.. met but I feel like you may be able to help me see a different perspective with Stan’s mom.”
[00:08:10] Stevie continues… “No more mundane questions from me tonight. Thank you and thank you for your kindness and patience with me. You’re like a breath of fresh air after pollen season. Before I share about Stan’s mom Louise, could I ask you to share something you feel would be useful for me to hear? Is that a weird question?”
[00:08:31] Rio smiles and with prayer hands at their chest and shares, “Much unhappiness follows those that don’t know Who they are. They are not aware of all the different roles they shift between daily or how they were Cosmically designed to fit in this world. This can lead to a loss of passion on many levels and the cause of much of the frustration people experience. But more on all this later, we call this the 3 Questions towards Being your Authentic Self.”
[00:08:58] Stevie sat in silence with prayer hands at her chest thanking Rio for her words of wisdom.
[00:09:05] As the night got darker, the moon was full and lightning bugs were abundant. Rio and Stevie continued their conversation back and forth as Stevie began sharing about Louise, Stan and the upcoming family weekend. She shared the challenges she faces with both Louise and Stan when they are together or when Louise comes up in a conversation.
[00:09:25] Rio’s responses were kind, supportive and relatable while providing a glimmer of hope for the situation. Stevie felt bits of dread for the upcoming weekend dissipate more and more as Rio shared.
[00:09:38] Hours had passed, however time seemed to stand still for Stevie as she was amazed by the depth and original beauty of this new friend she had stumbled upon.
[00:09:47] Rio pauses after saying “well Haven should be arriving very soon”.
[00:09:52] Stevie suddenly realized the time, stands up, hugs Rio’s neck and says, “Oh, I hope I haven’t overstayed my welcome." and begins to leave.
[00:10:02] As she walks down Rio’s steps to the yard, she turns around and pauses, walking backwards with prayer hands at her chest, not knowing how to reciprocate what she had just experienced.
[00:10:14] Rio blows a kiss and Stevie turns and continues home.
[00:10:22] Aaron: Wow. So we finally get to meet the mysterious Rio, who has shown up in a few episodes already.
[00:10:28] Alexander: Mm-hmm. Yes.
[00:10:29] Aaron: And she's turned out to be the wizard that Stevie mentioned in the last episode. So it's real interesting to see where Stevie has been getting this information from, and then because this episode goes back in time before the first episode, before the meeting of the entire family. [Mm-hmm] And now we can go back in our memory and see the little bit of influence that she's had in every episode so far.
[00:10:54] Alexander: Yeah. And I think that's a good introduction and we're seeing right away, I think, some of the influence that Rio has initially on Stevie and in a good way. These two people are the main focus of this whole episode, and I think it's really neat how, when the third party's brought in to talk about Louise, the focus isn't really on that. Although I think it plays a role to be helpful in the past episodes, it's really about the connection between them two. And that we can have a tendency to talk about third parties or third party conversations. And I think this is a good example of bringing it back to, "Let's keep the conversation between you and I and about you and I." Although she's able to be helpful, I do feel.
[00:11:39] Aaron: So right off the bat, we can see that Stevie is obviously very new at this type of thing. And she has had some influence before this, because she had gemstones, she was into herbs. And that kind of all goes together with this [Mm-hmm], as you get more natural you start to bring in more natural things, and even if it's on the subconscious level or the subtle energies of it. And she grabbed all these things, made a gift bag and then went over to meet Rio, and then was kind of nervous. She was talking really fast, got really excited and overwhelmed, it seemed like. And possibly even in an ungrounded way, she kind of was in that joy, that positive emotion that we like to bring up from time to time that emotions are not just all negative.
[00:12:28] Alexander: Yes. And I think this is very common and a lot of people can relate to. That when initially meeting somebody, sometimes people will over talk will overact, and these are defense mechanisms as well. Because normally when somebody wants to talk a lot, they're concerned about the questions coming at them. I hope this is relatable to lot of our listeners to realize that many times we think we're being ourselves, but we're really acting out of a defense mechanism or a past trauma. And I think that's what Rio shows a very fine grace and finesse in working with Stevie and possibly to help ground her in a passive way. Because she does finally come to that stillness point throughout the evening. But at the same time, she doesn't seem to feel judged by Rio and I think that's very important to point out.
[00:13:21] Aaron: And in her energy of all that, we saw some of her manners come out, which was the needing to gather a gift and give a gift. Not saying there's anything bad about that, [Sure] but it is a manner thing that's in our culture to do. I guess even if it's an approval thing. It might be, for her to feel approved of. You give something, so you get a reaction back. But there was also her when asked if she wants a drink, she said, "No, I don't want to be a bother." And that hit deeply for me because I've done that all my life, where if somebody's asked me, " Do you want something?" And instead of really checking in deeply whether that's a yes or no, you just kinda like, "Oh no, no, no, I don't wanna bother you. I don't want to inconvenience you." [Right.]
[00:14:01] And of course, that seems like a nice thing to do that you don't want to inconvenience someone, but you're also cutting off your Authentic Self I feel like. Cuz what if you saying, "Oh yeah, I would love a drink!" And then that was supposed to open up some other avenue where you learned about this new herbal drink that would help you with some health condition that you have. You don't know what that's stopping, right?
[00:14:24] Alexander: Yes. And this is like a pattern because. I really want people to pay attention here to the act of receiving. And most givers want to give, but they're not comfortable receiving. See, Stevie wanted in this situation for this unknown person to receive her gift, but if Rio seems to be a giving person too- and sometimes we don't realize that there is a joy that comes out of being received. And so, although I'm glad you brought the word manners in- because yes, she's a giver, but she doesn't wanna receive to inconvenience anybody. But yes, she may have blocked a flow of energy that was naturally happening and she, at this point, still doesn't have any idea what would've been offered. It could have been just a plain glass of water, or it sounds like Rio's into some really cool teas and just different things like that with her lifestyle, that could have opened up new doors like you were talking about. So people pay attention that if you enjoy giving then please practice receiving.
[00:15:26] Aaron: Yeah. We've even done an episode on this, where we brought in karma. That was such a great episode for anybody wanting to look more into this. I've always been a giver and didn't want to receive anything. We're not talking about, like you wanting to over receive. There's a, necessary balance here in the order and if you believe in anything like karma, somebody has to receive or, for you to pay or anybody to pay their karma, somebody has to be on the receiving end.
[00:15:53] Alexander: Yes. And even outside of karma it's just natural human reciprocation. And to see that there is a balance between the give and take and why polarity is one of the second pillars of this work in that, anything that's created, its opposite has to be created. So all of us givers need to take time to make sure that we are receiving.
[00:16:16] And another thing that's mentioned here is prayer hands in front of the chest. And this was a physical practice that I created for myself for many years to learn to receive. It was a physical reminder when I had my hands in front of my chest- and sometimes I put it in prayer hands and sometimes it's just a simple ball- but what that is, is a physical reminder to me to receive while I'm engaged with somebody. And not just receive gifts but receive points of view. Receive their perception. And trust that that doesn't necessarily challenge my perception. Working with all the Five Levels of the Physical, the Mental, the Emotional, the Energetic, and the Spiritual- that was a physical thing that was created. And we will see, because I think Stevie's going to carry that motion with her and utilize it because it seemed to have somewhat of an effect on her when Rio introduced that to her.
[00:17:09] Aaron: So we could kind of say that the energy world is a team sport, right?
[00:17:14] Alexander: Yes, yes!
[00:17:15] Aaron: It's not just everybody out for themselves.
[00:17:17] Alexander: Absolutely. And karma Can be seen through that energetic exchange. And that the flow of energy is when there's both give and take there and neither one is perverted or out of balance. And that is very challenging for most any two people to truly have that beautiful reciprocation back and forth. Lots of times people are just playing roles. And many times givers will attract takers, and the takers don't take time to give back to the giver. And those two people can feel comfortable playing those roles, but eventually it's going to create an imbalance. And that's what happens down the road with a lot of these givers and takers that meet each other and resonate right away because the giver wants to be received and the taker wants to take. But eventually, normally with most people that becomes an imbalance or a perversion.
[00:18:07] Aaron: Another one of, what I felt like was Stevie's manners was apologizing right away for something that maybe didn't go the way that she planned. And I can't wait to get into this in the premium part, because even though it is something that we have discussed before, The "I'm sorry" thing is something that I love to discuss because it's something that many people never consider what it actually can mean or what you're really implying energetically.
[00:18:34] Alexander: Yes. It's been interesting to me for a long time. We've had these conversations and how the term "I'm sorry" ever got approved by somebody else as an apology, rather than "I apologize." It's a much different vibration, but it's also connected to why we drive on a Parkway and we park in a driveway. Somebody had to agree with whoever come up with these terms and here we are still using them. And they can be seen as oxymoronic. Not meaning that negative, but it was almost like somebody was playing a joke at one time, and then everybody agreed with them. So paying attention to not just our actions, but our words of what we are training our subconscious with is very important. And we are gonna break that down deeper and deeper in the following part of this episode.
[00:19:23] Aaron: And when they started getting into conversation, Rio asked Stevie who she is, and this is a big part of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy at the beginning, when you first start to get into this work, is defining who you are. And people aren't expected to know who they are at first, when we do introduce the three questions. And we do have an episode on that. When you learn them, it's not a quick, "Oh, I'm just Aaron. And here's what I do." It's a really deep thought out process because you almost need to start thinking about why you do certain things. What is it about those things that feeds you to do.
[00:19:59] Alexander: Yes. And that comes back to our three main questions of, "Who are you? What are you passionate about?" and "How do you exemplify that passion?" And that "Who are you?" does get into the different names that we are called. It's also connected to our astrological makeup. And so, I know people that have up to five or more names, be it nicknames mate, being husband, wife, mother, whatever it is, little surnames, and most of the time, people don't realize that they have to put on a different role depending on who's calling on them. And that the more of those names that you go by, the more roles you're constantly playing, and this is energetically exhausting. And why many years ago, I just chose to go by Alexander. It's not that I'm ashamed of my last name, Tuttle, but more consistent with people just calling me Alexander. I'm very consistent in how I'll respond to that person.
[00:20:58] Every now and then, because my first name is Scott, my family, and some of the people from my past will call me by that name. And now I've been away from it so long that I just don't resonate with it. I will answer, but it's so funny when you really get down to what you resonate with when someone calls you. And I want people to understand that you have the right to direct that because you hear your name more than any other word throughout your life.
[00:21:24] And so how you resonate with what you're called or who you are is very, very important moving forward in this type of work.
[00:21:31] Aaron: And tied into that was when Rio also asked what you're passionate about and Stevie mentioned, "Oh, I like to be around children", but then she really couldn't put something to that. And I think that is something that many people struggle with in our culture today. We're so distracted by electronics, phones, and all that, that we don't really know what our passion is, or we're not living our Authentic Self or our best life.
[00:21:58] Alexander: Yes. This is certainly abundant in my private practice and in friends and family as well. It seems that people in our culture are passionate about what they want to do until the early twenties. And then most of them give up on the passion and they choose a direction. Whether that's college or it's the workforce or whatever it is. And then most people lose themselves in whatever that is. Becoming a provider or becoming so-called responsible. And we just wanna remind people that you don't have to give up on that passion to be responsible. To keep it alive in your studying, your thoughts, in your conversations. And here we see that Stevie was really almost embarrassed talking to Rio and not having a good answer for that. But I find that to be very, very common that most people can't answer. What are you passionate about or what lights your world on fire? And that's a question I enjoy asking people on a daily basis but it's not uncommon not to have an answer.
[00:22:56] Aaron: And I wanted to bring up the elephant in the room that, rio and you- kind of similar roles there?
[00:23:05] Alexander: It could be some similarities, as we've mentioned, that Stevie and your path could be similar. And so, these are all fictional characters, but at the same time, parts of Aaron and I, and our environment of course is gonna bleed into the writing, but hopefully Rio is going to be developed and described to be even beyond where I am. And that's part of the fun of the creativity of it. Just how effective Rio can be with people that interact with them. And then seeing that we're still yet to bring in their partner, Haven. And so the story's right around the corner to bring them to the forefront and see how things develop in more of a social type of situation.
[00:23:51] Aaron: Yeah. I'm really looking forward to seeing the ripple of information. How it goes to Stevie and then how it's applied, and how it influences everybody around her and whether it's for the good or for the negative.
[00:24:02] Alexander: Yes. And I think this is gonna be a great example of dropping the pebble in the pond and being able to watch the ripples. And that's why we've created these stories and hopefully people are gonna relate to many, many different characters and situations.
[00:24:16] Aaron: Thank you all for being a premium member!
[00:24:18] Alexander: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome.
[00:24:20] Aaron: We're gonna first start out with Stevie and her being infatuated with this new energy, this new way of looking at life. She's already gotten into the gemstones and the herbs, and she's really into everything Rio's saying. Obviously it reminds me a lot about myself when I was first into this. I remember being that like starry-eyed person. And, I remember just getting high off of being around people when I just wanted to keep consuming more and more and more.
[00:24:49] And looking back on it, I can see that I was not grounded during all that time, and it can start to create expectations that this feeling that I'm feeling, this high, is gonna be there forever. [Mm-hmm] And at some point something's gonna come in. And for me, it was when the community that I was a part of broke up, and there was kind of some drama there. And to me, I'm thinking, "Oh, these people are way more advanced than everybody else. Why is there this drama in here?" And then I was forced to choose, and it was just like a wake up call that everybody on this planet goes through the same things. And first of all, don't project that onto other people. Think that they're better or higher than you, whatever. We're all here living in these bodies, so we're all gonna experience the same human natures that we have to battle.
[00:25:37] But anyway, Stevie reminds me of myself so I've been in this position and you can start to lose yourself because you're just consuming new stuff. So, in this position, how can you manage this energy, this feeding off of the newness of these experiences?
[00:25:54] Alexander: Well, I think a big part of it is seeing that some people's spirituality can turn into just another religion. And they can get very closed sighted, so-to-say, in their world. In the way that they want it to be. And yes, that sets up the opportunity for disappointment, cuz anytime expectations is around, disappointment is not far from that expectation.
[00:26:20] To help the people moving forward that, whether you're going through a recent change, or you've been in your world for a long, long time, the main thing is bringing in that Five Levels and remembering that whatever you focus on- like you were talking about- you were focusing on a feeling. That feeling has to be able to function on all five of those levels, the Physical, the Mental, the Emotional, and the Energetic, and the Spiritual. And we can get too focused on just one level. Like possibly, I'm not saying this is what happened with you, but here it's being exemplified of just so much of a mental level. Because it's not just new information coming in, but a different way of it being explained.
[00:27:01] And so it certainly seems that Stevie is quite enamored with Rio, but I don't get the vibe that Rio is trying to enamor her, so-to-say. She's not intentionally doing that. And this is the projection that gets projected onto people that carry sometimes a different vibration and then people build expectations around them and how they're going to be rather than allowing them to be. So it's gonna be exciting to see how the relationship between Stevie and Rio really continues to develop.
[00:27:37] But many great teachers, and I'm not saying that Rio is this up to this point, but many great teachers will intentionally disappoint people that follow them to break that ideology, because they know that that restricts true information and authenticity from happening.
[00:27:55] So it's been very well known that some of the best teachers in the world- there comes a time where they tell their student that it's time for you to go study with someone else. And normally that means that there's either projection happening or that the student has gotten too comfortable with the teacher and they've lost that energy that's between them to truly keep pushing forward and they become almost like, wanting to be on the same or equal plane. And there's nothing wrong with that, but at the same time, everybody's time frames are on different timeframes. And we don't want to ever put anybody above or below us in an ideal view. But it's still very human nature to want to idolize or look at somebody higher than you and then the other side of it is to judge people or someone else that you feel is below you.
[00:28:52] And so what we wanna work towards is not putting people above you or below you, but being able to respect the differences that someone has invested, like a teacher, like the amount of time and energy and effort, and to really recognize that just because we respect that person and what they've done, we're not putting them on a pedestal or saying that they're better than us. And this is the key to that word respect. Respect keeps everyone's roles very clear in moving forward together. And lots of times when either friendship comes in, or like I said, idolatry, that respect is shifted.
[00:29:33] And so the main point to get across here is that to work towards not holding people above or below you, but to be able to measure your level of respect for someone. And that normally takes a lot of time in how they have handled situations over a long period of time, that really builds that respect.
[00:29:56] So again, I want everyone to feel equal in that nobody is above anybody. That respect process shows that you do appreciate the time and the effort that another human being has put into something, a skill set or to be of help. And this is where many times people will learn things from somebody that's very wise and been practicing it for 25 or more years. And as soon as they learn it, they will go out and start talking about it or trying to teach it. And see, that's not a respectable move. You haven't put your time into all five of those levels of bringing it from the mental to put it into your everyday actions and practice for a long period of time to truly see the whole scope of the situation.
[00:30:44] Aaron: Yeah. Stevie had all these items in her house and she put 'em in a gift bag and brought 'em over and she didn't really even know what they did. So she learned somewhere that gemstones are nice or maybe she was attracted to the color, but didn't really understand the energy or really what it was for.
[00:30:59] Alexander: Right. And when Rio just gave a brief explanation of each one, it wowed Stevie even. But, you know that doesn't, again, mean that Rio's better, but she showed appreciation and said, "Wow, you know more about this stuff than I did", because maybe when she was gathering that stuff, maybe she was looking to be a little special or eccentric or something. But what she did is she gave the gift to someone that knows that stuff very, very well and was able to explain it. But I do give Stevie props for not going into any defense. She was completely receptive and there was no ego, no competition. And that helped the evening to keep developing in a beautiful way.
[00:31:41] Aaron: Yeah. We also saw that when she used the prayer hands, after seeing Rio do it to her, she did it a couple times throughout the story and may not know why Rio did it. And it's not a bad thing. She's using something that eventually she'll probably figure out what it's for and use it in her own practice.
[00:31:57] Alexander: Yes. Yes. And right now she's just, I think being inspired. And many times we will mimic things or people that inspire us, there's nothing negative with that. But when Rio did that to her in the beginning, I think Stevie felt a softness. And that's why I brought up that, from my own experience, of actually creating that movement to remind myself to be soft and maybe that'll wind up being a tool for Stevie that she shares with others and develops into something that's very useful.
[00:32:29] Aaron: We talked a lot about the act of receiving in the first part, and I wanted to get a little deeper into that. Because it is something that plagues us in our society, where we're all about expecting people to give, or we wanna give, because we wanna be seen a certain way, but that the act of receiving is not seen as equal to the act of giving. And including myself, many people have issues with receiving. Even though I think on some levels we expect- if we create a piece of art or if I create a piece of art [mm-hmm] and I give it to somebody, there's a little part of me that expects a reaction. Most likely a positive reaction because I enjoy it, so on some level expect somebody else to enjoy and I want to hear good things. [Mm-hmm] but then when that's not given, we can tend to get upset cuz there was an expectation set. But also on some level, if somebody's just like, "Oh, I don't want that." Like if they don't even know what it's for-
[00:33:19] Alexander: Reject it. Yeah.
[00:33:21] Aaron: There's that too. So, the act of receiving is important because it makes the act of giving what it is, right?
[00:33:28] Alexander: Yes. And I like to suggest in my talks and classes, that receiving is an action and we have to remember to receive. And just because you take something from someone's hand doesn't mean that you receive it. Again, I'm bringing up the Five Levels. So what I like to suggest and what I had to practice for a long time is actually putting my hands in- or by my chest to remind me to soften- and then if somebody gives me something to bring it into my chest and say out loud to them, or just to the Universe, I'm receiving this deeply. And many times I'll close my eyes for just a moment because deep receiving is not an external thing. It's an internal thing. And so when we see that somebody is truly receiving something deeply, many times we can let go of that expectation. We can let go of that projection of needing to be fed that way.
[00:34:25] And that's what receiving is really about. You wanna see that person soaking it in. But as you were saying, our culture is very used to an immediate reaction. Either so-called positive or so-called negative. And that doesn't mean that the person really receives it. They might say, "Oh, thank you. That is so sweet" and that will appease a lot of people. That is the giver. But that still doesn't mean that that person received it. So see, the way that we have been set up to work with this giving and receiving it's very, very challenging to fully feel fulfilled in that.
[00:35:01] But when somebody takes a moment or really takes a pause, and is verbal about it, and they're telling you, "This is what I'm doing now, I'm receiving this deeply. This is so kind". And maybe sometimes there will be a little water that comes in the eye. Like to me, that's one of the deepest showings of receiving is beyond a person's words. But we are so trained to react to whatever their response is. And I want to just urge the listeners, that the next time that you receive something truly receive it and show that person. You know, if it's a flower, if it's money, if it's somebody opening the door. There's more to receiving than just a thank you. And for me, it's showing that pause of time. That I'm taking just a few seconds here to truly absorb this internally, and then I will give you gratitude verbally.
[00:35:55] Aaron: An example of another way that, that I've struggled with receiving is when somebody gives you a compliment. And if you don't feel like you're worthy of that, which a lot of us don't, we'll be like, "Ah, nah, nah, that's not me." or we'll just excuse it in some way or maybe just say, "Oh thank you" but know deep down inside that you don't deserve that for some reason.
[00:36:14] And so I've had a middle step as I go through practicing receiving. If somebody thinks that I'm like, the best podcaster or I have the best voice, and I don't think I do, I'm grateful for that compliment, but I'm also a realist, and there's no way that I'm that. There's so many other people that have put in their time or are worthy of that, in my opinion. And so I'll be like, "Aw man, thank you for that compliment. I really appreciate that. I don't know if I'm anywhere near that but thank you. And so like, it's appeasing that part of me where I'm, on some level, agreeing with myself, but I'm also showing a humbleness. So I don't know if you can dissect that. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
[00:36:54] Alexander: We don't have to necessarily judge it as good or bad, but, seeing where you're at with it is what's important, and wanting to continue to be a better receiver. So for instance, when I was at the height of a lack of receiving was back in my band days, in my twenties. And after most shows, playing live, I would get compliments where people would come up and sometimes they would say "You're the best bass player that I've ever seen." My response was always, "Name me three bass players." Cause there's hardly anybody listening now that can name three bass players of any band. They're just not the most well known artists in a band. Normally it's a guitar player and singer. And so that was my way of deflecting. But see, I was using judgment because I was actually belittling them and making them feel possibly negatively for even complimenting me.
[00:37:48] So I had to learn a way that I developed into was if somebody come up to me and said, "You're the best bass player," I've ever seen to say, "Thank you so much for that compliment. That means the world to me. Let me take a moment to take that in." Now, Jaco Pastorious, Victor Wooten, Geddy Lee, Les Claypool- there's so many incredible bass players out there that I would love for you to take a few of those names and go listen, because these are people that I look up to.
[00:38:19] And so it turned into that being able to receive that maybe I am the best bass player that they've ever seen, because they just took the time to look at me in that way. And then I want to educate them into who, and what I respect and look up to. And hopefully that'll send a ripple out for them to go do some research and maybe expand their knowledge of bass players, or musicians, or teachers, or whatever it is.
[00:38:46] So, we can practice receiving and practice humility at the same time. And we can even inspire people by, like I said, pointing out people that you look up to in certain areas and saying, "Hey, please go check them out, but I do receive what you just gave me."
[00:39:03] Aaron: Now, if that wasn't a great example of the three R's- Recognize, Respect, or Redirect. I don't know what it is.
[00:39:08] Alexander: Great job. Yes. Good thing to point out.
[00:39:10] Aaron: All right. Stevie brings up something so trivial, it probably didn't warrant an "I'm sorry" and she said it so fast that there was no contemplation of what she was sorry for. And the "I'm sorry" conversation is one I love to talk about because I feel like many people out there don't know that there's this other perspective of looking at "I'm sorry". And, when I look at my own reason- If somebody is sorry for something that they did to me, the way I receive that best is if they explain to me what they learned and how they're changing going forward.
[00:39:47] Alexander: This is very prevalent in our culture, that phrase "I'm sorry" and many people just get in a habit of saying it and they don't really realize what that's doing to the subconscious. And words are powerful and words carry no power simultaneously. I'm gonna explain that saying because I've stopped people in their tracks and conversations with that. And many times they don't initially wanna agree with it. But the way that I look at that is words are extremely powerful that's coming out of your mouth. You are creating a vibration towards the universe or towards the person you're talking to or towards yourself. But when words are coming into your ears and coming to you, you have the ability to not take those words personal. You have the ability to not give those words, but a certain amount of power.
[00:40:41] And so that's how we can live in contradiction- by saying similar to this. That yes, words are powerful, but they carry no power simultaneously. Love and relationships are temporary and eternal, simultaneously. All relationships are going to end on this plane on the Physical level, but they don't necessarily end on the Spiritual and Energetic level. And so, being able to look at the world in this open mindset really helps to manage our stress, manage our communications, and that's what this podcast and the J.U.S.T. Philosophy is all about is learning to live in non preference, and we've detailed that in past episodes.
[00:41:23] Aaron: And I don't wanna say that I'm right for thinking that somebody should give their actions because recently, I found out that there's a five love language quiz, but now there's a five ways that people hear I'm sorry. And one of them is people like to hear words. Part of that is probably that they're trained, but I guess if one of your top love languages is words of affirmation, it may also be that you like to hear that somebody's sorry.
[00:41:49] Alexander: Yes. And I'm in agreement with you of what you said earlier is that when I'm looking for somebody to apologize to me, or I'm looking to apologize to somebody else- that happens often as well- I do wanna point out those three things. I wanna point out what I see that I failed at, or didn't handle optimally. What I see I need to do in the future to not get to that point to have to make that decision again. And then I want to explain, "This is what I'm going to implement in my day to day actions to work towards a better way to handle this situation."
[00:42:27] And so, that's why I happen to feel that very rarely does an apology suit the person that's receiving the apology. But if you give those three details of this is where I failed, this is where I can see that I can improve, and this is what I'm actually going to do to work toward that improvement, I feel like almost everyone would be satisfied in those languages that you're talking about. Cause we're still giving it verbal, but it's in a more well rounded scene, so-to-say.
[00:42:59] So, check in and ask yourself if the phrase " I'm sorry", really works for you in your life, either as the giver or the receiver. And realize that there are ways to get apologies across, especially verbally, but for it to have much more of a deeper meaning.
[00:43:17] And the earlier that we can teach our kids this- and every time I hear a parent tell their child, "You need to go tell them you're sorry". Like, that's just a little hit in my gut because that's that training that we're talking about. And just as easily they could say, "Why don't you go up to them and tell 'em what you feel like you did wrong and how you're gonna work to be better and see if that doesn't have a different result." and I think that it certainly would. But most of this is unconscious and that's why it was brought up in this story is it can seem something very simple. But when you start catching yourself, when you would normally say, "I'm sorry" and change that phrasing, this is part of the practice of this philosophy, is you see your patterns that you want to change, and then you have to implement change through discipline and structure to be successful over a long period of time to truly shift that vibration.
[00:44:13] Aaron: So, Rio goes into asking Stevie who she is and Stevie mentions her three names- First middle and last. And Rio mentions that that's a lot of roles that need to be played, in so many words. And so I wanted to first ask, because all of us started new at some point. So all of us, I think, can probably resonate with Stevie on some level. And so if somebody asks you like who you are in this type of way, or if you are listening to the three questions episode and you get asked, "Who are you?" how can we take that question onto a deeper level where Stevie didn't even know what level she was being asked on?
[00:44:51] Alexander: I think this is a great question and I'm going to use the language that I'm most comfortable with, but I want it to be known that this language is flexible. The way that I normally answer that question is, "I'm Alexander. I'm a 4/1 Generator, Queen of Hearts, 10 Clubs." And, not everybody's gonna understand that, but there's so much information in that. And, of course, this is coming from the Human Design system and the Destiny Card system that we utilize a lot in this philosophy and the podcast.
[00:45:23] And that's the language that I would like to see people moving towards. Because when I talk about being a 4/1, Generator, Queen of Hearts, 10 of Clubs, I'm talking about my astrological makeup. The astrological makeup to me, is all the planets are putting off a frequency and that's backed by physics that it has an effect on us. So the timing that we come into this world gives us an energetic blueprint. And then many times our family, our culture, our friends take us away from that energetic blue print with the best of intentions, and this is why lots of people feel like they are lost or they don't have any passion, but they will fight and argue to defend who they think they are. When they haven't taken the time to know what their God-given gifts were through this astrological information.
[00:46:14] And then Stevie does bring up the Western astrology of " I'm a cancer," and brings in the crab. But see, she was very limited in that knowledge and she even kind of scoffed at it and made a judgment with it. And so I'm looking for that confidence of this is the name that I would prefer to be called, and then this is this Divine cosmic makeup that I'm working towards. And I may even bring in something like in my Human Design, I have what's called an aura busting channel that is a 59-6. So I've had to learn to really buffer my language. That I can come across very, very intense. And I've heard this my whole life, but see, I didn't know why until I got into the Human Design. And so now I'm much more advanced in when to show that intensity and when not to, but that is part of the work is working not only with our astrological makeup, but against it to a certain point to expand our tool belt.
[00:47:17] Aaron: Yeah. So if you never looked at the Human Design, you would never know that that exists and wouldn't really become aware of it to then be able to throttle it or choose when to use it and when to not.
[00:47:29] Alexander: Yes. And that's why these types of self-development studies are so imperative in truly growing up and becoming an adult. You know, most people don't know that according to the Destiny Card system all of our astrology, or energy, starts over the same as when we were born when we're 45 years old. So it is literally like a restart. And many people go through similar situations as they did earlier in life, but they have the opportunity to handle them differently. But guess what? Most people don't because they handle their situations based around their traumas. So the trauma keeps the same story going over and over. So when people get stuck in the same type of relationships- maybe they've been married five times, but they keep attracting the same type of person- the change is within themselves. And the astrology makeup and our tools, being the Human Design and the Destiny Card system, is like a roadmap toward the Authentic Self. And that's what we're all about here is becoming our Authentic Self and shedding the family lineage and the bad habits that we've picked up through our life.
[00:48:34] Aaron: When Rio asked Stevie about her passion, she didn't really have an answer. She mentioned that she was kind of interested in working with kids, but outside of that, she wasn't able to have an answer that felt like the energy was behind it. So if people are listening to this out there and they kind of resonate with that, but they don't even know where to look. What would you suggest?
[00:48:54] Alexander: Man, this is a great question and it's one that I've been bombarded with lately, I would say over the last few months. And I have people that's even very close to me, questioning what they are passionate about. And so everybody's passion isn't going to be exhibited the same. Some people's more internal, some people's more external. But the main thing is paying attention, A- to what you did as a child. Especially around seven years old or younger before you fully started being influenced so much. So I like to suggest to some people of go back to your childhood and what you really enjoyed doing. Maybe when you had to play by yourself and there was no one else around, or when you got with your friends, what you wanted to do. And so, for example, that might not be specific. You may take something specific and see a general thing. Like for me, growing up, it was sports. I was all about sports. So let's break that down into competition was fun. But then it came up a certain point in my development where I saw competition was keeping me from moving forward.
[00:50:01] So what did I do? I took the competition external. I played basketball in not necessarily a league, but in a weekly gym, up into my thirties. But at a certain point, I wanted to take my lesson of competition to another level. So I stopped playing basketball, and stopped playing sports to compete with others, and decided to only compete with myself. And the way that I compete with myself is by when a emotion gets activated in me, whether that be sadness or anger or frustration or whatever it is, the competition is how quickly can I shift that vibration? And the ultimate game is that when somebody is trying to project something on me and I'm able to not take it on. Then see, it's not a competition with the person, it's a competition with the emotions, and that I'm all about processing the emotions and learning to manage the emotions. So that's where all of my competition went from the external to playing sports, to the internal of, "How can I go through this day without anyone knocking me off my center?"
[00:51:09] And this is why my great teacher taught me in meditation to go to the marketplace, be around a thousand people and learn to still your mind. Don't just put yourself in a perfect environment. And that's the type of competition that, for the past 25 years, I've really, really juiced on and would like to suggest to others to take whatever you did as a child, be specific with that, but then look at it generally and see how you can shift and bring that into your present day life in some way or fashion.
[00:51:38] Aaron: So are you saying that your passion is competition?
[00:51:41] Alexander: Hmm. At one point in time, my passion was competition. But see, my biggest obstacle was insecurity, as I've mentioned in the past. So see, I love the competition, but I could not stand losing. So see if I lost at some kind of event, it would bother me for days or weeks on end. Really what I liked about competition was winning. That's what I liked. So then that gave me the incentive internally when I'm working on my emotions, that if I win by not letting a person, or a situation, knock me off my center and send me into an emotional spiral, then that's the kinda winning that I want. Nobody else has to lose.
[00:52:21] See, that's the thing about external competition. There always has to be a winner and a loser. But in an internal competition, there doesn't have to be any loser. And even when you lose and say that somebody does or says something that evokes a negative emotion in me, see, I don't beat myself up. I just say, "Hey, you need to prepare a little bit better. You need to limit your time around this person." I come up with what I'm going to do next to help this failure that just happened. And then I'm going to issue some discipline and some structure to make sure that I practice that to work towards a better outcome.
[00:52:57] Aaron: So the way I found my passion was looking at all of the things that I love to do and finding the common denominator, which ended up being like creating experiences for people. Cuz everything I do is that. The podcast, the t-shirt company. Even when I created a new sport. It all was just that. So do you think that is helpful if people look at what they're doing now that they really love to do? Or maybe it only worked for me because I do things that I'm passionate about and somebody who's maybe in like a corporate setting and doesn't do any hobbies, and they're not passionate about being in corporate, [Mm-hmm], I don't know. Maybe that wouldn't be helpful.
[00:53:34] Alexander: Yeah, no, I think it's great that you mentioned that and shared what has worked for you and maybe it still works for you from that perspective. And that's all that I shared is what has worked for me. I've done many different things to find my passion.
[00:53:46] Sometimes finding passion is being able to just receive what somebody else is doing. Like, the very first time I heard a Sitar. It was like, it was calling me home. But I didn't know how to play a Sitar. I didn't even have plans to play a Sitar at that time. But then fast forward many years later, I have a Hari Krishna friend of mine that called me up and said, "Somebody has just donated a Sitar to the center, I would like to see this go to somebody that's gonna do something with it. Are you interested in it?" And I said, "Absolutely." And that's how I got my first Sitar.
[00:54:21] But see, it was the recognition of something calling me home. And then not just accepting of, I don't know how to play that, or I don't even know where to get one or anything like that, but just being at peace with it. And I recognize that. And then it's trust. That spiritual connection of trust, faith, and nonjudgment that over time allowed for something to develop for a gift to be brought into my world. And now I play the Sitar at almost every sound journey that I do. I still don't call myself a Sitar player, but I play the Sitar and I enjoy it. And every time I play it, it really fills me up.
[00:54:57] So, however you reach that passion, the main thing is that you take some time over a period of time to contemplate what you're passionate about, to think about what you did as a young child that lit you up. To think about presently what you enjoy doing and finding things that can fit under that umbrella. And so the act of finding passion is a very spiritual, very energetic, very emotional, very mental, and very physical thing for most people. So being able to separate it in those three areas, and maybe sometimes we just need to sit and feel when we're around another artist or another situation, and feel it on that energetic level, rather than just thinking about it in our mind. Most people get too stuck in the mind and that's why it's so important, and I mentioned the five different levels over and over and over, because that's how I see that we stay in balance.
[00:55:56] Aaron: And would you say that passion is extremely important, like creativity because it is one of the things that refuels us.
[00:56:03] Alexander: Well, sometimes passion, like anything, can be taken to an extreme and that passion becomes an opinion. It becomes a point of view. And then that passion starts being pushed on people. So see, I had to come up with a saying or a mantra when I first started being of service to people because I was extremely passionate. But when I talked with my passion, many times people would misconstrue that as frustration or anger. So I come up with this saying that I practice my passion through my creative pursuits and my love making. And anytime that I'm teaching or sharing information, it's not necessary for me to always be passionate. Because again, people can misperceive what you mean as passion as a negative emotion.
[00:56:50] So being aware of that, because if you're showing passion and you're getting resistance to that passion, what normally happens is people dig their heels in more and then it becomes an opinion. Then it becomes forceful. And passion, in its highest regard, is something that doesn't create a negative experience for anybody else. They're uplifted by seeing your passion about whatever you're doing.
[00:57:15] So, realize that if you're being passionate, but you're creating resistance, then you may need to redirect that passion and accept that you may be in opinion now. So it's a very fine line there. But I so enjoy being around passionate people that are conscious and don't project their passion on others.
[00:57:36] Aaron: Well, that was great to add there at the end. I'm looking forward to seeing where Stevie goes with these questions. I think she's gonna be doing some thinking and it'd be interesting and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the path that she takes through all this and the similarities between her and myself. And I'm sure everybody else out there listening along is also having Stevie as an influence or just looking at her on their own. But also all the other characters and where they see themselves in their lives now or where they used to be.
[00:58:06] Alexander: Yes. It's gonna be wonderful watching the characters develop. And at the same time, I want to invite all of the listeners to please share with us your view of passion and how you look at it, how you practice it, how you exemplify it. And then maybe where you have taken it too far. So please stay in contact with us and share. We love sharing.
[00:58:25] Aaron: Really appreciate you guys being premium members. And looking forward to you joining us on the next episode.
[00:58:31] Alexander: Much love.