Living in the flow of life doesn’t necessarily mean your life will be easier but is rather a perspective that you take to bring in more acceptance, allowance and flexibility in how you relate and react to the world around you.
[00:00:21] Aaron: Welcome to yet another episode of the Wise Whys podcast. I am Aaron.
[00:00:25] Alexander: I'm Alexander. Welcome everyone.
[00:00:27] Aaron: And I've been wondering, what is or what does it mean to be in the flow of life? And for Alexander? It is buying many vinyl albums.
[00:00:36] Alexander: That's the flow I do enjoy being in. And we're going to be discussing the way the J.U.S.T. Philosophy looks at this and approaches it. But by no means is saying this is the law or the way that it is. It's really to just have a stimulating conversation and maybe it will bring up some interesting points for you listeners to just look at this subject in a different light.
[00:00:59] Aaron: So this is something that is still abstract for me to conceptualize. And I've been working with you, Alexander for almost seven years, and I've gone through my understanding of what willpower and perseverance is and what trust is, and it took me three or four years to really understand that it came down to how it's affecting me internally on which one to choose going forward. And that there isn't always an absolute answer. And of course that's very hard for me to hear because it's that uncertainty that comes in, and maybe that's a part of my type that likes certainty, but I'm sure many, many other people agree that they also like certainty.
[00:01:44] But this question came up again for me when I was talking to a friend and they were discussing a trip that they were planning, and they said that if they got resistance in planning this trip, then they would know not to do it. And, I guess the question came in with, okay, so does that mean like any friction, any resistance that they would have? Like if they went to, like, if they were booking a hotel and that website was down, is that like game over for the trip? Or, because Alexander here likes to watch a lot of documentaries and he's always talking about the perseverance that these people show, whether it's a musician, whether it's a sports athlete where you are going to have friction trying to become that because it is the best of the best that make it. And you grow, you build your body up, you build your skills up through friction. So that's built into those systems.
[00:02:41] And I think there's possibly a view that's come in lately within the self-development world where maybe friction is almost like a bad thing and if there's any friction, that means you're not supposed to do it. And I've kind of felt that influence come in throughout my last, you know, seven, eight years that I've kind of been trying to find a new way of living. And so I, I wanted to get more into demystifying what it means to live in the flow of life, because I'm also wondering what it means.
[00:03:16] Alexander: Yeah. And I think this is gonna be just a, a fun conversation so let's see where it takes us. But one of the first places to start is to, to realize that if we just take it from the position of an athlete. Normally one of the highest qualities of an athlete is to be able to calm under pressure. And normally the athletes that are able to do that at the highest levels, the professional level, has actually lost a lot of games. And in that losing, you learn how to deal with when you're losing. To where if it's just winning, that happens, for like maybe a team goes undefeated for a whole season. And then they get into playoffs and see playoffs brings a different intensity, it's a different game from what I hear all athletes say. And they may not be able to perform as well at that next level of intensity as they were at this other one because they had found like something that worked, but they hadn't reached adversity. So as soon as they start to get behind in a playoff game, see, they're not prepared with how to necessarily deal with that.
[00:04:29] And so I'm not saying that this view is wrong, but I'm looking at this from the point of view of self-development work and a lot of self-development work is working through what you have resistance to. But it doesn't have to be seen as a negative or forceful to work through friction because in the J.U.S.T. Philosophy we talk about starting with acceptance and accepting that this isn't my preference is the very first step. And then as soon as you get that preference out of the way, you can see more clearly of how to handle the situation. And so I just wanna bring it up that our, our friction is actually a choice, and it's just that something has met our preference and that if we choose to be led in that direction, we may or may not be getting stronger from a self-development view.
[00:05:21] And from a general standpoint, I'd like to suggest that being in the flow is simply when you're living outside of resistance, outside of friction. This isn't saying that you always get your way. It's saying that when you are not getting your preference, you're able to shift the resistance to acceptance through a perception change.
[00:05:44] Friction, here, is being suggested as being seen as part of the flow. Sometimes we arrive at places in our lives in unforeseen ways, like meeting a rock in a river while floating in an inner tube. It's not that the rock is bad. It doesn't need judgment. It's part of the path, and if you prepare and utilize it properly, it can even catapult you forward.
[00:06:07] So see, much of our emotional distress is the resistance to accept the so-called obstacles or judgements that again, are part of the flow.
[00:06:18] Aaron: Yeah, and I think we are going to give some examples in this beginning part and also in the complete conversation where we may be talking about more examples that are tangible, like a sports athlete where people can see and identify with the journey that they have to go through.
[00:06:36] But I am more interested in trying to get to a conversation around how do we use it within the day-to-day life? Because talking about an athlete, you know, that's a very specific journey that anybody can see that it takes the discipline and the structure to build up your body, to build up your skills over time, the practice that goes into. But what about the person who wants to become like a teacher or wants to plan a party, you know? [Mm-hmm] If they go to plan a party and they need balloons and the first store they go to is out of balloons, do they just say, no balloons at this party?
[00:07:08] So, I want to try to bring this whole conversation just to set the intention more towards, like around everyday people like, like how do we deal with friction? How do we deal with rejection and still live within the flow of life and maybe live in a direction towards our intentions and how all that plays in as well.
[00:07:30] Alexander: Okay. Well, sometimes when we're able to look at, whether it be athletes or music performers or anything at this higher degree, it can sometimes help break the view, but this, we are all connected and no matter what we're doing, whether we are trying to be a teacher or a lawyer, the similar rules apply through physics.
[00:07:49] And, so in every day life, no matter what level you're coming from, the very first thing to realize is that the resistance or the friction that is created in anything in life is truly your choice. And I want people to take that as an empowering way to view things rather than a deflating way. Because that means that all the friction that is in your life, you can choose to see it and experience it a different way. So if you're going through life and you find someone that you're attracted to and you want to ask them out maybe. And see that's what you want, but that's not necessarily what you need.
[00:08:34] And so, that person may be in a completely different place and not looking to connect with somebody. So it may not have anything to do with you at all. So yes, a person could go and interact with them, get shot down, take that as a sign to not talk to anybody else for the rest of the day or the rest of the year or whatever. But see, all of that is a type of self-sabotage. You're setting kind of the rules up yourself to be disappointed, so if anything doesn't go according to your preference, then I find it hard to see the path of how that's going to ever bring you fulfillment. Because I haven't seen yet, I haven't met anybody, that their life just everything is their preference, and that's the way that every day goes.
[00:09:23] So I bring it back to seeing that if you're going to look for signs, if you're gonna work with intention, then remembering that intention is just that you're putting it out, but then you bring in trust that you will be shown the way. And so see a door closing for you or an opportunity closing, you could take that as frictional because it's not what you want, but it could be exactly in the flow of life.
[00:09:47] And so when people ask me, well, how do I live more in the flow? The very first question I'm gonna have for them is, do you happen to know your Human Design makeup and your Destiny Cards? Because that astrological view helps me to lead people toward what, more than likely, will be fulfilling for them. They may or may not know what that is, but the people that, through 15 years of doing this professionally and studying it for 25 years, the few people that I have found that is content in life or any level of true happiness on a consistent basis is in direct alignment with these designs.
[00:10:26] That's the life that I live. I'm always open to giving up my birth information so anyone can see if I'm living within what I teach and what I exemplify because that's what's led me to this. Not that I followed that, it's just been confirmation through my path. And so that's what is tough to answer that question of how do you live in the flow of life is if you're not aware of what your personal flow is, then these techniques may or may not work no matter what the technique is.
[00:10:58] Aaron: Yes. And if you don't know what your flow of life is, if you don't know what your energetic makeup is, if you don't know what direction you are supposed to be going, what your path is, what your reason for being here is, then I think what you were saying earlier is your preferences are gonna take over and possibly how many people see the flow of life is if life is flowing within their preferences. And I think that's a good way to expose possibly some ways of thinking because right then and there we can see how that's gonna set up expectations and set up disappointment and set up more friction. And if they're gonna stop at the first line of friction, then they're not gonna do anything. They're gonna be disappointed. They're gonna get down on themselves probably to lead to depression. [Mm-hmm] And so, then they're gonna be afraid to do anything, because if you're living by and based on your preferences, then you're gonna be in a lot of friction, right?
[00:11:55] Alexander: Yes, yes. And I'm gonna share my experience and how I found my so-called flow, but I'm, once again, I'm not projecting that, that this would work for everyone, but it is working within the view that life is playful to a certain extent, and that when I've noticed that when I set a new intention of something that I want to accomplish or reach that, many times, life gives me three challenges right away or within a short period of time to see if I'm serious.
[00:12:27] And I remember growing up, my parents doing something similar. I remember me doing something similar when I was raising my boys, that at one point in time they wanted a motorcycle. And I said, well, if you will go work for half the money, I will match whatever you, you make. And they decided that it wasn't worth the effort.
[00:12:50] If I would buy it for them, then they would take it, but they wouldn't put forward the effort. And whether this is, is exemplified can be seen through even Jesus' example and how much resistance that even a being at Jesus' level went through and the teaching there was how he managed the resistance.
[00:13:11] And that's really what the J.U.S.T. Philosophy gets into is when you meet that resistance, you know, what do you do? And I happen to look for things in threes, and if I meet three resistances within a short period of time, then normally I will take a pause and realize that it's time to trust that this isn't the right time for whatever I'm attempting. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong.
[00:13:36] So see, again, when people are coming up against their preferences, they don't know if it's the wrong direction or possibly the wrong timing. There's many different variables that that can mean. So I like to just say that it's similar to getting in the river and instead of swimming upstream like I did so willfully through my twenties and early thirties, I decided to just be in the inner tube and pick my feet up. But in that it's not the same as just sticking your head in the sand because you still have a responsibility to watch out for your safety. And I call it like the rocks are going to be in the water and we're still floating on top of the inner tube, but we still have to bring consciousness and effort in to avoid these obstacles in the river as well. It isn't just going to be a smooth stream for as long as you want it to be.
[00:14:25] So see, this is where the pillar of polarity versus duality came in. That my choice was to learn to make love to the friction in life rather than giving it so much power of whether it's telling me not to do something or to do something with, from like an approval standpoint. But to be willing to be flexible and say, okay, I'll look for three, and if you show me three resistances right away, then I don't have a problem making an adjustment, but I'm gonna be willing to go through the first two because why shouldn't this intention be so-called challenged to see if you're really serious about this.
[00:15:04] And this happens, you know, we're releasing this, uh, close to the first of the year where a lot of people set New Year's resolutions and they set themselves up to subconsciously sabotage themselves to get injured right when they were looking to work out. See? So they will have an excuse. So again, should they take that as a sign that they shouldn't be working out? No, more than likely that was a self-sabotage that they really don't wanna work out, they're just looking for an excuse. So again, this is a very kind of complex subject to just generalize, but this is the usefulness of the specifics of the Human Design and the Destiny Cards.
[00:15:41] Aaron: So the friction that we encounter going through the flow of life is more than not a perception based friction, right?
[00:15:52] Alexander: Yes. If you take a moment to truly consider that, that all friction is a choice. All negative emotions are a choice. And I say this through going through losing a wonderful partner of 11 years in Sherri, and she meant the world to me. But that loss is part of that we experience births and we experience deaths and everybody is going to die. But see, that doesn't have to be resisted. That doesn't have to be frictional. It can be accepted. And why wouldn't a culture work toward accepting the one thing that is inevitable for every human being? But cultures don't support that. So that's kind of like even the view that I'm coming from here is that it's to embrace that friction, to embrace that passing and make it a true celebration. Like so many people say that they want, but very, very few people follow through with making a person's passing a celebration.
[00:16:53] Aaron: Yeah and the J.U.S.T. Philosophy is all about self-development and growth. And in order to grow, you have to move through friction. And if it does involve changing your perception, then that's also gonna help you persevere. Because when a normal person would see friction and then back off, you're going to not see it as that big of a challenge because it's just gonna be a practice of altering your perception and moving on.
[00:17:20] But then I guess it's gauging when is the friction big enough to be a sign? And I guess kind of what you just were talking about it, it can be an every individual person's type of decision.
[00:17:32] Alexander: Yes, and this is very similar to raising children. The similar mindset would be that if a child throws a temper tantrum or gets upset, then they're a bad kid and that's not necessarily the case. They just need to be taught how to manage these emotions that are coming up. And that's what our negative emotions are, is like these little children or our child that's been traumatized, been hurt in certain ways and still has certain sensitivities to what people say, what people do.
[00:18:03] And that's one of the main focuses of this just philosophy, is to work on not like looking at healing this, but more or less like growing it up and maturing it so that there's nothing wrong with the pains that it's gone through. And we're not trying to forget those pains, but we're working to see them and experience them from a different mindset and a different direction where they don't have so much control over us.
[00:18:32] So that's where the phrase of learn to make love with the friction in life you know, came from. To embrace those as challenges to get stronger. And even the physical body gets stronger through working through that resistance, not stopping to work out as soon as the muscles get sore. Most people will tell you that if you start working out you're going to go through a period of being sore. So again, I'm not attacking or debunking any other way of looking at this. This is just an explanation of kind of the way the J.U.S.T. Philosophy approaches it.
[00:19:06] Aaron: And the whole reason why we would want to find our flow in life and look at friction possibly in a different light as more of a learning experience and persevere when we feel it's necessary is, is so that we can fall in line and live more in contentment. At least for me, that's the choice I make every day is I wanna live closer and closer to being in the moment, being grounded, and finding a more content life. And so I feel like if we are living in the flow of life, that is automatically going to bring contentment, right?
[00:19:39] Alexander: Yes. And for some people, that's going to be a busier lifestyle and for some people it's going to be a more not busy lifestyle. Again, the Human Design and the cards can help to understand that natural flow and it's important that, again, this isn't a judgment on anyone's parents, but many times our parents just raised us the way that they were raised. And that doesn't mean that it was ideal for them or ideal for us.
[00:20:08] So that's why there's no judgment in that but part of self-development from this perspective is that it's your responsibility to raise yourself now that you're completely self-sufficient, and put that responsibility on your shoulders and not judge your parents for what they did wrong. So, yeah, so many of us have stories of traumas that came from our environments, but we don't have to be victim to those. And this is where learning to work through certain frictions can be very helpful with even working with traumas down the line in deeper levels of healing.
[00:20:47] Aaron: So coming up in the complete conversation, it looks like we can get into some specific examples where we can bring in somebody's Human Design and cards and how you would suggest within the J.U.S.T. Philosophy that they live in the flow of life or what would be optimal for them, so people can gauge just a general idea of kind of where they would fit in. But obviously if they do want their specific flow of life, or help with their flow of life, or help understanding how they're energetically made, definitely reach out to you to get a Human Design and Destiny Card reading and you can tell them more about themselves.
[00:21:24] Alexander: Yes, so just reach out to [email protected] and we'll set up a session to get your Human Design chart that helps you to understand your energetic flow and how you interact with the world. And then the Destiny Card system helps you understand your personality self and your higher self, which is the transition that we're kind of talking about, is shifting from that personality into our highest possibilities.
[00:21:50] Aaron: And we do have episodes early on covering the Human Design, covering the Destiny Cards, and covering the Destiny card yearly reports. So definitely check those out if, if you're not sure what these systems are. But for now, we're hoping you'll join us over on the complete conversation.
[00:22:05] Alexander: See you there.
[00:22:07] Aaron: Welcome to the complete conversation. I am excited to get a little deeper into the flow of life and demystify it for all you guys.
[00:22:16] Alexander: Yes, that was a nice little taste we started with, but let's go deeper.
[00:22:20] Aaron: So I wanted to know like, what is the role that passion plays in our flow? Is it, is our flow going to kind of include our passion. Are we gonna like want to do the flow or could it may not gel with, because we talked about having expectations and wants and preferences and how the flow of life is going to kind of, it can include some of the things we want, but it kind of flows outside of that because our preferences put like kind of walls on how we want things to go and water just flows the way it's meant to, so it's not gonna adhere to those boundaries that we try to set on our expectations of life. So, I don't know if you could speak to how passion plays into this?
[00:23:07] Alexander: Like any experience or emotion, and that's the way I like to look at emotions is they're just a experience that's being chosen. And I think passion is a beautiful experience, but it's always interesting to me where people choose to place their passion, because depending on where you place it, has a little bit to do with how well it's gonna be received.
[00:23:33] And I had to learn to redirect the majority of my passion because of that. Because of it being misperceived. To understand that passion is something that is connected to polarity, like everything on this plane. And so anybody that pursues something passionately, there has to be the polarity of passion, which would be like disappointment. And that that's a game that you play. You don't get one without the other. And the whole purpose of passion, potentially, is to drive one through the resistance, but to expect the resistance not to be there just because you're passionate about it. You know?
[00:24:21] It's very similar that someone's passionate to be a Democratic candidate. But then, you know, due to polarity, there's somebody just as passionate to be a Republican candidate and they're going to experience those passions through both successes and loss. So when somebody brings their passion like into the way they make their living, then there can be a lot of disappointment experienced in the pursuit of that passion. Some people put their passion in through the relationships, some people put their passion into their relationship with a higher power God, that type of energy. And so I think passion is a beautiful thing, but my question once again would just be, well, where do you feel the most fulfilled when that passion is experienced?
[00:25:17] And so with myself, it got redirected and I even created a mantra that I redirect my passions through my artistic endeavors and my love making. And so, in a lot of sharing this information, I don't show a lot of that emotional so-called passion. It doesn't mean that I'm not passionate about this work. I've been doing it for over 25 years, but I also feel like truth doesn't need to be defended and emotions is part of a manipulation.
[00:25:48] So I just want to give people neutrally the information and let them utilize it out there in the world so that it's not about any belief, it's about actually trying. So I say bring your passions to life, but just realize that what walks hand in hand with passion is disappointment, and that that passion, part of the usefulness of that, is to work through the disappointments.
[00:26:13] Aaron: Yeah, I guess maybe the way I was thinking about passion would just be something you're more in alignment with. I think I maybe answered my own question in my head while you're saying that because we did want to get into how people's flows can be dictated or are gonna be in alignment with their, their energetic makeup. And so if we take myself, for instance, I'm a double diamond, both of my cards, the birth card and the planetary ruling card in the Destiny Card system are both diamonds. So that deals with what I value and most likely it, it probably will default to more or less in making money or surrounding money because of our culture.
[00:26:56] And I recently, found a, I'm gonna use the word passion, but found something I really enjoy in selling vinyl records.
[00:27:06] Alexander: Mm-hmm.
[00:27:07] Aaron: And I've gone through many other things that I've tried to create my own thing to sell. I've tried to buy and sell cryptocurrency but none of that I've really had too much success. And it could be for many different reasons, maybe I didn't persevere enough, maybe I wasn't patient enough. My perspective was, was off in that greed played a role in that, but all of those have taught me and have kind of lined up a perfect storm for me to utilize the lessons that I've learned in selling vinyl. Because I'm learning to not be greedy and to just make small amounts of profit and not hold out to make huge amounts of profit on every album. But I've realized that it's something I really, really enjoy. And I'm not creating the music, I'm not creating the artwork, but I'm holding it. I'm interacting with it. And I also love to create experiences for people, and I feel like I can kind of tap into that because I'm getting an album and I know somebody really wants it, and usually the stuff I purchase is gonna be outta print soon, so then I have it when somebody really needs it. [Mm-hmm] And so I, I am kind of creating an experience for that person and how I package it with care.
[00:28:22] And so I've just been really looking at why I'm, I've just been so successful with this and it is because it, it seems like it is in alignment with my energetic makeup. And so has it become a passion of mine because it's in alignment with my makeup, would you say?
[00:28:41] Alexander: Well, that's what I was going to ask you is what, what you would say is creating that passion in you, in this experience? Is it that it's profitable? Is it that the energy is flowing? One thing that I've noticed through your experience with this is, and this is connected to both of your diamonds, if I'm not mistaken, but like the less you think about it or the less that you really plan on like how much money it's going to make, and it's more of an just an intuitive, and of course you've learned a lot, but it's, it's not necessarily pushing it to get as much as you possibly can. It's about keeping the energy flowing and you not going into any worry or concern. And as long as that is happening, which is what you seem to have been able to do with this vinyl because in the beginning, if I'm not mistaken, uh, it wasn't really a plan to turn into something, it was just like more of an experience that you began with.
[00:29:43] Aaron: Yeah, it's, funny because it actually started when I had bought an album years ago before I even got into vinyl just of my favorite band and just held onto it. And then, when I started getting into it, I sold that because it wasn't my favorite album and it was worth 10 times as much. And once I sold it, I was like, oh, this feels good, this feels good to sell.
[00:30:02] And then I had bought some and I was like, ah, I don't know if I'm really gonna listen to this, so I sold that for a profit. Because the market's hot right now and things keep going in and out of print. And so I like that feeling. And for me, throughout this whole process, it's been really being conscious about the flow of money, the flow of energy going in. Because the more I try to hold on to, to make a bigger profit, I'm understanding that I'm stopping the energy from flowing. So the way I sell it is I, I have a price, but I also allow people to offer me an amount. [Mm-hmm] And more often than not, I'm just taking whatever people are offering me because that keeps the energy moving, [Mm-hmm] and I can keep flowing in and out.
[00:30:47] Because I know that in the past there is a little bit of worry that comes in when I try to hold on for a specific price. And the longer I hold on, the more like this little worry starts to creep in. I just invested in an album or two that's outta print, but then I just saw somebody put a whole bunch on the market, so there might be another press coming out, and there's a voice in me that came out and said, oh, well, well you missed the timing on this one.
[00:31:13] But I'm like, well, I can just hold on for another cycle. It's not a big deal. I'm gonna be able to get my money back. And even if I didn't, I've already made a bunch of money on others to cover that. I'm not going to win on every album.
[00:31:26] Alexander: Right.
[00:31:26] Aaron: And it's important to just keep that energy moving.
[00:31:29] Alexander: Yes. And, you know, we can bring this back to sports as well, is that you're not going to win every game, but it's how you bounce back from that loss . It's how you bounce back from, oh, I could have made twice as much on that if I waited another day. But no, that wasn't in your card, so to say. It was better for the energy to keep moving.
[00:31:50] And so with you being a double diamond, I'm a 10 of clubs, planetary ruling and a Queen of Hearts birth card. And so our flows are very, very different. And that I've had many people, you know, suggest me to monetize what I do much more than I have, which would make more business sense. But because I'm just not diamond oriented, I'm not money oriented. That's not been what has inspired me or pushed me. And so these are the differences that we really wanted to shed light on in this episode is to realize that all this judging that everybody should be doing what you're doing, that's what we want to stop and to understand that we do have many different ways of approaching things and that we should, and we can, support each other in these different paths. Because I support Aaron a hundred percent in this exercise he's been doing with the vinyl. And it's been beautiful to watch because I've seen other things that he's approached in a much different way and there not be that flow that's created. And so, again, I think this is a, a great thing to highlight with the differences and, you know, a lot of my focus and my passion goes into, of course, relationships and intellectual understanding of breaking stuff down.
[00:33:13] And Aaron carries that in to a high degree as well. But this energy and the flow of money and just seeing money as energy, it doesn't make it more or less so-called spiritual because for diamond people, especially a double diamond, that is part of the spiritual path.
[00:33:33] Aaron: And you asked me, you know, what drives me in it? Why is it a passion of mine? Why does it feed me? And it's because, you know, I'm a three of diamonds, so I utilize the creativity and I burn off that energy by trying to find that album that I know is in a cycle of, it just got pressed. There's a high demand out there for it, and in a couple months it's gonna be outta press again. And I use that creativity to find the best deal that I can, to buy a few of 'em, and then set them to the side, and wait until the time is right. So there's a lot of creativity that I tap into through that. And people out there may be like, well, that's not really creativity, but for me it is. It's that, yes, it's just like, like bargain hunting. People love to bargain hunt or, or antique in finding that, that diamond in the rough. To me, it's a very similar energy.
[00:34:29] Alexander: Yes, yes. And I have people all the time that ask me, why do you want to sit and listen to people's problems all day? Because problem solving is a big thing that feeds me. And it's in my design, like I'm designed through the throat Chakra in the Human Design to answer people's questions. So when I learned to stop talking as much and wanting to be heard, that was the energy that I was putting out that actually pushed people away, so I wasn't able to get into my flow. So when I learned to wait for the question, that changed everything. And it made, when I decided to speak, much more powerful. And that's why we even took it into the development of this Wise Whys Podcast because Aaron asked excellent questions at my sound journeys, and that was why I felt like he would play this beautiful role to ask me these questions like, we break down this platform and are back to doing, at the present.
[00:35:30] Aaron: So I guess the answer to my question would be more than likely that whatever we get fed on is probably gonna be in alignment with our energetic makeup, which is probably gonna put us into more of a flow, right?
[00:35:44] Alexander: Yes. And that's why say somebody's a double heart, but they happen to be very talented musician and they make all kinds of money, but they don't, they weren't able to develop a proper relationship because they're so busy working and attaining, you know, the world. And we see this over and over to where it seems like somebody has everything, but they're still so unfulfilled. And this is, this is exactly one of the main points of why I do enjoy watching documentaries of musicians, of actors, of many different, uh, scientists, whoever it is, because seeing that breaking point of where somebody's just ready to give up and they don't. That perseverance is what like, just inspires me so much and not everybody makes it past that, that so-called breaking point.
[00:36:34] And that's kind of what we're talking about here is, is really, this is breaking down to how do we approach the friction in our life. And do we choose to see that as useful or do we choose to see that as a sign to go in another direction? I'm not here to say which one is right. We really want to offer different ways to look at it, but really urge everyone to get very specific. And see, Aaron and I are very different in our cards, but we're very similar in the Human Design. We're both generators, so we have like processes that are very similar. But we have very, very different tastes in what we like and what we enjoy, even down to music and vinyl. And, all that's able to be enjoyed because we both know each other and through these designs and are able to accept each other as that's who we are authentically.
[00:37:28] And I think that that's what helps our relationship, even though we do have so many differences, our similarities are able to come together because of that understanding.
[00:37:37] Aaron: So if somebody is feeling like they're unhappy, they're not content, they feel like they're not living in the flow of life, is that a message to look at their energetic makeup and see where they're not in alignment with that?
[00:37:54] Alexander: I think it's a good place to start. Many people do follow that there's a higher power, whatever they want to call that. And some people can even trust that that power knows better than, than we do, what's best for us, or even down to what we want.
[00:38:12] And I went through my own experience of wanting to be a professional musician and I got my opportunities, got record deals, turned them down. But see, I really feel like that journey was to help me, A, learn about relationships, because being in bands is very, probably the most dysfunctional relationships you can think of. So I learned so much in not just my own, but observing my band members and friends in that environment. And then it took me to holding meditative sound journeys for people to have life changing transformations, even sometimes in those.
[00:38:51] So see, that time wasn't wasted. It was part of my so-called flow, but it was like going from a raging ocean, you know, to a river, when I stepped out of that and decided to take my life in a way that wasn't led by expectations and disappointments and chose to find that so-called flow. And part of that was learning my astrological makeup and how that really broke down mainly from a mathematical view that helped me to truly absorb it because I did resist it in the beginning.
[00:39:29] And it's not truly a belief thing. It is connected to mathematics and physics, and all the influences that these specific planets have and the effects that it has on us individually. And so I enjoy talking about that, of course, from a more scientific point of view, rather than just a mystical point of view.
[00:39:47] Aaron: So if we don't know our energetic makeup, then it's easy for us to think that our wants drive what we're supposed to do. And I feel like if our wants are driving more about what we're supposed to do, we're gonna have more friction because we may not be in alignment with the flow or the direction that maybe our passion or where it's gonna feed us and, and allow us to be more content without so much work. Whereas if we have our wants, we're going to think that we can be content if we get our wants. And then that's kind of like the, the Maya so to say on this journey.
[00:40:25] Alexander: Yes, yes. I mean, it's very similar when people, you know, want a new car and they get in the new car and then yeah, year later they find themselves wanting something else. That want is very, very rarely fulfilled for a long period of time. But contentment is outside of want. It's choosing that what you have is enough and what I need will be provided. I've gotta get up and put effort into getting out of bed and walking to the end of my driveway. But the bus system is designed to bring buses. I don't have to wonder if a bus is coming, so to say.
[00:41:01] So that's how we kind of view through the J.U.S.T. Philosophy of working with life and being in that flow that we do have to be active. And that's why the third chakra, especially, is connected to that balance of willpower and trust. Both are necessary and both are useful. It's just of course, in the the right time with the proper or optimal people. In the optimal situation for the optimal duration.
[00:41:31] And I wanted to bring up and question everyone that's listening, I want you to question what you truly want. Maybe take something that you felt like you've wanted your whole life and ask yourself why. Where did that want come from? Because what I've proven is that many people's wants, many people's personalities, that they will fight over, has been developed from their family, and their environment, and their culture.
[00:42:03] And I find that many people will drive similar cars to their parents. That passes down, especially in the area where I grew up in North Carolina. And I asked my brother one day if he knew why he drove a Ford truck or if he knew why he had an International tractor or if he realized why he was a Republican. And that his father was all, all of those. And my brother takes it as a huge honor to be called like my dad. So I just question in that example, how much choice did he really have? Because he got approval because he had similar opinions. So most of the time people don't want to change their opinions when they're getting approval from those around them. But I question how much of that is truly one's choice.
[00:42:56] So I just find it as a fun game and a useful exercise to always question your wants. And truly try to find where they come from, because I've found that if you do a little bit of dissecting, you find that you don't really want it as bad as you think you do, or you don't want it for the reasons that you thought you did.
[00:43:18] And so, wants lead to disappointment, but contentment works with the present and being in gratitude and being excited for the unknown.
[00:43:28] Aaron: Yeah. And kind of wants, and maybe even beliefs can come in there like if a child has grown up believing that there's supposed to be a certain occupation because their parents have projected their wants and desires onto them, that can come into play.
[00:43:43] But I wanted to ask you like, is there an easy way to understand or determine whether something is a want of ours or something that isn't in alignment with our energetic makeup?
[00:43:53] Alexander: Well, I think preferences are directly connected to our wants. And another example that I'll give from my life is looking at the things that I succeeded at and got like a record deal, that was pursuing my wants a thousand percent, and not caring what the cost of that was, and being in New York City and being treated with champaign and caviar. And having that experience, but I turned that that deal down, and then I never wanted kids. Even around early teens, I remember having conversations with my friends that did want kids, and I just never did. But then I wound up getting in a relationship in my mid twenties with a woman with two, three year olds, and now they're the best gift that my life has provided for me.
[00:44:40] So this is where I bring this in to say, okay, here's where I got what I wanted with the record deal, the contract, the European tour. And I walked away from it. And then I didn't want the responsibility of kids, especially as a 26 year old, but I did, it was the most fulfilling relationship I've had to date. And the relationship continues after their mom passed, with me and these boys now for over 27 years. And so this is why I like to just look at if you are willing to question your wants, it helps you to pay attention to your blessings that you have. Because when you dissect your wants and you make an exercise out of that, it can make you be appreciative for what you have that other peoples, you might recognize that, other people don't have.
[00:45:33] And that's the vibration that I like to be in and call that the flow. That you're in gratitude for what you have and you're constantly being revealed what might be interesting to experience rather than your wants. And this is really going back to when I studied all the spiritual paths and different religions, there was this constant of learn to be more childlike. And this is the way the J.U.S.T. Philosophy looks at that teaching is that you approach life with this wonder of excitement of anything is possible, the less preferences that we have. The more preference you have then, more than likely, the more resistance you're going to have to persevere through. And that doesn't mean that you shouldn't or you won't get what you want, but it doesn't mean that it'll be what you thought that it was going to be.
[00:46:24] And majority of people that even go four years to get a degree in college, the majority of them realize that their degree isn't what they thought it was going to be, and they're not going to get to do for a job what they always wanted to do. It's quite different.
[00:46:40] Aaron: And I know people deep down inside, they probably know whether something is a preference or a want, but sometimes it's hard to determine that because they believed or they put so much energy into something, like you were saying, going to college if they wanna become a doctor, maybe halfway through they can kind of feel like, oh, maybe this isn't something I wanna do. [Mm-hmm] But they keep doing it because they've invested all that time, time and money. Uh, so is there like a, an easy litmus test for us to ask ourselves and determine if something is a want or a preference?
[00:47:09] Alexander: Well, I think that this is where certain tools, for me, I learned to work very deeply with the pendulum. And again, I come from a time of not believing in pendulum work at all. But fortunately I ran cross a teacher that taught that you can't trust any tool until you can get into non-preference. Because if you utilize any tool and you carry a preference, you have a high likelihood that you're going to affect that tool. And so, that became a practice of mine almost daily to learn to be able to step outside of my preference at any time because my thirst for clarity overrides my interest in what I want.
[00:47:55] And I'm not saying that that thirst for clarity is going to be there for everyone. Some people just want what they want, but my life brought me enough challenges to get through to work towards that of recognizing when I do have a preference, being able to set it to the side if I need to ask, is it for my highest good or is this for the highest good of everyone involved? Because every opportunity isn't meant to be taken necessarily, especially when it seems easy, like when somebody wants to give you something. Like the government a little while back was giving out free light bulbs. Well, I always question when they give stuff away for free and I still like to use plain old incandescent bulbs and they're not giving those types away.
[00:48:44] So see that's an opportunity where that's easy and someone could think that that's in the flow, that our government has our best interest at heart and isn't this beautiful. So this is a personal journey of how one works with resistance, how one sees the flow. And hopefully through this conversation we've just opened up some eyes to a different way to look at it and to realize that there is no certain way. But to understand yourself from an astrological standpoint can be a good path on that because everything you've described with your vinyl experience is directly connected to both your Human Design, and your card makeup. It just seems to be one of the first things that you've actually been able to be highly successful at with minimal energy put in. And very, very little disappointment that I've seen you experience.
[00:49:39] Aaron: And I have to feel like part of that is because it wasn't a want. Like I didn't plan this, I didn't want it to happen, and all the other things I want, I wanted to happen. So I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
[00:49:50] Alexander: Yes. I mean, that's the beauty that I'm talking about is that when we're able to set our wants to the side and see what the universe is supporting and then see that that is in alignment with our design, then it's almost like a roller coaster ride and a willingness to say, Hey, let's see where this goes. And that's what you just described is what I was describing of when I got with Sherry and she had two, three year olds. That wasn't a ride I wanted to get on. But after I did for about nine months, I went, oh, this has something special that I could have never even imagined if I haven't stepped on this ride.
[00:50:23] It was the same with you because I remember introducing the vinyl to you and right away there wasn't necessarily an interest. There was even a question in the quality difference. We went through different tests and then kind of organically, you came to your own conclusion that you were interested in it, but not in a way to make money in the beginning. That's what I've enjoyed is just seeing this natural process happening and to see that it's so fulfilling for you, but it was never a want. It was never something that you created in your mind that you wanted, and that type of fulfillment is different from chasing a want.
[00:51:01] Aaron: So it seems like being in the flow of life can also go hand in hand with pillar one and that tapping into that everything is in Divine Order because within that we are bringing in acceptance that everything is as it should be, and our experiences are happening to us for us to bring growth opportunities so we can even bring in the pillar everyone in every situation can be your teacher if you choose. [Mm-hmm] So, you know, let's bring in the pillars here and talk about how even utilizing these perspectives will actually help you get into the flow of life, if you are feeling like you're outside the flow. Using these pillars will help bring you back.
[00:51:45] Alexander: Yes, and if you are a person that wants to chase your wants, there's no judgment here. My thing is just to be willing to prepare for the resistance, and persevere through that. And many people that have done that and taken that path, maybe they carry some regrets for things they had to do for that, but some people maybe have found contentment in that.
[00:52:09] So, of course, I'm just sharing my experience and experience that of 15 years of working with clients and helping people to- Because one of the main issues is people not feeling fulfilled in their job, or their career, or their relationship. But it is a lack of fulfillment typically, and most people don't know what will fulfill them and that's again why I like to say start with truly being so happy and content with what you have. And even this morning I happened to be driving, because I was traveling this morning before the taping of the podcast, and I saw someone broke down on the side of the road. And in that moment, it was just such an appreciation of the freedom that we do have to move around in this country at this particular time, and I was just went into deep gratitude of what I view as freedom.
[00:53:05] And just that the way that my life has developed and the freedom that I do have in my time and all of that being a conscious intent, working on it for many, many years. So that, that gratitude is what I'm talking about of wherever you are, I think all the listeners have, you have so much to be grateful for that there's so many people that don't have the things that you do. And sometimes we can get especially caught in our wants and forget to be grateful for something as even as simple as just good health.
[00:53:38] Aaron: Yeah. So that contentment is very much in alignment and found within the first pillar, and I guess all the pillars, you know, we could even run through what each one of them is, but all that is going to bring us back into the flow because it is going to remove that "my life would be better if this, [right] if that" because we are, finding contentment and gratitude for where we are and it's the perspective of not needing anything to be different in that moment of time.
[00:54:07] Alexander: Yes, yes. And so, to review those really quick is, number one is everything's in Divine Order, whether I realize it or not, or find the Divine Order in the chaos of life.
[00:54:19] Pillar number two is polarity versus duality that opposites have to exist. So again, the more passionate you are, the more wants you carry. Just be willing to work with those resistance of that polarity that has to exist.
[00:54:33] Pillar Number three is everyone and every situation can be your teacher if you choose to look at it in that way. And the teacher is the resistance. Whatever you're resisting, that the person's saying or they're doing work to get into acceptance with it. And again, acceptance doesn't mean condoning or approving of, it simply means that you stop your resistance. That's when you are gonna begin to see it more clearly.
[00:54:59] Then the next one is emotional responsibility and accountability. From the standpoint that anyone working on themselves in this style of self-development, no one can make them mad. No one can make them sad. No one can make them joyful. That these are all experiences chosen and that Love may be the only feeling. And then if we can look at everything else as an emotion or just an experience, that we want that to limit those emotions and experiences, so we have the experience of Love, of feeling more. That's where contentment is at.
[00:55:35] And then the last one, the fifth one being that everything is vibration. Meaning that nothing is fixed, nothing is stagnant, and that energy is meant to flow. So flowing with the so-called wins in life and the so-called losses, because again, the win and the loss, those labels are perceptions that we all choose to give things.
[00:55:58] Aaron: So at the end of every podcast we like to give kind of like homework or something to do if people want to take the next step and apply the information that we've talked about based on the topic. I mean, I would say go back to episode 51 and if you are not feeling in the flow, possibly go through the process of utilizing the pillars to find out which one you're stuck in and which one that's gonna help you make a perspective shift to get back into the flow and episode 51 does do that.
[00:56:29] Alexander: Okay. Gives a great description of the five pillars. Yeah.
[00:56:32] Aaron: Do you have anything else to add?
[00:56:33] Alexander: No, I think that, you know, as far as homework goes, just question your wants. And that's just a simple internal dialogue. There's not a judgment connected to it. It's not a right or wrong thing.
[00:56:45] It's just, again, I find that when we dissect our wants to get to a point of, why do I like Ford trucks? Or why do I play guitar rather than playing saxophone or something like that? To be willing to open up, like from a musician standpoint to maybe expand and to try another instrument.
[00:57:03] And, the other part of the exercise is to realize that when you resist something, to work with acceptance, and again, separating acceptance from condoning or approving of. That you can't accept something that you had a preference that wished that it would be different. And in that accepting, that doesn't mean that you agree with it. It simply means that you stop your energy leakage through resistance. And that friction is what creates energy leakages.
[00:57:36] Aaron: So I think we all appreciate you guys taking the step to work on you and take responsibility for your emotions and trauma and take that next step towards being in the flow.
[00:57:47] Alexander: Yes. So when you're in the flow, you will be crystal clear in that Spiritual, the Mental, the Emotional, the Energetic, and the Physical.
[00:57:56] Aaron: Thank you all.