If you have been doing self development work honestly and consistently, you may have recognized that you have become more sensitive or empathic to things like your environment, your diet, the contents of tv and social media you consume… so why is this happening if we are doing this work to overcome these types of things? We answer this question and cover a plethora of ways to alter your perspective and carry out the step by step practice to begin managing your environment as you peel away those layers.
[00:00:21] Aaron: Fresh out of the deep, southern freeze that we had last week, we are feeling some more warmer temperatures, which is definitely in a resonance with me, and I think you as well, Alexander.
[00:00:32] Alexander: Yes, yes. It's so welcomed and we're just in the forties, I think. But, after being in single digits, it's quite refreshing.
[00:00:39] Aaron: Definitely tested my patience. [Mm-hmm] And even had some pipes freeze and thankfully that was taken care of pretty, pretty easily. So I didn't freeze exactly, but one thing that of the past episode that we've discussed is SMEEP. And I think that's, that's something that maybe got overshadowed a little bit in our last episode, but we kind of came up with this acronym SMEEP.
[00:01:01] Not sure if it's gonna stick, but did you want to tell everybody what SMEEP meant?
[00:01:05] Alexander: Yes. It's the order of how we see the Five Levels in the J.U.S.T. Philosophy of Overall Wellness of beginning with that Spiritual level and then it goes down into the Mental level, and then it's connected to the Emotional level, which activates the Energetic level, which then creates a weakness, and makes the Physical body more susceptible to injury or disease. And so the first letters or the acronyms of that order is SMEEP. S M E E P. So that's gonna be our new fun word for a while.
[00:01:45] Aaron: Yeah, I just wanted to put that out there in case we utilize it in today's episode. But today, we're definitely talking about something that I have a lot of curiosity about, and it's around sensitivities.
[00:01:57] And, you know, we've talked about being vulnerable before but being sensitive is something that's a little different and we're gonna be talking about it in a little different way. And part of how I wanted to kick this subject off is around how I've found that the more conscious I become in doing this work, and I'm around seven years in, so we're coming up on the seven year anniversary of us meeting in February. So the more I work I do, the more I find myself being more sensitive to things or feeling more things internally that I don't remember ever feeling, prior to meeting you, and prior to beginning my self-development journey.
[00:02:40] And in my mind I'm thinking, well, I feel like the whole point of doing this is to get better and not be as sensitive. Because I feel like the more sensitive we are, the more we're feeling things, the more they potentially are bothering us or we're being more alerted. So it feels like the more work we do, the more work we do, we already have. So I wanted you to come in and comment on this initial kind of perspective that I'm bringing, that the more work we do, the more sensitive we are essentially becoming.
[00:03:10] Alexander: Yes. And what I want to add here is the word responsibility. So I have a saying of, so you think you know more than anyone else in the room, congratulations. You carry the most responsibility of anyone in the room. And another way to look at this sensitivity is that it's a 25 degree day and you just think that you want to feel how the air feels on your skin. And so you take your shirt off or you just pull your sleeve up. But you say that you don't want to feel the cold. You want to feel the breeze, but you don't wanna fill the cold. Well, on a 25 degree day, the cold is going to come with the breeze. So what we're talking here about sensitivity is what many people relate to an empathic nature.
[00:04:04] And so, gifts come in empathic natures and sensitivities that are obstacles come in sensitivities. So for some people that could be pain, or it could be heat, or it could be cold, or it could be tingling sensations. It can be connected to negative emotions or anxiety. But the thing that we need to work to accept is due to the law of polarity, which is the second pillar, polarity versus duality. And with polarity and the understanding of polarity, opposites have to exist. So if you're strengthening your consciousness or working to gain consciousness to be more empathic of your surroundings to have these extra sense perceptions, then you've gotta be willing to pay the cost. And that's like the cold of wanting to feel the breeze on the bear's skin. And what the art in this consciousness or search of that is, is learning to actually be able to gauge your sensitivities, and to engage protection in certain environments or certain situations. And then you're able to disengage that so-called protection when you get out of that environment or around that person.
[00:05:22] So this is truly an art that I feel like most people don't really take the time to understand how long it really takes to, to practice it. And it is something I've been working on for over 25 years. And then when I went through my healing trauma of seven years, it catapulted me because my body would not let me get away. If I experienced the emotion frustration, my chest would hurt, excruciatingly bad. And that's what I feel like happens when somebody goes through a PTSD episode, or something like that, we've reached the level of toxic environment that we can take in. For some people, this is war. For some people it's just being in a very authoritative environment.
[00:06:07] So those types of traumas can come many different ways, but it begins to start to give physical sensations because you've reached a level of input that no more input can be, can be taken in of this type. And for me personally, I had to change every aspect of my life, even down to the music I listened to. The people I had around me. The number of people I had around.
[00:06:33] And so this is part of the rebuilding after I just call it being broken. And you make the decision to build back, so-called stronger, but it's in a different way. And in the past, my strength was in being like a tank or a rock. I just didn't get sick or injured. I could handle high levels of stress, but once I went through Sherri passing, I had reached that level of input and stress, and my body just, I felt like it was breaking down. But I've discussed, you know in great detail, on other podcasts that we've done, you know, more of the specifics of that. But it was a seven year rebuilding and now, you know, it's turning into like 15 years and it's continued to be an ongoing process.
[00:07:19] Aaron: So there's a lot to unpack there, but I did want to kind of touch upon how you talked about how you were like a tank, and you could withstand stress. And now you're much more sensitive. And that's how I have found this journey to be. I was able to endure and have much more willpower and just push through a lot more things than I do now. And so it is kind of in relation to what you were talking about with the wearing the jacket, but you want to feel the breeze or the coldness, but if you're wearing the jacket, you're kind of protected and so we do kind of-
[00:07:54] Alexander: But you Yeah, but you don't get the breeze.
[00:07:56] Aaron: Exactly.
[00:07:57] Alexander: That's, it is always a trade off or always a cost.
[00:08:00] Aaron: So with sensitivity, we're also bringing in the word vulnerability, [Mm-hmm] and the more protection we have the less sensitive we're gonna be. And I think this world builds us up to have protection because we're just stuffing stuff.
[00:08:15] Alexander: Yes.
[00:08:15] Aaron: And all that stuffing is what we would call protection in this way. Right?
[00:08:19] Alexander: And what we lose is vulnerability.
[00:08:21] Aaron: Yep.
[00:08:21] Alexander: And so we've lost that, that vulnerability, that intimacy in our culture. And that's a big part of the just philosophy is increasing both of those, the vulnerability so that you get more intimacy out of your relationships. But in that vulnerability there is, the strength and sensitivity is being aware of your environment and adjusting your environment earlier than you used to.
[00:08:44] So see, all this stress that I used to be able to carry, or maybe you're carrying and now you see you just went through selling a house and it probably affected you internally more than it ever would have. But the thing is, is that all of that's always been going on. We're just not aware of it.
[00:09:04] So see, as awareness increases, it can seem like we get more sensitive and we're dealing with more negative things, but that's not the case. We're just dealing with the negative things that are being created rather than having a buffer and pretending like they don't exist.
[00:09:19] So, so there is an acceptance that has to happen in seeking consciousness, or knowledge, or self-betterment, self-development is that, you're going to learn some new skills and be able to heighten some gifts maybe that you had like, like intuition, like extra sense perceptions. But at the same time, you can't put yourself in a toxic environment as long as you used to because you're going to be more aware of that toxicity coming in. So managing your time, your space, the people that you're around, the food that you eat, the music you listen to, the TV shows that you watch. All of that, I feel like is helps to accept that, all of that really needs to be adjusted to suit your new direction. And then, because the gift is learning not to put yourself in those toxic situations, because in the past, just because you could, did not mean that it was good for you. And just because you couldn't feel what it was doing to you doesn't mean that it wasn't doing something to you.
[00:10:26] Like chloroform is, that's something that can't be smelled, but it can put you to sleep. So that's kind of the way that a lot of people live in our culture is that they can't sense the things until it turns into an actual physical major problem. And this work is about catching it on a much earlier level. Again, the, the Spiritual, the Mental, the Emotional, the Energetic, and then the Physical. So let's not wait till the physical, let's catch it on one of these other levels so it doesn't turn into the physical. And that's where a lot of empathic and sensitive people are living their lives is more on the energetic level than the physical level.
[00:11:10] Aaron: If we're doing this work to expand our consciousness or become a more conscious human, then we're essentially having to go into the unconscious or we're looking at more of the unconscious behavior of ourselves, which would be like our shadow work in a way. [Mm-hmm] But also we end up seeing all the unconscious behavior of everybody around us, of the world, and so there is that kind of polarity that we're bringing in there, right?
[00:11:36] Alexander: Yes. And many people look around and say that oh things are the worst that it's ever been. It's just getting more horrible and more horrible and I like to try to remind again from the polarity view. No, it's always been like this, but similar to what social media has done to bring news to everyone. Just because it wasn't known about, you know, 50, 60, 70 years ago does not mean that it wasn't going on. Now we're just in the times where everything from all over the world gets reported. Many times it's twisted in that report and it creates an emotional effect on people. That's why they feed the people the news the way they do.
[00:12:18] So part of this sensitivity, or part of my experience, was having to unplug from the news and the way that they're feeding so that I could gain that sensitivity to know when something resonated with me and when something didn't. So it was part of the path was getting away from right and wrong and stopping to judge things and just pay attention to whether it resonated with me or not. And when you're getting away from your preferences, and right and wrong, and good and bad, just because something resonates with you one way and it resonates with one of your friends or someone else another way, there's no competition there. Because again, this is a vibrational or frequency based view, the whole philosophy is, and how that energy or subtle energy actually works on this plane.
[00:13:04] Aaron: I'm glad that you brought up empaths because I had that number one on my list to talk about because when I hear the term sensitivity, it brings me to seeing people who are ultrasensitive to things and, and the term empath kind of goes along with that in a way. And I sometimes see people who, on the Human Design, they have their emotional center filled and they have many centers filled. And so energetically they shouldn't be as empathic as they are. But then the way they describe how they interact with the world, it seems like they're ultrasensitive.
[00:13:44] And so, this may explain what those types of people are going through, right? Because if they have started stripping down and working on themselves, they're essentially a raw being or they're getting there and now they're exposed to, all of a sudden, all these influences are coming out or they're not exposed, but they're more aware of that then if they haven't learned the steps that we're gonna get into in the complete conversation of this episode on how to kind of re-armor ourselves with this work, with the J.U.S.T. Philosophy, then they've really just shut themselves down and now they're ultra exposed and there's really no way to defend it in a way, right?
[00:14:26] Alexander: Yes. And something else to add here is many times there has been a trauma at some point of this person's life earlier in life to where I experienced it when I was 37 years old with the passing of a loved one. But somebody could go through that trauma with a very filled in energetically Human Design, like say when they're five or seven years old, and it affect them so much that it so-called flips their polarity and they become extra sensitive to their environment. To where if they would've been in a normal environment, they may not have been that sensitive to their environment until they intentionally started working on themselves. So it is kinda like the view of peeling back an onion and you're peeling back these layers and it can bring up some rawness because, once again, a big portion of this type of self-development is emotional processing. And we've gotta be able to access the emotions and be willing to release them, which the majority of the time is going through them. And from time to time, and for some people, it helps to discuss it with somebody that's holding space. And the main part, from my view, that we'll get deeper into is, the role that judgment plays in emotional release. And I feel like it's imperative that the environment carry no judgment either from the person that is having the release or the person that is supporting them and holding space.
[00:15:55] And if there is, then majority of time I don't feel like there is truly a release. It's just going through the motion, so to say. And that person may have to do that hundreds of times with very little relief.
[00:16:08] Aaron: Is there a difference between somebody who has worked on themselves and stripped down so they're sensitive that way versus somebody like myself who has the emotional centers or the emotional center wide open?
[00:16:20] Alexander: Yes. I mean, it's just a different experience. Some people with the emotions nonactivated such as yourself, that can be something that you, you learn from a child how to manage certain reactions to certain people or certain environments. You may just carry a natural gift to be a little more aware of your environment than the average person.
[00:16:45] I came in differently to where I had the emotional center filled in or activated, and I've always been aware of my environment, but it went from a fear- I remember earlier in life it was that I was kind of afraid of any, any change in my environment. Cause I had the root chakra filled in, in the Human Design. And so anywhere that wasn't my home, I just didn't feel safe in.
[00:17:11] And then later on that developed into an excitement about everywhere I go. I learned to use my subtle energy or my gut feeling to sense a room. And so see that was going through the steps of learning to live in non-preference. And when you're able to set your preferences to the side, then you can sense what is going on much more and more clear without any preference. And that takes a certain amount of time to practice.
[00:17:41] So that fear was shifted from being fearful of my environment to feeling very confident about sussing out my environment and seeing just how I do fit in here. And then the most important thing with any type of impact is to be able to know how much time or the duration to be there. So again, the extra sense perception is, is this the optimal place? Is this the optimal person? Is this the optimal subject? Is this the optimal duration of being in this environment? And those are the questions that, for many years, I worked with training to ask myself over and over, periodically in social situations, and I would normally get a response at some point that was not positive and that showed me, okay, it's time for me to start making my exit plan. Because managing your environment is the masterclass of being an empath.
[00:18:39] Aaron: And so by becoming sensitive, like you're saying, we start to realize our gifts, and this is even, like you mentioned earlier, with intuition. Like I've always wanted to work on my intuition, but in order to do that, I have to do this work so I can even sense it. Because if I have so much repressed trauma and emotion then I don't know if I'm hearing that or if it's a trigger or what. And like you talked about your solar plexus and mine is very similar. And that's how we respond to our environments through the Human Design. It says it on our charts and other people, if you want your Human Design chart, contact Alexander and you can see what type you are that we talk about a lot and your profile numbers and even what your response type is.
[00:19:26] Alexander: Yes. And another way to know this is just when you drop in an elevator or a rollercoaster or a happening experience like that, there's a sensation that happens in most people's bodies somewhere. And ours, like we're saying, is in this emotional solar plexus, in the top of my abdomen. And anytime that tightens up, I've trained myself to be sensitive to, there's something in my environment that doesn't make my field just comfortable. So see, I don't have to go into negativity, don't have to go into any fear, it's just an awareness. Then I'll normally spend some time in that awareness and I can normally sense out what or who it is and make some kind of energetic adjustment.
[00:20:07] But if I can't do all that, then like I said earlier, I work to remove myself from that situation because being an empath, I don't want to absorb the energy that I don't understand what I'm absorbing. So this is where the responsibility changes. The responsibility changes that it's a need to manage your environment so that you can stay vulnerable and open. Because if you begin to absorb too much toxicity, you start to close down. And then basically you're shutting down the toxicity that you've already absorbed in, you're locking it in. And that's another thing that from the protective standpoint, that most people don't realize that they're locking in whatever they've been absorbing for many, many years.
[00:20:53] Aaron: So even though we've kind of opened up and talked about sensitivity as almost being like, uh, I don't wanna say negative thing, but uh, challenging thing, like the more work we do, the more sensitive we become and the more challenging it could be to manage all the sensitivities that we gain.
[00:21:09] We do gain the gifts through our energetic makeup that we have from birth, which is like our response mechanism and our intuition and all of that. So, coming up on the complete conversation, we will get into more about how to manage being sensitive, even taking in the responsibility that we now have to manage these things. How to work through managing our environment and when we can open up our sensitivities and when to pull back a little bit and what that even looks like. How do we pull back so that we're not pushing down emotion because that's not what we wanna do. And we also don't want to detach, so we want to do this consciously. So we'll be touching upon these subjects.
[00:21:50] Alexander: Yes, looking forward to it.
[00:21:52] Aaron: Thank you everybody for joining us and diving deeper into this conversation about sensitivities on the complete conversation.
[00:21:59] Alexander: Yes, I want to thank everybody for joining us as well. Because this subject is really turning into a fun one to discuss.
[00:22:05] Aaron: During the complete conversation here, we are going to be talking about, as you do the work, you become more sensitive to your environment and things that you weren't before. And we're gonna be talking about how to manage these sorts of sensitivities that, that we will start feeling and how to, like you said, respect them. So that we're not judging them and kind of also so we know what to expect.
[00:22:29] But firstly, let's talk about just some examples of sensitivities that we may incur. So what are some that you became aware of the more you did the work, Alexander?
[00:22:39] Alexander: Well, I'm gonna start first with, from a trauma response because that was the most intense in my personal experience. And it was after a major loss of death of my most major loved one. And, the way I explain it is that, I was in an year relationship, extremely intimate and advanced. We did this kind of work together. Is that I got used to giving her a certain kind of energy and I got used to receiving a certain kind of energy from her. And then when she was gone, see there was nowhere for my energy to go and there was nowhere for me to receive the type of energy that I had been receiving.
[00:23:21] So this is how I look at PTSD situations, or very post-traumatic situations where the mind literally can't comprehend in real time what is happening or what just happened. And it creates what I see as a disruption through the connection of those five different levels. And therefore there has to be healing done on all five of those levels to bring that cohesion back together. And that's my exact experience. So with her passing, frustration had reached a level that I'd never experienced before, because up to that point, I really hadn't experienced much in life that I couldn't figure out or overcome.
[00:24:07] So when she said, I put my life in your hands. I trust you to heal me. That wasn't something I asked for, but I didn't back down from Sherry saying that to me. So when it didn't work out the way that I preferred it to with her living and us having a way to teach people to, to deal with cancer in another way, it was traumatizing for me. I couldn't process it. And I went through a lot of anger. A lot of shattering beliefs, things that I had been following for quite a long time. But the physical sensations was excruciating chest pain. Was heart palpitations that my heart would just start racing for no reason. It was traveling pains that would feel like a hot knife, like stabbing me in my side, and it might stay there for a week to three weeks. And then it might move down to my groin and then it might move up to my back in between my shoulder blades. And I never knew the timing of how long it was gonna be there.
[00:25:12] I've worked since with a lot of clients that have been labeled with what's called fibromyalgia, which is traveling pains or, or misunderstood pains. And I happen to feel that all of these are connected directly to the emotional level. Mine happened to wind up being the emotion frustration, the chest pain in the chest. But there was also shame and guilt that was part of the traveling pains. There was worry in my abdomen or second chakra around me having a heart attack. And the disappointment of people that love Sherry and all the people that I felt like I, that I let down. So there was a lot of guilt in there as well.
[00:25:54] So all of these negative emotions have different pains or different warning signs, I like to call them rather than pains. And I've experienced a lot of them. Now sometimes, taking it from another standpoint, is when somebody just starts working on themselves. Maybe they haven't gone through a major trauma in their life to that extent, and they're just wanting to self-develop. And those sensitivities can show up and this might be a good time for you to kind of come in.
[00:26:24] I know that sometimes it can be heat, it can be cold, it can be tingling, it can be types of pain. Many times it's connected to emotions. Anxiety is very, very common. People feeling anxious because again, if somebody's an emotional empath and they get around anxious people or anxious environments like airports, or police stations, or government buildings, or things like that, see they can go into a panic attack, it can be called, and not even understand why. And it's the environment of the energy that they're around. So what could you feel like that you could share that might help the listeners, from your standpoint?
[00:27:03] Aaron: I think in certain places like you're discussing, I can sometimes feel like overly distracted and outside my body, almost like I'm watching myself in third person because I can't be grounded enough when there's a lot of energies around and it's kind of chaotic. So I can't like, be grounded and make conscious decisions, in a way. It's like a whirlwind kind of thing in my head.
[00:27:28] Alexander: Mm-hmm. And that's interesting. I wanted to come in there because I actually have the mind center that is Nonactivated and yours is activated. Correct?
[00:27:36] Aaron: Yes.
[00:27:36] Alexander: So that's where it would seem logically from the study of the Human Design that that would almost be flip flop between you and I.
[00:27:43] Aaron: Yes. And then, of course the tightening and the solar plexus I think is around frustration. And I wanted to bring up that, one thing that I've noticed the more work I do and I start to understand this work on the mental level, I think I have it down and I think I understand the concepts, but then I'm still feeling these pains and this tightness. Even though, like in my head I'm, I feel like I'm practicing acceptance and I, and I get the idea of what I'm supposed to do. But I think what's happening is I'm not, I haven't accepted it on all Five Levels. And maybe on the mental I'm like 80 to 90%, but it's still dripping down into all the levels and alerting me that something's not right here.
[00:28:27] Alexander: Yes. And I'm so glad you brought that up because I do want to go back through the SMEEP acronym, which is the order of the levels that we process, through the just philosophy, we talk about so much. And it does start with that spiritual level. That I would like to suggest to listeners that anytime you have a discomfort or a new sensation in your body, consider what you may not be trusting or where you may not have faith, or where you may think something in your life or somebody in your life isn't the way that it should be. Because again, the J.U.S.T. Philosophy just brings in on the spiritual level to focus on faith, trust, and non-judgment. And that will bring gratitude and to practice gratitude.
[00:29:12] And so in these situations, many times, our pain or discomfort of the message that the body is bringing us is a message that there's somewhere that we're not carrying enough trust or enough faith, or there's something or someone that we're judging. Therefore, we're not in gratitude. So if you just think of like gratitude as a certain vibration, we can call it a high vibration, we can call it a fast vibration, whatever you wanna call it. And then you think of discontentment as just a different or opposite vibration. So we'll call it a low vibration or a slow vibration.
[00:29:47] Well see if you're not in gratitude, then the majority of the time very few people are in contentment. That's what the J.U.S.T. Philosophy really searches to help bring out is that contentment rather than seeking joy. Because if you seek joy, you've got to go through sorrow. And so, in this situation to be able to find what you are in resistance to, basically, can shift the next level, which is the mental level. And that's where you said that, hey, I'm already about 80, 90% there. So if you could find like where you're not in trust or faith or you are judging, then right away you're a little bit further ahead in the mental and you can go, oh yeah, I'm ready to shift this perception. Then you shift the perception to something is wrong, to no, I see how this is useful in my life now.
[00:30:37] And that's the step there, is it's not positive thinking, it's not pollyanna, it's that you see the vibration that it's going to bring into your life. Like for instance, say for an example that you saw that there was a certain judgment that you had made. You even mentioned one earlier today that you realized that was judgment, but you didn't realize it right away. Do you happen to remember?
[00:31:03] Aaron: Is it around a relationship not being what I want or wanting it to be different or thinking that I could control and steer the relationship in the right direction?
[00:31:13] Alexander: Yes, it, it well, we can use that. That's not the one I was talking about, but I think that's good cause it's the best of intentions that, that yes, you feel like you can direct the relationship and if this person will just listen, you can take it to a good place. And I've been there as well. And with the right person that can work. But many times there's an obstacle there. But okay, say that you, you see that and you go, okay, I can see that I'm judging this person because, maybe I think I know more than they do. I need to kind of back up and give this person a little bit more respect. That's the non-judgment, to trust that they're in my life for a reason and to have faith that you know, we'll either work out or that we won't. So see, that perception is much different than, I'm just going to lead this and I know more than this person.
[00:31:57] So when you shift in that perception, it's going to change your vibration that you're sending out to your body. And so when you shift your perception, you shift the emotion that this is something wrong or this is something so-called, right. And in shifting that emotion, that's what shifts that literal vibration that you are sending out into the world, but more importantly, that you're consistently sending through your system.
[00:32:24] And then that is going to stop the vulnerability or the holes, wherever it is in your aura, around the certain chakras, that to where that makes the physical body more susceptible to disease or injury. And if there is already an injury there, it's going to expediate the healing of it.
[00:32:44] So this is how that SMEEP acronym works, is that you always go to the top and you work your way down and it kind of does this flushing. And that's the way it feels like to me as I go through those different levels. And I think that this helps with exactly what you were talking about, where most people get stuck, that they feel like they look at it differently. Maybe they've changed their perception so they feel like they've worked on it, but they haven't adjusted all these other levels and therefore they're getting lesser results.
[00:33:14] Aaron: Yeah, so in my case, it was mainly around the lack of acceptance, because I was still judging it. Like in my head, I know the right thing to do. Or the thing I need to do to carry out, to become more conscious and to get there. But there was still a part of me that was still judging it and that's why it was still not fully through all Five Levels.
[00:33:36] Alexander: Yes. And that's why I feel like that, you know, there's so many so-called spiritual people or religious people that feel like they're working on themselves or trying to be better people, but truly paying attention to that judgment part and to understand that faith and trust is very challenging to be practiced without an obstacle in your life.
[00:33:59] And so the practice of gratitude is, you know, very, very connected. Because I know a lot of people that are thankful in their life, but they still carry a lot of judgment. And so those can like be seen as like canceling each other. And then if, when things get challenging, if you're not able to practice your faith and your trust, then see that spiritual level really isn't being practiced as much as most people feel like they are. To where most people are practicing more in that mental level and really not shifting in that spiritual level. And I think that that's a highlight in this conversation.
[00:34:36] Aaron: I think everybody thinks about when they hear sensitive or sensitivity is people crying. And maybe that's to movies. Maybe that's seeing, you know, maybe a dead animal on the side of the road or hearing something that happened to somebody else. And they kind of feel those emotions. And I think that's what people attribute to being an empath is being able to almost like when you're able to feel that same emotion that the other person has gone through, versus just kind of have compassion. It's almost like a different level. But, what could be going on with somebody who cries to a lot of stuff like that?
[00:35:09] Alexander: Well, many people that that happens to in the Human Design does have the emotional center nonactivated similar to you, but sometimes it can be trauma driven as well. Because even people that have it activated, they're still very in tune with that. So, that really points to a level of vulnerability that the person is willing to either willing or not aware of that they live in. And I've worked on both my sympathy and empathy very heavily since going through my own healing trauma and to the point of I see and promote crying as being a very big sign of strength when you're doing crying as a release rather than crying as a victim.
[00:35:54] And there are those two major different types of crying. And victim crying, unfortunately, will never dry up. That person will cry over that person, that loss, that situation every time it gets brought up. But in processing crying, you're going through the true release of the trauma of it, and then to get to the beauty of the teaching of it.
[00:36:18] So that's why for many, many years and ongoing, even talking about my loss with Sherri is that I enjoy talking about that time of my life so much because it keeps me reminded of where I'm at with it. And if while I'm talking about it, there comes some emotion that may need to be released, then see that may be something that's just been laying dormant for quite a while, and I always want to present the opportunity for an emotional release to happen like that, but 95% of the time that I'm discussing any time from that period, it's about what I've learned, how I've grown. It's all the so-called positive stuff because I've already gone through releasing all of the traumatic stuff.
[00:37:03] Aaron: All right, now let's transition into ways we can take responsibility for our sensitivity as we do this work and the more sensitive we become. I wanted to get into like our environment and how we're probably going to need to start to tune more into our environment and then start practicing when and how long to stay in certain environments and then probably have to remove ourselves when it starts to become overbearing so we're not becoming too sensitive in a way.
[00:37:36] Alexander: Or that we're not absorbing too much of the energy of whatever is causing us alarm. One of the first parts of this that I wanna mention is to run these questions like through your mind consistently, periodically when you're in different environments. And that is, is this the optimal place? Is this the optimal person? Is this the optimal subject to be discussing? Is this the optimal duration? Have I already been discussing it long enough. And if you ask yourself that question from time to time, it can help you. Like I said, if you get to a certain point and you're that area, like I was talking about with me in the top of my abdomen, if I just go, is this still the optimal, uh, duration to be talking about this subject? Because maybe I've been talking to somebody about some specific subject for 30 minutes or so and I feel a tightening tighten up. Then I'll look to start wrapping that part of the conversation up and just shift into like another subject. See, it's a very subtle like type of shift, but that tightening in my abdomen may be like a sign letting me know that we're starting to reach a point of this person being full, but they may not realize it.
[00:38:57] And sometimes when people get full of a subject, they start turning into a doubter or a challenger in that way. And you can sometimes avoid that in a simple conversation by staying sensitive to your environment. And same thing that you may be talking to a group of people and then you get isolated talking to someone and you might ask yourself, is this the optimal subject to be discussing with this person? And you see that it may be challenging their religious beliefs or something. So again, you can catch it and say, hey, let me shift this to more like a subject that they may be into. And this is all directly connected to conscious communication and optimizing your energy field, all Five Levels in your Wellness.
[00:39:45] So see, this isn't to gain, this isn't to, to win something. It isn't ego-based. It isn't monetary based. It's Wellness based and communication based. And that's what the whole J.U.S.T. Philosophy is mainly about.
[00:40:00] Aaron: So we're just coming out of the holidays and I'm sure many people spent it with their families and we talk about how families offer us the best opportunity for growth because they know how to push our buttons. And so how would somebody utilize this if they were around their family and that environment may not be optimal for them?
[00:40:19] Alexander: Well, one of the main things is to keep those four or five questions in mind and running them, and then it might be good and helpful to set a time limit. Some people have them on their phones or on the watches to just a vibration to where maybe, especially for very sensitive people, to set a timeframe of every 10 or 15 minutes to make an adjustment in who you are around or where you're standing. That could be 30 minutes or it could be 45 minutes, but it could be something to where you excuse yourself to go to the restroom or you excuse yourself to go step outside. But the main thing is that you're breaking up the energetic connections of people sitting in specific chairs or around a table or in social gatherings. Many times people will just like come to a certain area and just stay there. And so that's another really useful point for empaths or sensitive people is to get outside, especially if you can. But like I said, remove yourself to go get some water. Remove yourself to go to the restroom. It can be done in a way to where it doesn't bring any attention. Because you want to do the majority of this work without bringing attention to it, because it works ideally when everybody else is being exactly themselves and they're not focused on what you're doing.
[00:41:40] So then in setting up those 15, 20, 30 minute like little intervals to give yourself breaks, every time you go away, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel tired? Do you feel drained? Do you feel energized? Do you feel heavy? Do you feel light? And then when you go back in, what you're focusing on subtly is anytime you start to feel that vibe shift. And if that vibe starts to shift before that timer goes off 15 minutes, then remove yourself again and go, oh yeah, I'm gonna go get, get something else to drink. Can I offer anybody something? And so you can still be very social, you can still be very so-called normal. It is just really about being mobile.
[00:42:27] And I like to share that one of the main things that we can in our self-development, learn to manage is our environment and instead of trying to manage the people around us, manage the environment and always make sure that you have a way to shift your vibration by simply removing yourself from a room or from a conversation. You know, stepping outside in as many subtle ways to be able to do it.
[00:42:54] Aaron: So would this include- because I know at the beginning of my self-development work, I realized, or I became more sensitive to how much I judged my family for who they were and the more conscious I became, the more I saw and noticed their unconscious behavior, and that would affect me. [Mm-hmm] And so does this include, like you going to dinner, your dad says something unconscious, and if that triggers you, you just get up and walk out?
[00:43:22] Alexander: Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be to that extreme because again, there's opportunities to remove yourself, to go to the restroom, to step outside. Like all of those are buffers to keep you from going through this emotional reaction. Like just going, I'm just going to get up and leave.
[00:43:38] And unfortunately, many times people will try to buffer this stuff, but see, they're not truly using any kind of technique. They're just putting up with it, putting up with it, and then finally there does line drawn and there's an emotional reaction that happens. See, everything that I'm suggesting is to stay away from that level getting higher and higher. It's that you keep it low.
[00:44:01] On music or audio equipment we have like a graph that goes from green lights to yellow lights to red lights. And you can't be in the red or it creates static. That's exactly the way that I like to look at my vibration. I always want to keep it in the green. As soon as it gets in the yellow, I want to make an adjustment because I do not want to be close to the red and the static. And that red and static is where people's emotional reactions are.
[00:44:29] Okay, so in this situation to where a father elicits a reaction in you or in me, more than likely we would see ourselves in that. And then maybe we worked on not to do that. And so then we carry anger or we carry bitterness that, hey, you're the one that taught me that, and you're still doing that. So again, yes, you're not as good as I am and I'm not going to be around this. I'm going to make a stand. See, that's not going to help anybody involved. For their overall good involved, if you worked with acceptance and you're able to be in that and see it, and not judge it, but accept it, then what might happen is the dad might recognize in you that you don't act like that anymore. And it could come in a conversation of, hey, what did you do to stop being seen as like forceful or rude or whatever it is. And see that can open the door to change for everybody involved. But I have found that it's very, very important to make people feel accepted first, and that's why non-judgment and non-preference is such a big part of this philosophy.
[00:45:45] And again, accepting people for who they are does not mean that you agree with them or you condone the action. It's just simply that acceptance stops a frictional energy. And it's hard to describe, but that frictional energy is like somebody walking up to you and pushing you. It makes us wanna push back. But acceptance energy doesn't do that. And again, acceptance doesn't mean approval of or condoning.
[00:46:13] Aaron: It seems like what we're talking about here is just practicing or how to practice the philosophy to the extent of our boundaries before we get like you described, the metaphor of the lights. So we're constantly pushing our boundaries of, and noticing where we are and how far along we are in our personal growth around certain subjects. Because the more conscious we become, the more sensitive we become, and then the more we do the work, like you've said, it can take up to a hundred times, this is one of those times. Each time we're slowly gauging and noticing how far along we are on certain triggers of ours.
[00:46:52] Alexander: Yes. And another thing with that analogy with the graph or the lights is that as time and as years goes on, that so-called green span becomes bigger and the red span becomes smaller.
[00:47:07] So as time goes on, you're able to expand that, that you can stay comfortable in to where you might need to take a break every 10 minutes for those really sensitive people. After you practice this stuff five to seven to 10 years, then you might be able to stay around those people 45 minutes before they have the same effect on you that they used to at 10 minutes.
[00:47:29] And like I said, the goal is that you learn where to be able to be open and extremely vulnerable. And then when to like go into just a little bit of protection, or not necessarily even protection, but giving yourself more space in between the people or the situations.
[00:47:48] So sometimes when I go into social situations, I feel good about being very close to the people that I'm talking to. And then other times I feel more comfortable like being on the stage and maybe a little bit further from them. So, that can be gauged by different social situations. And then there's always suggestions like to play games or to like to bring in a suggestion to shift the energies when you don't necessarily want to be so connected to one certain person in a certain way, but you don't want to make a scene about it.
[00:48:21] So this is just truly an art of, I like to call it, it's almost like interior decorating that everywhere you go, you're just managing the energies of the conversation of the people. See, you're not managing them, you're managing their energies by where you place yourself in those energies. And see all of this is empowering to bring one back to their Authentic Self, to stand in your power, and not be manipulated by the energies that are in the room. That you can still be sensitive and feel those energies, but you don't have to go into alert. You don't have to go into fear. You simply go, oh yeah, I just need to step outside for about five or 10 minutes and then I can come back in for another 15 minutes. And yes, I can make this whole four hour family experience better than it's ever been simply by managing the conversations, the people, and the situations that I put myself in and setting myself up to be able to remove myself without bringing a lot of attention.
[00:49:26] Aaron: And I think a lot of what we've just been talking about is responding to events or people or places when you're in them. But what about like a more proactive approach? Like would you say like, setting boundaries could be a part of this?
[00:49:40] Alexander: Yeah. That can be as simple as certain topics that are sensitive topics and most people know what their family, what sensitive topics are.
[00:49:48] In my experience, I just chose to not discuss certain topics. I went through a four year span to where I didn't give my opinion at all in any social or family situations. And when I was questioned about it, or judged about it, I just would tell them I'm really practicing to listen a lot more than speak and it became a discipline of mine. And that was true. And I felt like that was a teaching or it was an example that I feel like most everybody can listen more than they speak, because our culture is such a competitive culture that most people are busy thinking about the next thing they're going to say rather than listening to the person truly and communicating, in the conversation.
[00:50:34] For me it became a lifestyle. And that's why this is called a philosophy. Because that's really what this is, is when you have a different view of life and you're working for a more harmonious way of life, and it goes beyond the conceptual level. And that's why we break it down into these Five Levels of the complete being. And that becomes more of a lifestyle than any type of belief system.
[00:50:58] Aaron: I would say also maybe checking in with yourself before going to an event to see if you have the energy to withstand possibilities that could happen around your sensitivities just to check in to see if you're strong enough to kind of manage them in a conscious way.
[00:51:16] Alexander: Yes, because again, before you go to any kind of battle, you need to be well fed and well rested. And I'm not suggesting to, to do this level of work when you're not well fed or you're well rested. And so being aware of that and being aware of how well rested you are and I believe it's called, I've heard people call it hangry when they get hungry and it makes them kind of angry. People's hunger level can certainly affect certain people's emotions.
[00:51:43] So yes, doing just a self check before the event, whether that might be days before that you start, but certainly the day of and then it always helps, like right before you enter, to just take a few moments to take a few breaths. I like to use vocal toning myself, which is just breathing in for about four seconds and then breathing out for about eight seconds. But keeping a slow, steady tone of a vowel sound like, Ooh or ah. That's very calming and centering for me, and that can be done in just a few seconds. Some people like reciting mantras, some people like reading a Bible verse. Whatever it is that inspires you but reminds you, hey, you're supported. You're solid in who you are. You don't need to go prove yourself in here. And remember to be open to allow everybody to be exactly who they are. And so even those words would be a beautiful mantra or a phrase to just say before interacting with other people, just to remind you yourself to stay centered.
[00:52:45] Aaron: And one thing I think people might run into is possibly detaching in a situation. To stay more into it without having, you know, their sensitivities pushed. So one instance could be in a family gathering if they feel like they have to sit there the whole time, like maybe there's expectations of them, they may choose to detach rather than stay in and manage those sensitivities. Right?
[00:53:09] Alexander: Yes. And that's why keeping the focus that it's about managing your environment and keeping the focus off of trying to manage people. And that's even connects to managing yourself. That seeing that, my suggestions right off is to manage your environment. Continuously push yourself to raise that bar of like, yeah, how long you can stay around that person or in that environment. But again, I'm talking about years of practicing this work rather than just a few times.
[00:53:40] So, practice the extending the duration over many, many years, but be very kind to yourself again to learn to remove yourself or make an adjustment as soon as you feel the first sign of discomfort or with me, and I think Aaron said as well, just the tightening in that solar plexus is my very first sign to, hey, time to make an adjustment. And that keeps me in that green of those lights to where I don't even get into the yellow, where it's not even close to the red or the static or the friction.
[00:54:13] Aaron: And I just wanted to ask, why wouldn't people want to detach? I mean, there might be instances where that might be the best solution, in an event of extreme trauma. But why wouldn't, you know, just being at dinner and maybe your dad and your brother are having a discussion about politics and you don't want to get into it. Why wouldn't detachment be the best option?
[00:54:32] Alexander: Yeah. And that may be a good option. I just happen to feel that when the term detached is there, then the term lesson or learning leaves. And detachment is necessary for survival in certain situations. So I think that that's what many people do is they choose to just check out or detach or go, I'm not even going to talk about that. But see it's the attitude. Rather than just sitting there calmly and going, I'm gonna listen to my dad and my brother discuss this. I don't have a dog in the fight. I'm not going to carry a preference. I'm clear in how I see that subject, and so therefore I don't have nothing to defend.
[00:55:10] And see, that's a different vibration to be in than, oh, I'm not even gonna listen to this. I'm not even gonna get into this conversation. See, that's still resistance. And wherever resistance is, most of the time there's gonna be something growing that you really don't want growing. You've got to accept to release the friction so that if you're able to listen to a conversation of maybe both views you don't agree with.
[00:55:36] It's very similar to how I remember when, you know, we first started hanging out, where I was with watching sports. I'd gotten really far away from watching sports. And you were still into watching sports pretty intensely. And I'd share with you that I got to the point to where the only time I watch sports is when I don't have a favorite team that I'm pulling for that I enjoy the players, I enjoy the plays, but I'm not affected no matter who wins or who loses.
[00:56:04] And I think over years, see, that's just an adaptation of my experience. But I'm having the same experience watching sports as I have my whole life. But I chose to perceive it differently, which changed the emotional reaction, which changed the energetic reaction, which changed how it affected me physically.
[00:56:23] And I think that you've even gone through a transition with that. And what we're talking about with managing these sensitivities is exactly what you've done and how you approach sports. And how would you say it has differed over these years?
[00:56:37] Aaron: I think, well, when people see me watch sports, they say I'm not as fun. But, I did give like a little like fist clench one time in the last couple weeks while watching sports. But other than that, it doesn't control my emotions like it used to. Because it used to be like a whole weak thing. If my team didn't win, then I was gonna be angry the whole week. And, and that just felt gross to me.
[00:57:01] Alexander: Right.
[00:57:02] Aaron: And so I've kind of taken my power back.
[00:57:03] Alexander: And would you say that you've done that through the act of detachment or through management and perception shift. How would you say those two would differ or where would you say that's at?
[00:57:16] Aaron: I would say it's actually to the point that I wanted to bring up next, which is watching yourself go through that. Like if you are experiencing your father and brother talking about politics and it's not the way, you know, you like it, if you're working on yourself, you're gonna go through a process where you're analyzing how you feel as they're saying the words. You're like, hmm, why does this bother me as much? Right? Why? Why does that feel weird? [Mm-hmm] And it's was the same way with sports. It was like when something "bad happened", I would be like, man, I don't like that burning sensation. Do I want like, because some guy dropped a ball that I want to experience a burning sensation in my stomach. Like why am I allowing this to happen?
[00:57:55] Alexander: Because that's a great example of giving your power away and that shifts into people in their workspace and somebody else's opinion, and it weighs so much and it drains them emotionally, energetically, physically, spiritually, mentally, all those different levels. And so, that's what has been fun in that transition, because I didn't feel that you did this through detachment, because if you're analyzing, you can't be detached. So see, if you're analyzing, you're shifting perception even while you're gathering the information, and that's a willingness to see this differently.
[00:58:29] So yeah, if a ref or an ump makes a bad call, I've had that ruin, like beach vacations in the past, during NFL playoff games when I was such a Steelers fan, and they lost to the Raiders in the AFC Championship over a bad call. But see, the refs, the umps, all of those calls, that's all part of the sport. And nobody is, a hundred percent of people aren't gonna be satisfied with any call that any ref or ump makes, because as it's against their team. Even if it's a real call, most people will still complain about it. So it becomes what I see as you're actually getting more intimate with what you're experiencing, which is the sport rather than the team camaraderie, the so-called loyalty to the town, to whatever it is, it becomes more about the actual event than the propaganda.
[00:59:27] Aaron: Yeah. Almost like, a purist view where you're looking at or you're inspired or appreciating the athletic ability and the training that these people put in and the moves and catches that they make versus like the participating in the tribalism, which is almost like, in a way, it's drama. it's almost like gossip in a way cuz you're sharing a perspective with a group of people. But it's not about like truth and it's not Authentic. It's like just a shared view.
[00:59:56] Alexander: It's a type of intimacy that our culture has nurtured to where it's very surface level. But all you people like the same team or the same view that I like, therefore I like you, and these people, they're not as good as us cause they like another team or different view. And that's the way that I want to in beginning to wrap up this episode that I want to bring to people's attention. That if you're able to look at every situation in life, like people are just pulling for different sports teams. Most people especially that's not into sports, they can think that sports is so silly in how people get so worked up, but they could take that same analogy and put it to the workspace, the family. And just if somebody has different political views, just to go, oh, you like the Steelers and you like the Cowboys, I don't like either one of 'em, so I'm just gonna sit here and listen to you two like bicker it out, so to say, and actually learn something and be entertained and practice not being emotionally triggered and those types of things.
[01:00:57] So this is an opportunity to take, and I know that Aaron's going to continue and I will, these areas of our lives that we have picked to focus, sports is one of them that I knew was worth talking about, and that now we can even enjoy something like that together in a completely different way, and it becomes so much more exciting when you're talking, like I said, about the sport, as it is, rather than the teams and not wanting to accept the plays the players for as they are actually happening in real life.
[01:01:32] And this is such a great analogy for the office life to family life, blah, blah, blah. So I've really enjoyed breaking this one down.
[01:01:39] Aaron: Yeah. And as we're trying to do now at the end of every episode, maybe giving a little bit of homework or a way that people can apply the subject and what we're talking about, how to do something to their life starting now, even if it's just something small or bringing consciousness into a part of life where it may not have been.
[01:01:57] So what was something that we could offer people out there to start practicing as soon as they hear this episode?
[01:02:03] Alexander: Okay, this is gonna be a big one, but this will bring you so much reward in the long term. Go to somebody or the next time in a conversation an opposite view that comes up. And we can even bring something as simple but as serious as like the vaccine.
[01:02:22] That's still a sensitive topic for lots of people. And when you run across somebody that has an opposite view of you, to practice receiving them. And knowing that if you know your truth, you are not challenged by the other person's view. If you believe your truth, you can be very challenged by somebody else's belief.
[01:02:48] So see, I happen to feel that knowing can't be challenged, but belief can. But once you know something, then I can allow anybody to think that the sky is brown as much as they want to because I see it as blue. But if somebody else goes, it's purple. I'm not going to argue with them. I'm gonna allow that person to see the sky, or to see the grass, or to see whatever perception anyway they want to, not because I'm afraid of conflict, but that I want people to feel received first.
[01:03:24] And I have proven in my time of being of assistance to people, that people find my assistance much more receptible when they feel received first. And so I don't want to be part of the friction of competition. I simply want to present something if somebody's interested in expanding on that, I want to expand. Or otherwise, if they have a different view, then I truly want to learn from their view. And so I've changed any kind of competition to an interest of, oh, please explain your view of that. And that can be actually very entertaining when you are receptive to truly listening to their expression, and then see if that doesn't shift over time to them maybe asking you questions about your perception.
[01:04:13] This starts to lead to a conscious conversation.
[01:04:17] Aaron: And I would even throw in that one thing that's helped me in that situation is the acceptance of, if I have this view, somebody's definitely going to have the opposite view just by the laws of physics and how energy works.
[01:04:29] Alexander: So yes, and that's connected to of course, the second pillar of back to polarity versus duality.
[01:04:35] Aaron: So anyway, appreciate you guys sticking along for our conversation on sensitivity and hopefully there was something learned and we can start managing our sensitivities and grow our consciousness.
[01:04:46] Alexander: Much love to your environments.