In this episode of the Wise Whys podcast, we delve into the fascinating exploration of astrological and energetic blueprints to help you gain clarity in areas of your life where you seek growth and development, helping you embark on an empowering journey toward personal fulfillment and contentment.
[00:00:21] Aaron: What is the purpose of our astrological makeup or our energetic makeup that we talk about here on the Wise Whys Podcast? I am Aaron. Along with me is Alexander.
[00:00:32] Alexander: Welcome everyone, this is going to be an interesting show because I'm a proponent of utilizing the planetary aspects and learning from many different forms of astrology and the Human Design and Destiny Card system are talked about a lot on the podcast here. So I've been looking forward to getting deeper into this and the questions that may arise.
[00:00:51] Aaron: Yeah. So what is the purpose? Because it's helpful to understand who you are, how you are made on that astrological plane, where the planets were aligned and the energies that they were giving off at the time of your birth. But, what good does that do if we're not using it for any benefit in our lives. I mean, I think some people could get benefit by understanding that the thoughts about themselves have some backing. Like, a confirmation where maybe my family told me all throughout my childhood that I shouldn't be a certain way, but internally that I knew I was a certain way. And then when I looked up my astrology, I've realized that I was kind of made that way. [Mm-hmm.] So yeah, that can be a confirmation in a environment where people are kind of telling you that you shouldn't be that way.
[00:01:42] Alexander: Sure. And as easily as it can be a confirmation, it can be new knowledge. Because there's things in our astrological charts, and I want to come from a very demystifying standpoint, because if you look at it from an energy standpoint and frequencies, that each planet puts off a different frequency. So, it makes sense that the alignment, when you take your first breath, there's certain influences that's happening due to the positioning of these planets. And by the positioning, it's how far they're away from us or how close they are to us. And as we go through our astrological year, it's the same thing halfway through our astrological year, we're the furthest away from our alignment and then right at our birthday, we're the closest to that alignment again. And that can be very useful when working to make decisions or make changes in your life to simply understand what the universe is supporting.
[00:02:38] So, whether someone is looking for confirmation or they're looking to expand their knowledge of themselves, that's what we're kind of going to be discussing in today's podcast, is about just how to utilize this and to bring out that there are actually multiple ways to utilize it. And then in the complete conversation we're going to get into how the just philosophy really focuses on utilizing these tools.
[00:03:05] Aaron: Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, because it is a more grounded approach. It's not that we're kind of, you know, head in the clouds, just talking about these aspects and just how much fun it is to learn about yourself. We're actually grounding in that information. So, it is, I guess you could say it's more of a like, scientific or a philosophical approach where we're like, Okay, well what do we do with this information? How do we use it to benefit our lives? To improve our relationships, our communication? How do we become better humans all around with this information?
[00:03:40] And it does come from also we utilize the Destiny Cards and our yearly birth reports to understand what kind of energies we are going to be in, in that year, so we can prepare and to see which actions we might take that would be supported and which ones might be more challenging so that we can further make better decisions within our year.
[00:04:00] Alexander: Yes. And you know, unfortunately many times our biological family or the environment that we grow up in, they don't have any idea of this type of information. And so, doing their best and intending their best, many times kids aren't supported the way that they were designed to be supported. Again, parents don't mean to do that, they just don't have the information. And that's what I shifted with, you know, my family lineage and I utilized this information very much when working with raising Ian and Ryan. And it helped me so much to stay out of frustration because they're actually designed very, very different from me. And when a child is designed, cosmically, very different from the parent, it creates a lot of frustration and a lot of failure in communicating. And that's what I enjoy helping people in my private sessions with their kids is creating a better language highway, so to say. And many times, the key is in how you present something to somebody is that initial receptivity or resistance. And if you know how to present something to somebody the way they were designed, cosmically, it has a whole lot more likelihood to be received.
[00:05:15] And the very first example that popped in my head of this is that most people think that I was just musically gifted because I play a lot of different types of instruments and I have for a long time. And the truth is, is that my family wasn't into music really at all. That they didn't even play the radio typically. And I was 19 before I ever played my first instrument. But, when I got very first into astrology, in the beginning was western astrology, and that I had multiple Virgo connections that the perfection was there and the ability to be a musician or an actor or something like that. And see, I'd never had anybody in my family suggest for me to be creative. That just wasn't supported. And that's exactly what I started doing at 19, I entered into my first band and started playing live in front of people and did that for 11 or 12 years. But see, that was an example to where my design gave me the support that my family just didn't know how. And that's a very basic way, I think in an initial way, that most people get into being interested in these types of tools.
[00:06:27] Aaron: And it's important that people know that we're not utilizing this information as a justification for how we are, it's more about seeing where our strengths and our weaknesses are as people through our astrological or energetic designs, so that we know where we can put more work in to being a well-rounded person and where we probably don't need as much work. Right?
[00:06:52] Alexander: Right. Yes. And that's one of the approaches of course, of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy's approach of this is that you do recognize your weaknesses and you confirm your strengths through the same information, and then you want to develop, and this is what I call self-development. That to me is the definition of self-development. I think many people use it in different ways, but to me, self-development is your developing those weaknesses to expand your utility belt. That you can always fall back on a strength, but if you're developing these weaknesses, then you're growing outside of your box. But see, there is a time and a place for both of these experiences. And sometimes, when people are going through traumas or something, they get diagnosed something like P.T.S.D., then it may be a period of time to where that person needs to live exactly within that design. And this is, I think, where many discussions can turn into arguments about what astrology is used for, and some people do want it to justify who they are. Well, I'm just an Aries so I'm just fiery, I'm just like that. And my view has always been like, well, no, I'm a double Virgo, but I don't follow the need to be a perfectionist in every situation, because I saw how that was limiting my enjoyment of life and my connections with others.
[00:08:15] So, I went through a period of time to where I went about, see here, about 10 years without, no, I guess it was about five years, without performing music at all. And then when I re-entered back into music, I partnered with my friend Shanton, and we created what was called the "The Magic Carpet Ride of Sound" and I just found out that he played a lot of different instruments and I'd started playing a lot of indigenous instruments. And to challenge myself, I said, "Well, let's just get together, invite some people and not practice and just play off of each other". See, I would've never, ever, ever done that in my band years. We would practice up to a year and a half before ever playing our first show because I was interested in being perfect. But now, at this stage in my life, I'm more interested in being real and being present and being connected than being perfect. So, it's not that one way or the other is right or wrong, but there are different stages that we go through. And when somebody is in a healing time, then that's not the time to press yourself, press these challenges. It is the time to nurture and to work within the way that the universe supports you, ideally, and then hopefully the thought is once you get to a certain level of wellness, then you pick back up that working on the things that are challenging.
[00:09:31] Aaron: And would you say that in our daily lives, most of our decisions and our energies should be maybe spent in our like comfort zone and then we utilize any other energy that we know we could take on these other aspects that are going to be entering into the friction. Those are, you know, consciously made, because we know we have the energy and we know we want to do this and we know the drive that we're going to have to do it?
[00:09:59] Alexander: I'll give an example here of the way that I want to explain this is that you practice when you're well fed, you're well rested and you're up for the challenge. Then, that may mean that yes, you need to operate, so-called normal, through the majority of your day and then create times to challenge yourself, because this is where intention comes in. That to be very intentful in how you are going to challenge yourself, so that when the challenge gets too much, you can back off. And this is very similar to working out the physical body. You don't just start off with doing a thousand pushups right away. You know, it is good to just start off with maybe 10 to 30 or 40 for a few weeks and then slowly increase. And that's the way that this work is as well. You want to pick times that you can work on it and be successful and know your limits. And in everyday life, people can get lost in that.
[00:10:51] For example, one of the ways that I've suggested over and over is the pause and take a breath exercise. And with that, you can work that into your everyday because it's not that big of a strain. All you gotta do is before you pick up your phone to answer it, before you go to do a task, before you go to get something to eat, that you learn to take one to three breaths. And what that does is it slowly trains you that then when an emergency or an emotional reaction comes up, you're prepared to take that one to three breaths, which will change the action, change the ripple effect, and this is done through building your utility belt slowly.
[00:11:30] So see, there are certain situations where you can make these changes very gradually throughout your day, and then there's other situations where you need to take time to intentionally, maybe, like for instance, if you're easily frustrated, then when you're well rested and you're well fed and you're up for it, then that might be the time to go visit someone that frustrates you often. For me, I've utilized my family for that a lot. But only stay in that frustration as long as you can manage it properly and not engage in negative emotions and then remove yourself from that. So see, during your normal week, you may not want to be around that person if you're having a challenging week, especially. But always be looking for, "Okay, yeah, I had a pretty easy week, I got a good night's sleep, it's a Saturday. I'm going to swing by my brother's and spend 30 minutes and practice being around somebody that frustrates me and work to not get frustrated. So, I love that we're talking about all these different aspects of how to utilize these tools.
[00:12:29] Aaron: So, I feel a little called out because you used the Aries little--
[00:12:33] Alexander: Ohh... Aries.
[00:12:33] Aaron: -- Little thing there. And, uh, that was definitely me [Mm-hmm.] So, I'm saying this because I can see the value in understanding why I was like that. Because if I never knew, if I never looked into the astrology stuff, I would just think that it's just me. It's just how I-- how I was created and there's nothing I can do about it.
[00:12:52] Alexander: Right.
[00:12:53] Aaron: So, being called out in astrology, seeing like, "Okay, here are the attributes of somebody with this sun sign or this moon sign", or any aspect, when you read it about yourself, you're like, "Oh yeah, that's me". But, I feel like you then understand why you're like that. [Mm-hmm.] And then you kind of realize that you have a choice. Like, this isn't something, if you want, this isn't something that can define you going forward. And I think if anybody's going to change something, they are going to realize that whatever they're currently doing is not benefiting them any longer, and then, that is going to propel the change because nobody's going to change unless they can see the benefit.
[00:13:34] Alexander: Yes. And this is connected to, what you hear me talk about over and over is, it's assisting with acceptance. And I like to suggest over and over that, when you try to change something before you truly have accepted it, you're very rarely going to actually change that. It's going to pull back. And acceptance, again, doesn't mean condoning or approving of, it just means that you're ending your friction with this. You're ending the question of, "Why am I like this?" Or "Why do I have to be like this? Why do I always feel like this?" You know when you get that confirmation that, hey, you were designed with a little bit of emotional kick here, and you're able to accept that, then you can go, "But I don't have to do that. That's just going to be my pull. And if I want better relationships, I can learn to manage that. And now that I'm aware of it, I can catch it sooner. Now I just need to practice in my world a hundred more times and I will get better at it."
[00:14:33] So, just like I did with how uncomfortable I was with the story of doing the "Magic Carpet Ride of Sound" and just bringing a bunch of instruments and me and this other gentleman just playing at the same time. And it wasn't intended to be a musical performance, it was more based around sound and how the instruments would make you feel and this type of thing. So see, it was all brand new for me, but it was scary for me. But, it was very beneficial for me to learn to not need everything to be so perfect all the time and to be willing to be more vulnerable and to share more truth, more rawness.
[00:15:11] Aaron: Yeah. And I can say that I've gone through a similar experience with the whole perfectionism side of myself within this podcast because I care about how other people see me and I want to be seen as professional and seen as not mumbling all the time. [Mm-hmm.] And so, at the beginning of this podcast, we would spend hours editing. And I mean, it still takes hours, but the longer that has gone on, the less I'm more of a perfectionist because I can see and understand and I've experienced how much more effort it is to take out all that, and then also how less natural the conversation can even sound when you're trying to control every sound that your mouth is making on the podcast. So, over time I've definitely relaxed the expectations of myself, but also how I want to be heard and seen on the podcast. Because I can see the value more in the natural flow of the conversation, and also seeing and experiencing other people's podcasts, and I don't even hear their mistakes. [Mm-hmm.] So, anyway, it's been a slow process, but, it's been that slow process of moving because I can see the benefit of the other side of it versus just wanting to control everything.
[00:16:28] Alexander: Yes. And what helped me to come to this realization for myself, and the perfectionism, was seeing artists, musicians that I really, really respected being vulnerable and making mistakes and then maybe stopping a song and like, talking about what just happened. Or, seeing that they're so into it from a feel and emotional standpoint that they missed a few licks or something. And that realness in music and in art became more important than ability to perform. Because that just comes from repetition most of the time, and that repetition takes away that spontaneity, that feel. And there's just so many incredible musicians and my taste in music has changed drastically over my life, and looking for that realness is what I appreciate most. And that's what, of course, I enjoy presenting myself with people and why the podcast is as vulnerable as it is with me sharing stories of my actual life and Aaron sharing stories of his actual life.
[00:17:28] So, I like the direction of all of this, but I'm hoping that everyone is making their connections that if you're listening and you're aware of your astrological makeup, then maybe this will spark a new way to approach it. And if you're new listening and you haven't checked into your astrological makeup, we would love to talk with you and help explain some of this. And when in my private sessions, I just get a lot of heads going up and down as I'm reading the different aspects of people. And like you said earlier, that there is a lot of confirmation there, but most importantly, a lot of people want to work on themselves, but they don't know what to do. And this is just a great way to show the difference between what you picked up from your living environment, whether it was your parents or grandparents or whoever you lived with, or stepparents, foster parents, and what was actually yours meant to hold onto. And this is why it's so important in my private sessions, is that's what helps me to separate between family lineage stuff and then divinely guided cosmic attributes as well.
[00:18:32] Aaron: Yeah, I can attest to Alexander's taste in music changing over the last seven years. I walked into, rap playing when I walked in today, so--
[00:18:40] Alexander: Yeah. How about that?
[00:18:41] Aaron: So, yeah, it's definitely a variety. But, in the complete conversation we are going to get more in depth on how to utilize your astrological makeup to propel your self-development and more advanced ways of getting into that, so please join us on the other side.
[00:18:56] Alexander: I look forward to continuing the conversation.
[00:18:58] [ ♫ Music ♫]
[00:19:32] Aaron: We both appreciate everyone joining us on this side of the conversation, and I hope you also enjoyed the little music in between. That's something new that we are trying to incorporate.
[00:19:42] Alexander: I'm looking forward to continuing this conversation, getting a little bit deeper into the way the J.U.S.T. Philosophy approaches both ways of utilizing this astrological information.
[00:19:53] Aaron: I wanted to first get into the comfort zone that we can feel or the part of our design where it feels easy to live. Like for me, it's being creative and, you know, I'm a 3/5 in the Human Design, I'm a three of diamonds in the Destiny Cards and I think Aries are pretty creative creatures.
[00:20:17] Alexander: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:18] Aaron: So, I think my default, or what I love to do, is just to be creative. Like, think of ideas or do the creative side of projects, which is why I often love starting new projects, but not finishing them. Not doing the like administrative work. But, if I ever wanted to have a business, I would need to do the administrative work. It can't be just all creativity all the time. So, I guess maybe let's talk about that side of things. Like, we can't live in our design all the time. The world won't cater to us in that way. Right?
[00:20:53] Alexander: Well, I mean, I think that some people get a lifetime where they get to experience that at, you know, at different levels. Whether that's you're born into royalty and you have everything taken care of for you, so you can just create whatever you create. Or you get to a certain level of your profession, such as a musician to where, you know, everybody caters to you. But, the thing that is connected here is there's not normally a level of contentment. So again, it's not just about that these things don't work and it's all right or wrong, we're always talking here on this podcast about, you know, what's gonna bring you contentment and not. That might be one of the most important things. And so, very rarely is a person content when they are just completely supported and somebody takes care of all of the so-called mundane things, because there's a view that the mundane things is what keeps you grounded. And so, for the optimal balanced artist to be able to be creative, but still be able to come back down to earth, so to say, and take care of the everyday stuff, to develop that is more likely to create a well-balanced and content artistic person. So I think that's a very important thing to point out right away.
[00:22:11] Aaron: Yeah, and I would bring in the pillar Polarity vs Duality there, because if we're spending all of our time being creative, then it kind of loses its value where if we only have like, two hours a day to be creative, then we're going to enjoy those hours of creativity a lot more than if we just do it all the time. Then the creativity becomes the mundane, right?
[00:22:34] Alexander: That's one way to look at it, and another way is to look at, well, why can't you find a way to make the mundane creative? And, I think that's the perception shift that successful, truly successful, content people are able to do is that they're able to see they're a creative person and then they're able to see that whatever they're doing, find a way to make that creative instead of this polarizing. In this philosophy of that polarity versus duality, that's kind of the focus there is that it's in the duality. I like doing this and I don't like doing this. And in the polarity view, it would be, well, I noticed that I have a preference to just want to be creative, but I also want to be successful, so, I need to find a way to make this mundane and administrative stuff as creative as possible. Maybe that could be just putting on some funky music in the background and dancing around while you're filing taxes or you're creating a spreadsheet or something like that.
[00:23:32] And I think, again, were looking at the power is in the balance. And another view of this philosophy is the balance between the masculine and feminine. See, there's a lot of people out there that have certain designs not be confrontational, but their parents. So see, they don't wanna play the parental role of the discipline because that's not what naturally comes to them. But if they don't learn to do that, they're gonna have an unbalanced relationship with their children. And then if they wind up not having their partner around that plays that discipline role, then what's going to happen is the kids aren't going to get disciplined and there's gonna be issues with that down the road. So again, this taps into a little bit of that, just because it's easy or just because you can do it a certain way doesn't mean it's for the highest good of everyone around.
[00:24:19] Aaron: Yeah. And I liked what you added to what I said and now I realize that that's more in alignment with finding contentment, like you were saying, or wellness, because you would want to bring both of those views to the center, so it is more, I wouldn't say balance, but I think equilibrium is the word that you use. [Yes.] So, if I'm finding creativity in everything I'm doing, then I'm always in that alignment and I'm more in the center where when I'm doing something really creative, I'm not like really into it, and when I'm not, I'm not like really down and bummed out and depressed. [Mm-hmm.] You want to bring that in so that no matter what you're doing, you're being creative and you're enjoying your time, but you're not enjoying your time any more if you were just being creative or any less if you were just making a spreadsheet, like you said.
[00:25:09] Alexander: Yes. And, you know, a big key to that, to add on to that word creative, is like, original. That's what it became for myself. Like, anything that I do, I want it to be original. I want it to be different than what everybody else does, and I've been fortunate enough to be able to develop that. But, it's taken me over 25 years to slowly chop wood and carry water to be able to make a living at doing all the things that I enjoy doing and they all fit under one umbrella. But, that was through doing a lot of things that I didn't prefer to do. Learning to do things that I didn't want to take time to learn, but it was a necessity.
[00:25:46] And I want to bring this back around to that parent view. That the parent that just chooses to be the nurturer and not the disciplinary, see, many times what happens to them is they don't get respected. It's the disciplinary that builds the respect. So, when you're able to work with any relationship to where you're able to be that so-called masculine discipline energy and the feminine energy of the nurturing, then again, that's most likely to be successful for a so-called balanced relationship with the child. And my ideal is seeing that both parents, no matter what the gender is, that both of those are strengthened and that the parents, both parents or the single parent, actually has a choice of whether to come from the masculine energy or from the feminine energy. What is best for the situation rather than what is preferred.
[00:26:44] Aaron: And most of the time, whatever we're made to be, for me it would be creative, then that's gonna be our want. Right? Would you say that? So, whenever we're in a situation and we feel ourselves saying, "Well that's not what I want to do," then we automatically know that it is going against kind of like, how we're made. So, we are going to learn something from there, [Mm-hmm.] but at least we know kind of where our wants come from.
[00:27:11] Alexander: Yes. And again, it helps with that confirmation and acceptance, but I think it will be very generally understood that if you just consistently chase your wants, you will never reach contentment. Those wants, never stop. So, that is the purpose of this self-development work, is that, from my view, you're seeking this level of contentment rather than this thirsting, this thriving for something constantly that you buy the cars, you buy the clothes, you buy the homes. You buy all this stuff but it never ends, because you're always attracted to more or something different. And so, that attraction or those preferences is what keeps us stuck in a box, from my view. And doing self-development work and accepting that certain strengths need to be set aside to practice these other things that you're weaker on so that you become a more so-called balanced person.
[00:28:07] Aaron: Yeah. Because if we just follow our wants then we're never really challenging ourselves in a way, and we're never really growing. So, I think it's really important that we consciously can understand where our wants come from or when we are wanting something, because we're gonna have a feeling or a pull towards something and some people may confuse that with being divinely guided towards something when it's really just a want that they have. [Mm-hmm.] And so, I think that's really important on this path that we're all trying to take is that we are attempting to grow here and we're not going to grow if we are always doing what is the easiest for us.
[00:28:46] Alexander: Right. And it's important here that there's not a right or wrong or better than worse here. Again, if you're in a healing situation to where you've got some type of trauma or PTSD that you're dealing with, then that's not the time that I suggest that you work on all of these challenges. That might be the time to where you do your best to arrange your life in a way that you are living within the confines of like, what comes naturally. But see, again, many people's natural instincts were trained to them by their family unit. So, just because it's an urge for you to do, it can be something that you're used to doing, or used to being around, rather than what is your true makeup. So, that's where the research can still help. But when I work with people that are dealing with major healing issues, you know, I want them to work with as little friction as possible. But for a healthy human being that's looking to change their life and shift their life and really want to make change in their life, then that's when I suggest, well, hey, maybe we work with some of these weaknesses and set some of your strengths to the side so that you can expand your consciousness.
[00:29:59] Aaron: So, what would be the difference in that where you have your energetic makeup and you're made a certain way, but on the other side, you have your environmental makeup, how you were brought up as a child and you're trained another certain way. So, when we put both of those two together, how does each one affect the person differently? Is there a difference? Because if somebody does something that was trained to them, that goes against their makeup, then is that just keeping them in a perpetual state of unwellness or conflict within themselves or energy leakage if they continue? Even though to them, that may have a feeling of safeness because it is more expected?
[00:30:47] Alexander: Yeah, because it's just what they're used to. See, people stay in abusive relationships because it's just what they're used to. It's not what's best for them. You know, and in this situation, the beauty of the Human Design is breaking it down into five, basically, categories of people in those categories, this is how you receive information and give information. And so, for instance, a reflector or a projector is very influenced by their environment, and Generators, Manifesting Generators, and Manifestors are less affected by their environment.
[00:31:22] So, say a projector child, or even a reflector child, is being raised by someone that carries characteristics they may or may not be a Generator, or Manifesting Generator or Manifestor, but it may have been the way that they were trained. So, they're just continuing the family lineage. The Generators and Manifesting Generators and Manifestors are the creators, the ones that make things happen. The Generators and Manifesting Generators actually do the work to make it happen, and the Manifestors are the visionaries.
[00:31:54] So, if they have a Reflector or Projector kid, see, they're constantly going, "Why don't you just make something happen? Why don't you get up and go get something going?" But, projectors and reflectors are designed to be part of groups, so they're not designed with this energy and the impetus to make things happen. So see, that child's going to feel judged their whole life unless they match this approval for their parent. And so, let's hypothetically say that the kid is able to adapt and match and overcome the natural design of the Projector or Reflector and even may be so-called successful and they live their life at this go, go, go rate. See, there's gonna be an expiration date of when that is healthy, and then it's going to turn into a slow deterioration. And then they're going to hit a wall because they don't have the energy to keep up at that pace.
[00:32:50] So, that's an example of how, with good intentions you know, the parent of that Projector or Reflector could really have pushed them. But then that becomes the Reflector's or Projector's lifestyle, and then that is where I see a lot of illness come in is because if they don't change that habit of the way that they're acting, some people call it type A, just go, go, go, they're going to more than likely crash, eventually. And so, this is where knowing this being a parent is just, to me, it is priceless, because I've proven in my own experience that it's much more rewarding to raise someone, a child, the way they were cosmically designed, than the way that you were raised. And most of the time, unfortunately, most people do what was done to them, or they do the exact opposite. It's two extremes, and the sweet spot is somewhere in between. And that's how all this astrological tools and information can be very useful.
[00:33:52] Aaron: So, would you say that your energetic makeup is always what's best for you, in a way? Like, if I take my 5 profile on the Human Design. So, one of the main aspects of it is it's somebody who doesn't like confrontation, so--
[00:34:09] Alexander: Avoids confrontation.
[00:34:10] Aaron: So, it has been eye-opening to learn that, because then I was able to take kind of an inventory of how I react in certain situations of confrontation, I will shut down, I will stop talking, I will go very internal and start processing. But to an outsider, they just think I'm ignoring them. It can kind of seem like that. So that doesn't serve me well if I want to communicate with people, especially in like a romantic relationship. If they're trying to communicate something to me that I'm doing that maybe is causing conflict, I'm not really receiving that well, and I'm not communicating that I'm even receiving that because I'm shutting down. So, my default energetic makeup is not really serving me in the areas that I want to have.
[00:35:01] Alexander: Expand on.
[00:35:02] Aaron: Yeah.
[00:35:02] Alexander: In your life. Yeah. Yeah, because see, if you were looking to just be a solidarity type of person by yourself and not looking to make connections, then there's nothing wrong with that. But, you know, it could turn into business situations. It's going to follow you. So in this situation, again, there's not a right or wrong way to approach this, but I like to suggest to have an agreement with your partner that we're not gonna try to resolve conflict when emotions are present, and if you're feeling what you just described, that's what's happening. You're having an emotional reaction, and that reaction is to shut down. Very, very common. But to be able to say, "I've been triggered and I really want to work this out with you. Can we talk about this tomorrow at three o'clock and I'm going to go process some now." Like, that is, to me, an advanced way of communicating that you're able to take what you need in that moment, because it's not gonna be good if you are forced into this confrontation. You've already communicated previously before this, ideally, that hey, when this happens, I'm not running away from the problem. I want to set a time and a date, I feel like is important. That makes the other person feel like you still are interested in how they feel and you're interested in a resolve, and then you do whatever you need to, to process as best you can, and then come to that next meeting and be vulnerable, open and honest. And again, if the emotions get activated again, "I'm so sorry, but I need to take a little bit more time. So, can we talk about this again in a couple of days?" To where it is always feeling like both parties are involved, that we are working toward a solution, but it can't be forced. I think it's very important for all 5's in the Human Design, and it's very, very common to have this. Because again, working with your resistance is what is going to bring you the resolve to get the communication and the connection that you optimally want. So, this is a great example of where your natural design isn't necessarily going to help you to gain the preferences that you have as far as relationships go.
[00:37:14] Aaron: Yeah. And even recognizing my like, desire deeply with every cell of my body, to retreat, like stopping that and realizing, no, I want something better for myself. And just even communicating, "Hey, I'm having an emotional reaction. Can we talk about this later?" Like, like that is so hard to do.
[00:37:33] Alexander: Yes. Yes it is. And it's important for others to hear you say that, because I'm in agreement and that's why, you know, a general teaching, one of the most general teachings of this whole philosophy is if it's challenging for you to do, it's probably good for you in the long run. And so, that's why we might need to do it in spurts and then know when to take breaks, and that's how we develop over time in getting rid of this idea of this fix it mentality. Letting go of fix. It's a new management and you're just learning to manage it over a long period of time. And again, remember that it takes three weeks to make or break a pattern, takes three months to create a lifestyle change, and so anything that you really want to implement like that, to practice it as diligently as you can for three months, and then it typically will turn from a chore into something that you actually enjoy and get a rush, to a certain extent, of accomplishment.
[00:38:29] Because again, when we do something that we don't want to do, but we know is good for us, there's a reward in that very similar to feelings of ecstasy, feelings of, you know, whether it's a sexual orgasm, there's a feeling of, it's the exact opposite of self-judgment. I'll say that. And where I've put this into practice for myself is in my physical workouts and now I'm two and a half months into not missing a day, and there's been plenty of days in that to where I wanted to miss. I even went through the process of justifying it, talking myself into it, but I just don't give myself that one day off. And see, every day after working out, there is a rush of accomplishment. And see, and if I don't work out, then later on in the evening I'm sitting back judging myself.
[00:39:23] So all of you people out there that are judging and criticizing yourself, realize that the solution for that is different action. And if you consistently do that different action, because believe me, I've got that three months in my sight. I know that right before that three months or right before that three weeks, it gets the hardest. Because the subconscious wants to pull you back to who you have been because that's the comfort zone, and growth isn't about comfort. So this is why there's a big separation between people that want to use these tools for growth and people that want to use these tools for either justification or a healing time. It's all different levels of usefulness, and I just want everybody to see it at different just stages, not necessarily better than the other, but necessary stages that most people go through.
[00:40:13] Aaron: So, you are a 4/1 in the Human Design profile, and so there are different aspects of that energy that you have within you. So, like the 4 is more of like a teacher role. I think often you've said that you're designed to answer questions, I think that falls within the 4. And then the 1 is somebody who needs a lot of alone time.
[00:40:34] Alexander: Yes.
[00:40:34] Aaron: Now looking at your life, you've been in bands where you practiced six days a week, [Mm-hmm.] So, I have to think that you didn't get much alone time during that time. And you've had to be a student to learn a lot of information to even arrive at your conclusions that are now, you know, part of the J.U.S.T. Philosophy. So all of these you've done, go against your natural design. So, what can you say about that? Is it like you had a drive because you wanted to accomplish something, right? [Mm-hmm.] So, you knew that you had to lean into the friction if you wanted to accomplish it, and that's what drove you through that?
[00:41:10] Alexander: Yes. I'm so glad you brought that up, because yeah, my 1 in my profile is the singular person, the person that processes by themselves that needs more alone time than anybody else. But, I was a typical 20 year old that was always, you know, I was in bands that were playing every weekend, practicing all during the week. I was just around people constantly and I didn't know or know how to appreciate the beauty of alone time at that time. That just didn't exist. So I was much more like chaotic back then and so unbalanced and ungrounded, but I didn't know any of this information because I didn't start getting into this world until around 27 years old.
[00:41:50] So see, when I started seeing and learning about myself and seeing the benefits that my charts and things were talking about alone time and how important that was to me, I had to use structure and discipline over a three or four year span to set times to take weekends alone. So, in the beginning, every three months or something, I would just need three days alone. But in that three days, I would need it, but then in it, I would think that I needed to be around people because I didn't want to be with my thoughts. I wasn't comfortable with who I was and what I was doing. And so it became hard to be alone. And so it was hard for me to understand that in the beginning.
[00:42:33] Now fast forward, you know, over 20 years of working on that, my alone time is my most protected asset that I have. I work very deeply in the trenches with people on a daily basis, and the way that I'm able to show up a hundred percent for people is that I have so much time that I spend alone, in what I call no input, no output. And if I get overloaded with too much input or output, or I don't get alone time, then I can get easily frustrated. I can start to feel insecure, because those are my two main emotions. The negative emotions come up to the surface, the more we're overwhelmed, the more we're pressed. And, so see, that was an example that I didn't even know how important a alone time was. Me learning about that cosmically, and then me deciding to use structure and discipline to learn to appreciate it, to the point to where now I get it every single day. I know how to get three minutes here. I know how to get five minutes here. I know when I'm starting to feel the need to be away from people for a 12-hour period or a 24-hour period or something like that. So I've learned to adjust that, and that was a big part of my healing through my seven year trauma, was that learning to be in complete comfort. To be alone, and not to be around other people influencing my energy and exacerbating the pain that I was going through.
[00:43:57] So, that was just a great one, and then the other one was with the 4, yes, I'm supposed to be like in front of people teaching or sharing something I love. And see, that started in the band scene and that helped me to get used to being in front of people to eventually hold events completely by myself. But I don't know that I would've ever been able to hold those events by myself if I hadn't gone through 12 years of performing in front of people with a group of, you know, my comrades and writing original music.
[00:44:27] So, in both these situations, my cosmic outlook is what wound up being the catalyst for me, developing structure and discipline to get much closer and the closest I've ever been to contentment and peace in my life. And that is me working with my design, but it wasn't just haphazard how that helped. And again, holding this view of the polarity, that in order to sharpen a tool, sometimes you need to really work on it a long time, but once you get it sharp, you don't have to work on it as much.
[00:45:03] Aaron: As you were saying that, I kind of felt it come in that there are some people who need more of their energetic design, whatever that is, because they're either in an environment where they can't do that, so they're not feeling fulfilled, they're not feeling like a passion for something, they're not feeling fed. And then, there are some people who need less of whatever that is. [Mm-hmm.] And so for you, like, you could have, or, I mean, you still can, you could just say, "Hey, I'm a 1, I just want to be alone!" and you could fall into that and then justify it by saying, you're a 1.
[00:45:39] Alexander: Yes.
[00:45:39] Aaron: Like, I feel like I have been reflecting on some of my past behavior over the past couple years and like, I like to lie in bed in the morning. [Mm-hmm.] and I've been justifying it by saying, "Oh, I'm a Cancer". I like to just think about my thoughts and feelings in bed and where I'm comfortable or I take long showers because I do the same thing. I think about my day, my thoughts and feelings. And so, I can justify it that way. [Mm-hmm.]
[00:46:02] So in my case, I need to bring in more structure and discipline to say, "Hey, you can get this stuff during these times, but it's affecting," or if it is affecting my life, [Mm-hmm.] "it's affecting your life and you want to do this, right? So, here's a time period where you're free to do all this. And then once it hits this time period, you're gonna do this because you want the ultimate goal, right?"
[00:46:25] Alexander: Yeah, but that's the beauty of the structure and discipline and why, again, the structure and the discipline-- many people want to see that as a masculine energy and I'm challenging that, because many times it's the feminine energy that arranges things for the kids and sets up the parameters and that kind of thing. So this masculine view of the word management and structure and discipline, I think, is very useful for our listeners to look at that from a different perspective.
[00:46:52] Aaron: Yeah, because I feel like this masculine energy of judgment or like, you have to do this this way, but I agree, if you're trying to go easy on yourself, you're going to approach it more with a feminine energy of nurturing and, you know, let's try to do it this way now because this is going to yield the result that you want.
[00:47:09] Alexander: Yes. And of course, you know, going back to what you just mentioned, my 1, when I went through my trauma of losing Sherri, that's what every cell in my body wanted to retreat. And the idea of just joining a monastery, I didn't even really care what the sect was, but the idea of just doing something like brewing beer or working in a garden all day and communicating with very few people and chanting and like that kind of thing was very, very appealing because I just had my heart broken beyond my ability to explain. But see, again, this cosmic information helped me to understand that that wasn't my soul's purpose, and that if I was going to help people and feel success in my contentment, then I was going to have to do what was hard and continue to be out here in the world and develop this different way of approaching relationships, and ourselves, and our self-growth, and that type of thing. And share it to people that are hungry for it as you listeners are, and we're in such gratitude for you.
[00:48:14] Aaron: Yeah. And so the people who need more of it, because they're not getting it, so if they are like a 3 like me and they have a lot of creative energy, but they're in a situation where they're not being creative at all, they're probably gonna feel depressed, stuck, you know, maybe not having a lot of energy, and so they may need to bring in structure and discipline after learning about their energetic design and how they were made to be creative. So, they should do that, I mean, I think we've talked about how everybody should bring in creativity in their life, because it does help you feel alive. It does change and alter the mundane so you're not just locked into that subconscious of just going through the motions of your day. But anyway, I'll get back to what I was saying. So, that person may need to bring in the structure of discipline to say, "Okay, I need to remind myself to be creative". So 20 minutes here in the morning, 20 minutes at night, I'm going to purposely be creative about something or with something. And then, over time, once they get into that energy, then they may not need the structure. So, it's more about trying to bring ourselves to that kind of equilibrium or state where, I mean, creative energy is different because we can say that you can treat anything creatively, but if somebody is not creative or so like let's bring in a different attribute. So, like yours, being alone. That's, I think, a better example because you can't be alone all day long and still live because you have to leave the house at some point, probably, unless you're rich and you have other people bringing you stuff. But even then you have to interact, right?
[00:49:50] Alexander: Well, I do want to touch on both of them. I actually think that the 3 is a useful one because, let me remind that the energy of creative energy, sexual energy, and the emotion worry, are basically the same energy being dispersed three different ways. So if a 3, a very creative person, isn't creative in their life, and maybe they don't have a healthy sex life either, there's almost a guarantee that they're going to worry about things, and the way to balance that back out is either through a healthy sex life or even self-pleasure. And I'm talking about this from an energetic standpoint, rather than the physical sexual point. We're talking about keeping energy moving or being creative, and creativity in this is defined as anything that is non-repetitious. Anything that you don't typically do. Anything that you're not trying to make money at or create or generate something. Creativity is just freedom. Like, watch a five year old child just playing by themselves. That's creativity. They're free. They're just in an experience. So, I think that that's important to see that that energy's going to be there, and how they distribute it is extremely important.
[00:51:02] Aaron: Well, the reason why I differentiated it was because we were able to say, well, you can make anything creative, so if my energetic design was to be creative, then you can kind of do that. But, if we took something where you couldn't integrate it with everything, like being alone, [Mm-hmm.] how would you integrate that with everything like you can with creativity?
[00:51:22] Alexander: It's very challenging, but there are ways. Like, for instance, when I was learning to meditate, my teacher suggested to learn to meditate in the marketplace around a thousand people. If you can learn to still your mind in the chaos, you can easily still your mind in quiet and silence. And so, that became a way of me practicing that no matter where I was and whoever was around, I could pull my energy in and be in my own little world, but still be cognitive of what's going on around me. So, that actually became a discipline and a practice that I worked on for many, many years to learn to not only be dependent on complete alone time to get what I need, but to be able, in any situation, to make sure that I'm getting that alone time because that's what optimizes me to relate to people and to assist and to be of use to people. So, that's an example of learning to practice being alone, even around people, was working with my energy field and when to expand it and when to contract it.
[00:52:32] Aaron: So I know this has been more of just a conversation about all this and the way we've both utilized it, or we can utilize it with our specific examples, but with the people out there listening, how can we steer them in a direction where they can then maybe look at their design or maybe what they really get fed upon and how can they consciously use that knowledge to figure out whether they're getting enough of it or too much, and to be conscious about that balance, and then how do they utilize that for growth?
[00:53:08] Alexander: We did creativity and we did alone time. Is there another one that you're wanting to give an example?
[00:53:15] Aaron: Well, no, just in general for other people out there who may not have a lot of creative energy or may not have the one part in the Human Design. What general information or sort of a loose step-by-step can we give them so that they can go out and practice, or put this in practice, or ask themselves the questions needed to make their energetic design more useful in their self-development practice than just a knowledge base.
[00:53:42] Alexander: Okay. Just to touch on a couple other things here, for some people it's co-dependency and these are the 2's in the Human Design profile. Co-dependency doesn't have to be viewed as something negative, but it means you have to go to an extra step to make sure that you think of yourself or that you take time for yourself. 2's can be very guilty for giving, giving, giving, giving, and then eventually they felt taken advantage of and then they turn ice cold and bitter. So see, when you know that about you, you just regulate your giving. And I like to tell 2's, when I'm working with them, to give maybe 25% of what they really want to initially give, and you can always give more, but make sure that the people are processing and being grateful to the amount that you're giving. Whether that's your time, your energy, your money, whatever it is.
[00:54:29] But then for like, other people that are visionaries, these are the 6's in the Human Design profile, and so, 6's can tend to want to talk about the dream or the end vision, but they get brought down by people talking about the logical facts of the step-by-step of what it takes to create that. So again, here, those visionaries, it'll be useful for them to recognize when somebody's receiving their vision and when somebody's not, and it doesn't have to be taken personally. Because if you just realize that everybody's not here that is able to connect to that end vision. There are certain people like myself that are designed to specifically focus on that step-by-step. And see we're back to, again, there is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, but just take whatever influence you feel very drawn to in your life and know that there's a beneficial side and there's a toxic side, and most people are dancing around in the toxic side of whatever that attribute is.
[00:55:30] To answer your question in a general way, we want to look at how can we bring that into balance, or equilibrium, and that normally means setting up some type of structure, some type of discipline and accountability. We just released a episode on accountability that could be very useful in connection to this. But, you work to, how can I bring that in balance, like with 2's that can be codependent, you know, I don't tell them, "Hey, you need to stay away from relationships," and that kind of thing. I just try to say," Hey, try to give maybe 25% of what the hundred percent that you want to give, see how it's received". Maybe the next day give 25% more, that type of thing. Because the bad thing for 2's, what happens a lot of times is, hypothetically, they're in the grocery store, they hear a woman complaining about she doesn't have enough money to buy her kids the formula that they need for food, and so that 2 just reaches in their pocket and gives that lady a hundred dollars and doesn't know her and just says, "Hey, I want to help you out. I want you to get food for your kids". And then as that person that gave that money walks out the grocery store, she glances back and sees the woman buying alcohol with it. See, that's the bitterness that would come up, and that's where 2's need to be very careful about their giving, because that can turn them cold and make them not want to give. Just like 6's, if they talk to too many people that don't support their vision or entertain their vision, they get discouraged and they stop dreaming and they stop talking about their visions.
[00:56:57] So again, I think this is very useful for people to hear, that just whatever aspect you enjoy or don't enjoy, know that they all have two different aspects of a beneficial and a non-beneficial way to practice it, and if you look deep within yourself, I think most people can come up with a few things that they can activate the information from this episode right away in their lives and start working with.
[00:57:22] Aaron: Yeah, I would be interested in hearing people's experiences with this episode or any other episodes as we give a little bit of homework on how to utilize whatever the topic is. Feel free to join us on our Facebook group, Wise Whys Community and share your experiences.
[00:57:36] Alexander: Thank you everyone.